When is the right time to have kids?

When did you feel was the "right time" to have kids, or was it an "accident" ?

Maybe we can all share our experiences when we felt it was time to expand the family. Is it mostly financially, emotionally, religiously, or just 'cause?

Well, this is a big one, but I know lots of people don't consider it - when you can financially afford to.

Originally Posted by iamfat

When did you feel was the "right time" to have kids, or was it an "accident" ?

Maybe we can all share our experiences when we felt it was time to expand the family. Is it mostly financially, emotionally, religiously, or just 'cause?

I honestly don't believe thre is a standard answer that applies to every couple. With that said, hubby and I opted to have our kids while we were young and could really enjoy them. We are both the youngest in our families which no doubt factored into our decision as well as there being a 10 year age difference between hubby and his youngest sister. We dated for 4 years before we got married, I was 21 and hubby was 25. I was pregnant 3 months after getting married and yes, it was planned as were all our kids. I wouldn't change what we did, I happen to like where our life is now. I will 40 this year and our oldest will be 18. Our 2 other kids are 15 and almost 12 which affords us quite a bit of freedom when we want it!

My GF and I dated 8 years before finally deciding to make the leap!!!
I was/am 28 she is 26. We waited for several reasons:

• Live out our early 20s, party, have fun.
• Get ourselves into a better financial position
• Mature (individually and as a couple)

We have been engaged for 8 years and (she) finally decided to get married this summer....hehe.

Everyone's different.

I was married at 21 and my husband was 24. We were both still in university and agreed that we wanted children once we were out of school and were still young and energetic. I din't want to wait and have the added possibility of dealing with fertility issues.

Our first child was born when I was 24, the second when I was 26. Both of them were planned. I'm 30 now, and many of my friends are just starting their families now. I may not have had the freedom to party and fun when I was in my mid 20's but I have a lot more freedom than my friends now!

I don't believe in the idea that you have to be financially stable to have kids. Maybe I should clarify that-you need to be financially stable enough to support a family, but you don't need to have a huge nest-egg, etc. We've been able to provide all that our family needs (and some of our wants) and that's even with me staying at home to raise our kids.

I think the most important thing about the timing of children is to have them when you are ready. That could be in your early 20's, could be early 30's. Only you can know.

Originally Posted by sdm242

I don't believe in the idea that you have to be financially stable to have kids. Maybe I should clarify that-you need to be financially stable enough to support a family, but you don't need to have a huge nest-egg, etc.

Agreed.

I'll agree with sdm242 as well! I don't think you can ever really know how much having kids will cost until they are here. Our kids have always have everything they need and most of their wants as well.

Now I'll add this tidbit, for comparison. As I said, we had our kids when we were young. They are now almost 18, 15 and almost 12 as I turn 40 this year. My brother will be 44 this year, married 4 years this year and has a 3 year old! Last time he was home from Vancouver we LOAO's as we planned an adult's dinner out. He was scrambling to find a babysitter while we phoned in a pizza for our kids and walked out the door.

Originally Posted by CSK'sMom

I'll agree with sdm242 as well! I don't think you can ever really know how much having kids will cost until they are here. Our kids have always have everything they need and most of their wants as well.

Now I'll add this tidbit, for comparison. As I said, we had our kids when we were young. They are now almost 18, 15 and almost 12 as I turn 40 this year. My brother will be 44 this year, married 4 years this year and has a 3 year old! Last time he was home from Vancouver we LOAO's as we planned an adult's dinner out. He was scrambling to find a babysitter while we phoned in a pizza for our kids and walked out the door.

There is the flip side, while you were 24 and at home with your 2 year old, he was probably out partying. If you had planned an adult dinner out at that time, you would be scrambling to find a babysitter, and he wouldn't even have to phone for a pizza.

To each their own, early or late, both have advantages and disadvantages. What's right for you is when you want to have kids, regardless of age (within physical limitations of course) or financial situation, you can have kids. It's just a difference of whether your kid get's a bugaboo, or a used stroller from a used kids store.

Big disadvantage to the late families and I mean late 30s and those that push 40,,,,, you wont be doing the fun things with them because the aches and pains will have set in,,,, sickness and even worse,,,,,, the odds are not in your favour you will even live to see grandkids!!!!

My brother is in that boat, 37 this yr, and his wife 39, no kids,,, she keeps thinking about her carreer first,,,, better take that promotion. Its going to be awfully lonely if they dont have kids once there family is past on! Plus my kids are 11 and 14 now,,, so they wouldnt even play with kids if they had them.

I think too many people confuse "financial stability" with "being ready to retire". Kids certainly make you budget better, get ready for university, cars, weddings, whatever...but that's life. I think it's far better to have kids young while you can get the most out of each other. We had our first child at 27, second at 30...and that wasn't really as young as I wanted to be. My parents were at 23 and 26, which would be better.

Originally Posted by deep

I think too many people confuse "financial stability" with "being ready to retire". Kids certainly make you budget better, get ready for university, cars, weddings, whatever...but that's life. I think it's far better to have kids young while you can get the most out of each other. We had our first child at 27, second at 30...and that wasn't really as young as I wanted to be. My parents were at 23 and 26, which would be better.

If you look at it financially, you can never afford children. I was 23 when I became a father and now having a great time with my two teens.

I'm 27 and my wife is 24. We don't have a whole lot of money, but then we plan on teaching our children self-sufficiency with regards to education, transportation, weddings, etc. We're having twins, but fortunately we're getting a lot of hand-me-downs to soften the financial burden.

Originally Posted by fireguy9

Big disadvantage to the late families and I mean late 30s and those that push 40,,,,, you wont be doing the fun things with them because the aches and pains will have set in,,,, sickness and even worse,,,,,, the odds are not in your favour you will even live to see grandkids!!!!

My brother is in that boat, 37 this yr, and his wife 39, no kids,,, she keeps thinking about her carreer first,,,, better take that promotion. Its going to be awfully lonely if they dont have kids once there family is past on! Plus my kids are 11 and 14 now,,, so they wouldnt even play with kids if they had them.

I was 31 when I had my oldest who is now only 10, my youngest is 5 and still in kindergarten. DH and I are both healthy, active and very involved in every aspect of our childrens lives, whether it's basketball, volleyball, swimming, snowboarding....what every they choose we do it with them. To imply aches and pains is way off base.

We didn't meet until I was 29, and dh was 36!

I LOVE that we travelled and enjoyed single life before finding our soulmate and combining household. Granted at that age we were very set in our ways, but we were also mature enough to settle in and give our undivided attention to our family. We enjoy a vivied social life and rarely get a sitter for grown up time. Our children are as at home at La Castille as they are at McDs!!!

Granted I will be in my mid fifties when the youngest starts College, but that's the new 40 these days.

I knew I was ready because my wife told me I was.

Originally Posted by mrcantrell

I knew I was ready because my wife told me I was.

Yeah....dh was told by his friends with tweens that I would decide!! lol