When is the right time to give "The Talk" ?

so...when is the right time to give your kids "The Talk" ?

for those of you don't know what im talking about, here let me give an example.

"Son/Daughter, when a man, loves a woman and vice versa, they develop feelings...." and it goes on like that or something.

I think I was told at the age of 5...

or was it 7?

Originally Posted by AzN_RiverdaleCI

so...when is the right time to give your kids "The Talk" ?

for those of you don't know what im talking about, here let me give an example.

"Son/Daughter, when a man, loves a woman and vice versa, they develop feelings...." and it goes on like that or something.

Well...I was never told. I learned via friends, playboy and just curiosity. Now with my kids I don't want the same to happen because it can be really awkward. Since I have 2 girls (and unless we have a 3rd that happens to be a boy) I will be leaving the job to the wife...and will probably recommend that we/she has it around the time the oldest turns 12/13 years old.

You mean sex?

They learn that at school in gr. 5/6.

Originally Posted by CSR

You mean sex?

They learn that at school in gr. 5/6.

I think this is about the right time to go into depth. It's when they start getting into puberty and they can actually relate to what you're telling them.

I know it was about grade 6 when I started to be interested in girls.

Though I think it's reasonable to go into the some of the basics before that.

Even at age 5-6 I think they should know that the baby comes from the loving mother mother, she needs the father to help, etc.

But then again... I'm not a parent... so what do I know?

We plan to answer questions honestly as they come. I'm not sure it will ever be necessary to sit them down and have a long drawn-out talk about things; by the time they're old enough, I'm thinking there will have been plenty of questions asked and answered.

Originally Posted by Xax

We plan to answer questions honestly as they come. I'm not sure it will ever be necessary to sit them down and have a long drawn-out talk about things; by the time they're old enough, I'm thinking there will have been plenty of questions asked and answered.

That is exactly what we have done. It certainly helped that we lived on a working farm for a number of years. Great segways happened thanks to raising livestock. Our kids have pretty much always understood the "mechanics", even in JK/SK. Hard not to when they are helping to deliver calves or artificially inseminate cows. We have always truthfully answered any other related questions with age appropriate answers and expanded the conversations where warranted.

Personally, I believe it's an ongoing conversation that needs to start early. Long before puberty, for sure. Kids today are not like we were as kids. They see so much in the media. Our own daughter is almost 12 and there are girls in her grade 6 class that dress like 19 yr olds heading to the bar! The MSN names are pretty raunchy as well. The kids seem to be trying to grow up faster then we ever did...

Part of this may be a bit off topic, but give only as much information as a child will understand, no big lectures from A to Z cuz you'll lose them. When the questions start coming, then start answering, every child is different. You may have a 4 year old asking and they don't need much to satisfy their curiosity where as an older child should be able to absorb more. They don't need to know the mechanics of insemination at an early age, but by grade 2,3,4 you have to be careful because there's alot of kids that do know so the information is better coming from a parent.

Now, one thing that people should always do is call the body parts by their proper names, not make up some fluffy stuff. eg. A penis is a penis and a vagina is a vagina. This plays into the sexual abuse arena, kids have to know what the body parts are, and that certain parts are private and that no one should be touching them there or doing anything that will make them feel uncomfortable. Depending on the age of the child and when they start asking the questions, you may be able to touch on both areas at the same time. I really feel they have to be aware of this type information by the time they start school.

Originally Posted by CSK'sMom

Our own daughter is almost 12 and there are girls in her grade 6 class that dress like 19 yr olds heading to the bar! The MSN names are pretty raunchy as well. The kids seem to be trying to grow up faster then we ever did...

judging by that you have to live in WELLAND haha

Nope Metro, it does say Niagara Falls for my location doesn't it?

Originally Posted by CSK'sMom

Personally, I believe it's an ongoing conversation that needs to start early. Long before puberty, for sure. Kids today are not like we were as kids. They see so much in the media. Our own daughter is almost 12 and there are girls in her grade 6 class that dress like 19 yr olds heading to the bar! The MSN names are pretty raunchy as well. The kids seem to be trying to grow up faster then we ever did...

I agree....we are quite open here about all of it, and my dd's know they can ask.
I have to admit though my oldest has for two years in a row conveniently been 'sick' when it's been addressed at school. I am thrilled it embarrasses her!!

So many little girls are growing up so fast these days, I blame the lack of supervision and internet access on that.

I plan to educate them, but continue to relish in their innocence!

Originally Posted by 3weddings

So many little girls are growing up so fast these days, I blame the lack of supervision and internet access on that.

I plan to educate them, but continue to relish in their innocence!

This has definitely been our experience with our daughter's classmates! The ones we have had experiences with their parents especially. They have no idea what their kids are doing at school, at home or on the net. I regularly go through all our kids MSN logs as well as their friends lists. When I see 12 yr old's using names like "I like to give BJ and swallow" I am mortified and baffled at the same time. Where are the parents and why don't they know their kids are behaving in such a way?

Originally Posted by CSK'sMom

Nope Metro, it does say Niagara Falls for my location doesn't it?

lot of Wellander's put NF or say they are from NF to avoid ridicule from people hahaha. I live in toronto now but believe me when people ask where i grew up I say NF instead of Welland! haha

I heard a sex trade worker was found murdered in Vineland... 5th one in a while... I remember they found a womans body off in PT robinson between NF and Welland by that hells angels HQ.

Originally Posted by CSK'sMom

This has definitely been our experience with our daughter's classmates! The ones we have had experiences with their parents especially. They have no idea what their kids are doing at school, at home or on the net. I regularly go through all our kids MSN logs as well as their friends lists. When I see 12 yr old's using names like "I like to give BJ and swallow" I am mortified and baffled at the same time. Where are the parents and why don't they know their kids are behaving in such a way?

isn't this kinda invading your kid's privacy? if your kid finds out what you been doing, they wont EVER trust you again.

back in grade 5/6 health class we learned about it in school and everybody would just laugh hysterically at the sight of an *AHEM* you-kno-what. i think my parents actually started talking to me about it in grade 9/10, not like.. sitting down talking about sex, but just about the consequences of it and stuff like that.