When friends attack

Over the weekend an argument with a friend escaladed into a physical attack on myself and I wanted some insight on what I should do or should have done in this situation.

Some background

I'm with three friends at the beginning of the night, all close friends of mine. I make plans to go to a club with two of them and the other has a different venue to go to but wants us to join him. I drive downtown drop my one friend off at his destination because he needed a ride. I proceed to the club with my two friends but it turns out it was guest-list only and we couldn't get in. We try a different club and the line was about 40 people and wasn't moving at all so we leave there as well. We decide to meet up with the other friend who is at a bar. Finally get to the bar and right before we are about to get a drink the fire alarm goes off and everyone has to leave.

I’m pretty pissed off at this point at the way the night has unfolded. We all go back to my car and the one friend who was at the bar the whole time starts telling us how we are all idiots because we didn’t join him at the start and keep in mind he had been drinking at this point. I proceed to ask why we were idiots as the night was unpredictable. He starts asking how the clubs we went to were in a sarcastic manner knowing that we didn’t get in. I’m fed up at this point so I tell him to get out of the car because I’m not driving him home. I get out of the car and repeat myself a couple of times and at this point I’m becoming very irate. He bursts out of the back seat slamming my car door against the car next to mine, starts throwing punches and tackles me against the car. I was in so much shock and my phone was in my hand at the time that I wasn’t fighting back at all just defending myself anyway possible. I get thrown to the ground with the phone in my hand breaking my fall and getting all scratched. My other two friends in the car finally get out and break things up. My sweater is ripped and my glasses are bent as a result of the fight. He starts shouting things like “pussy” and “you want to fight me” and I wasn’t even paying attention to him because I was so rattled about my new phone getting scratched. I get back in the car and my other two friends go and talk to him. He ends up taking a cab home and I go home with my two other friends.

What would you do in a situation like this? Do you fight your good friend back?

Even if there is an apology I don’t think I can be friends with this person anymore…I just have no desire to.

What would you do after the fact?

Well, I guess it depends on the friend in this situation.

Is he normally a confrontational and violent person? If so, I'd cut him, since it is entirely possible something like this could happen again.

If he isn't normally aggressive, is he aggressive when drunk? If so, I would only hang out with him while he is sober.

Quite frankly, I probably would fight him back if it had come down to that point.

If he were my friend and ever hoped to speak to me again, more than an apology would be required. I'd be expecting him to pay for the damage he caused, including any damage to your car, and the cost of repairing your glasses or new frames.

I dunno...kinda seems like you started it a bit...why the **** would you throw your friend out of your car for just being a bit sarcastic?

I'd have kicked your ass but maybe if you apology I'd consider hanging out again....I dunno...

Originally Posted by ullyeus

I dunno...kinda seems like you started it a bit...why the **** would you throw your friend out of your car for just being a bit sarcastic?

I'd have kicked your ass but maybe if you apology I'd consider hanging out again....I dunno...

+1 he should of said y so srs? instead

This guy was supposedly your good friend yet you threw him out of your car because he called you and your other friends idiots along with being sarcastic? I mean you knew he had a few drinks in him and it was most likely clouding his judgment and what he was saying, seems like you overreacted. Not only that but when he called you guys idiots he was not directing it at you only but to all three of you yet you took it as a personal insult from a drunk guy. If you can't get past your drunk friend calling you an idiot and being sarcastic then I doubt you guys were truly close friends to begin with. As far as fighting back is concerned I would have knocked him on his ass as soon as he put his hands on me. It sounds like you just let him beat on you while your other friends had to protect you. You could have handled the situation much better by just throwing back a friendly joke after he called you guys an idiot or could have been sarcastic back at him to shut him up.

Originally Posted by ullyeus

I dunno...kinda seems like you started it a bit...why the **** would you throw your friend out of your car for just being a bit sarcastic?

I'd have kicked your ass but maybe if you apology I'd consider hanging out again....I dunno...

lol yeah, be his verbal punching bag.


