Spanking/Hitting Intervention

I was at the mall this weekend and was pretty appauled to see a mother jostle her kid (probably about 5-6 years old) and proceed to slap her really hard on the arm 2-3 times. I went to get mall security to intervene.

This was the second time I had to do something like this.

I never physically discipline my two boys, so I don't take well to seeing others doing it.

Some of these parents hit hard, not just little taps, I am talking potential damage hard.

Have you or would you ever intervene if someone was hitting a child?

Originally Posted by direct-x

I was at the mall this weekend and was pretty appauled to see a mother jostle her kid (probably about 5-6 years old) and proceed to slap her really hard on the arm 2-3 times. I went to get mall security to intervene.

This was the second time I had to do something like this.

I never physically discipline my two boys, so I don't take well to seeing others doing it.

Some of these parents hit hard, not just little taps, I am talking potential damage hard.

Have you or would you ever intervene if someone was hitting a child?

HELL YES!! It is completely unacceptable to punish anyone or anything with physical violence. Creating fear (in any way) is not a good thing in the development of animals, and I would naturally assume children.

I'd like to go hit that parent and see if that teaches them not to hit their kid.

I've seen, on a few occasions, the results of abuse and nothing good could ever come of it. If this parent thinks this is anything other than abuse they need to have their kids taken away from them.

Just because you don't do it doesn't make it wrong. The law allows spanking, it has been challenged in the courts and upheld.

If someone tried to interfere with how I raised my kids, I would be angry.

Are you a doctor? Can you asertain the "potential damage" from a brief a look?

Did mall security laugh at you when you reported someone smacking their kids?

Worry about your own kids.

Originally Posted by bionicbadger

Just because you don't do it doesn't make it wrong. The law allows spanking, it has been challenged in the courts and upheld.

If someone tried to interfere with how I raised my kids, I would be angry.

Are you a doctor? Can you asertain the "potential damage" from a brief a look?

Did mall security laugh at you when you reported someone smacking their kids?

Worry about your own kids.

Like I said, these were very firm smacks, not the type to get the kids attention, but the type that will easily turn skid red and bruise. They echoed for how hard the kid was hit. Not too mention the jostling which could not be healthy for the child. If you jostled an infant like that, you could cause sever trauma to the head and even death.

Why would you be angry? Because someone with common sense knows that hitting a child is wrong? Because they are intervening and disrupting the abusive behaviour?

Mall security did not laugh, and actually took the matter very seriously as I was not the only one too step up. Others who witnessed the act also gave details to the mall official.

Originally Posted by bionicbadger

Just because you don't do it doesn't make it wrong. The law allows spanking, it has been challenged in the courts and upheld.

If someone tried to interfere with how I raised my kids, I would be angry.

Are you a doctor? Can you asertain the "potential damage" from a brief a look?

Did mall security laugh at you when you reported someone smacking their kids?

Worry about your own kids.

I agree, however if you reread the OP you'll see that he said "really hard". We're not talking about spanking, we're talking about hitting, and a child cannot defend themselves from that.

And I do worry about my own kids.

No one should hit kids period.. If I see it, I'll let you know and chances are when you see me you'll not have anything to say, they won't let me hit an adult so why should I be able to hit a kid?.. It's absolutely the laziest way of teaching and punishing a child.

I remember one time I was at camp when I was a young teenager.
I saw a mom hitting her 3 -5 year old son along a dirt road.
I believe she was hitting him for falling on the ground and getting dirty.
Now the hitting wasn't extremely hard but it wasn't light either.
It was the type that was a solid hit to the back. Enough to make the child cry.
Being a young teen, I said, "Hey stop that! You don't have to hit him you know. If you didn't like what he did, why don't you tell him?!"
Then suddenly, the mom's fury that her kid changes towards me.
She started yelling and screaming and swearing at me like I wronged and offended her.
At least I distracted her from continuing to hit the kid, but I swore I would never interfere again.