Wait for him to apologize. If you can drop him that easily though sounds like you're not to close to begin with. But that's what it depends on, how close you are.

The phone's not a big deal, it'll have gotten scratched eventually, it's just a material object.

Wow, sounds like you have the issues. Your friend was drinking (maybe even drunk), and you threaten to throw him out of the car. Sounds like your fuse wick was cut down because of your evening out and you were waiting on someone to light it so you can finally blow. Don't blame your drunk friend who would likely not have said things in the manner he said if he wasn't drinking.

Looks like you couldn't handle the comments b/c you're too uptight.

He had a good time while you guys were out waiting in line the whole night, so he decided to rub it in your faces since he asked you guys to join in the first place. Don't know if he did that with malice or just cuz he had braggin rights, but you escalated it further by kicking him out.

If you guys would have at least fought, you both could have gotten all your agressions out, and then go to the beer store for some cold ones, and laugh at what stupid night it turned out to be. Instead you were more worried about your phone, sweater and glasses, which (no offense) makes you sound like a metrosexual.


What can you do now? I dunno, wait for one of those sappy 30 min tv show endings to happen?

I'm the first to admit I overreacted to his comments because of the irritable state I was in...I'm floored that the people on this board are defending physical violence because I overreacted

I'm actually sorry I posted this looking for some intelligent insight

I should have known better

Originally Posted by Phr3sh

...I get out of the car and repeat myself a couple of times and at this point I’m becoming very irate. He bursts out of the back seat slamming my car door against the car next to mine, starts throwing punches and tackles me against the car...

Did you at least leave a note for the owner of the car you damaged. If not, you just did a hit and run.

Anyway, he was a close friend, you kicked him out meaning you wanted him to walk home drunk, meaning you didn't care what could happens to him, i.e. robbed, kidnapped, shanked, or even pantsed. Really don't see you as a good friend. Just my personal opinion on what I've read.

Well, as you guys like to say 'boys will be boys'. By next week you'll have forgotten about this or be laughing about it.

Drinking isn't an excuse for that kind of stuff. You are not all of a sudden not responsible for your actions when you are drunk.

Even if the OP was snapping a bit to easily, that's no reason for someone who is supposed to be your friend to hurt you physically. Sometimes my friends are in a bad mood, and I just deal with it, walk away and let them cool down.

I wouldn't advise you to go back and fight him now, because honestly, if you were the kind of guy who would win that fight, you would have hit him back in the first fight. You can probably accept that people make dumb choices sometimes, but if I were you I would definitely be waiting for him to pay you back for all the damage he caused before considering being friends with him again.

Originally Posted by Nikita

Well, as you guys like to say 'boys will be boys'. By next week you'll have forgotten about this or be laughing about it.

That is precisely what I thought as I read the first post.

If you are concerned, don't socialize with him anymore.

Originally Posted by BornRuff

Drinking isn't an excuse for that kind of stuff. You are not all of a sudden not responsible for your actions when you are drunk.

Even if the OP was snapping a bit to easily, that's no reason for someone who is supposed to be your friend to hurt you physically. Sometimes my friends are in a bad mood, and I just deal with it, walk away and let them cool down.

I agree, but to kick out a close friend who's drunk at night, with a possibility of picking fights with other aggressive drunk individuals, is not going to end up pretty.

I would'nt mind if the OP even retaliates and knocks out the drunk friend, at long as the OP still drives him home and at least knows he gets home safely rather than leave the drunk friend wandering the streets at night, picking fights.

Originally Posted by Coolisme

Did you at least leave a note for the owner of the car you damaged. If not, you just did a hit and run.

Anyway, he was a close friend, you kicked him out meaning you wanted him to walk home drunk, meaning you didn't care what could happens to him, i.e. robbed, kidnapped, shanked, or even pantsed. Really don't see you as a good friend. Just my personal opinion on what I've read.

and let's not forget we are hearing only his side of the story as well...