Originally Posted by canadiankorean

I remember one time I was at camp when I was a young teenager.
I saw a mom hitting her 3 -5 year old son along a dirt road.
I believe she was hitting him for falling on the ground and getting dirty.
Now the hitting wasn't extremely hard but it wasn't light either.
It was the type that was a solid hit to the back. Enough to make the child cry.
Being a young teen, I said, "Hey stop that! You don't have to hit him you know. If you didn't like what he did, why don't you tell him?!"
Then suddenly, the mom's fury that her kid changes towards me.
She started yelling and screaming and swearing at me like I wronged and offended her.
At least I distracted her from continuing to hit the kid, but I swore I would never interfere again.

Great parent...hitting a KID for getting dirty..."Oh yes mommy I purposely fell down just to get dirty and piss you off"....and the screaming and swearing in front of the kid...lovely environment the child is in! IMO anyone who didn't say anything deserves a smack themselves!

I think there's a fine line between discipline and abuse. A lap on the hands or the tush is ok, but anywhere on the head or torso I would consider abuse. I cringe at people beating their kids in public.

My wife and I both grow up with our own assigned "wipping sticks". I guess that's just a first generation immigrant thing: http://youtube.com/watch?v=xzKHQX59Wso

Originally Posted by Jonavin

I cringe at people beating their kids in public.

Yes, save the beatings for private. It doesn't matter where abuse takes place, or what kind of abuse it is, until we as a society make it completely unacceptable and stand up for those who can't stand up for themselves, it will keep happening.

Originally Posted by mrcantrell

Yes, save the beatings for private. It doesn't matter where abuse takes place, or what kind of abuse it is, until we as a society make it completely unacceptable and stand up for those who can't stand up for themselves, it will keep happening.

Don't twist my quote out of context. I was not suggesting that people beat their kids in private. There are ways to control your kids without resorting to violence. My original point is that kid beating is more of a first generation immigrant thing.

Originally Posted by Diamondog

No one should hit kids period.. If I see it, I'll let you know and chances are when you see me you'll not have anything to say, they won't let me hit an adult so why should I be able to hit a kid?.. It's absolutely the laziest way of teaching and punishing a child.

This whole issue seems to have turned into a witch hunt. Obviously, consistently beating a child will have a detrimental effect on their development. But humans are fairly resilient and the occasional physical punishment of a healthy child is to be expected. Child education and assessment are issues that I would consider to have a much greater effect on the healthy development of children in our society. But no one is out confronting parents when they don’t read to their children before they go to bed.

Spanking/hitting children has been proven to be effective between the ages of 2-5, when and a child’s ability to understand complex ideas are limited. The spanking represents a quick clear message that what the child has just done is wrong. This of course must be accompanied by an explanation to the child if this is a new offence. But when the child has repeated a wrong doing and gets spanked they will immediately recognize that they were punished in this matter last time for doing something similar.

“Laziest way of teaching a child”? Maybe. I would say that doing something that is quick and effective is smart. There are situation where people simply do not have the time to sit down with the kids pull them away from what is distracting them and give them a ten minute lesson.

An adult is a fully grown individual who should know the consequences of his/her actions. If they don’t we have a police system to hit-punish them for you. While a child is developing they don’t have these same skills and rely on adults manly parents to guide and teach them as they continue to grow.

I've decided that I will spank in serious cases, am very conscientious of the fine line between discipline and abuse, and am accustomed to there being a lot of people who disagree with my point of view and would vilify me for it (no matter; I will do what I believe is best for my children). On the other hand, I know that there are parents who abuse their children in the name of discipline, and I would absolutely notify the authorities if I witnessed abuse. It makes me uneasy to consider how that woman might "discipline" her children in private.

When parents are abusive, that overrides the "let me parent the way I want to" plea, and I won't lose any sleep if I assist in having the custodial rights of abusive parents taken away from them.

I agree with Impala on this one.

At times, a smack (certainly not excessive or near "important" areas) may be a reasonable approach to discipline.

You can't explain everything to children. If a "We don't do that, it's wrong" suffices, great. Your child respects you and what you say and won't do it on account of you saying not to.

If that doesn't work I think a "Do that again and I'll spank your bottom" is justified. Say it's wrong, but add that extra incentive not to.

If that still doesn't work, I think I would tempt my child.

While certainly difficult to decipher and draw the line for others, I would never hit my child out of anger for them doing something, rather as a last resort to teach them what things are unacceptable.

Disclaimer: I am not a parent ;p

no comment.