my dad gets angry/mad when my mom goes to her friend ... what to do?

One day in the week (during the weekend) once or twice a month my mom usually plans (occasionally last minutes decisions) and go out with her friends because usually on saturdays and sundays my parents stay home and do nothing if their chorus are finished.

Most of the time when she goes out my dad always ask the same questions again and again, "Why do you always go out with your friends, what about your sons?" and my dad asked me after she leaves "why does she always goes out with her friends?" and I usually answer "because you get to go out with your friends, so i think she should be able to" and then gets angry at me and doesn't talk to me for the rest of the night. Then when my mom comes home he biatches about how she comes home late ... (my dad does that too when he goes to his friends). My mom agures the why does he gets to go out couple times a month and she doesn't. He then always say he leave if she keeps doing this and my mom says "fine leave, I get no freedom living with you anyways" then he ends up going to my uncles house to stay and come back home then next day (which everything goes back to normal).


What can I do in this situation to get my dad stop acting like this everytime? because I went with my mom one time (her friend has a dinner parties and had my favorite food) or just dropping her off and all the do there is meet with old friends from school or back home and just talk about anythings and enjoying life with others.

also how do i stop with my dad's anger management?

Prepare yourself for some ignorant posts...

Your parents are adults and you should not interfere in this situation. This is something your mom and dad have to resolve themselves and there is nothing you could do to change the situation. Stay out of it...and don't worry too much.

Originally Posted by boneca

Your parents are adults and you should not interfere in this situation. This is something your mom and dad have to resolve themselves and there is nothing you could do to change the situation. Stay out of it...and don't worry too much.

Truth be told, a person can only change if they want to change. Someone who is persistently angry and incorrigible won't change if someone wants them to - they'll just get worse.

Still, I agree with boneca in that this issue between your parents (though personally, it seems to be an issue that your dad has) should stay that way - between your parents. I don't even agree with your dad going over to your uncle's place as it indirectly drags them into this mess. The mess can only be solved, IMHO, by all those directly involved in making the mess - namely, your parents.

If you feel the need to do anything, the most you can do is to just be there for your mother, ya know, spend time with her when the opportunity comes up. At most, this'll indicate to her that if she needs somebody, you'll be there for her. She may not need anyone to help her, but like most folks, it'll be good to know that there is someone there for her (symbolic gesture of support, if you will).

Lastly, know your limits. Although you're siding with your mother now, your mother may reach the point where she leans on you too much. Too much leaning will put you in a stressful predicament. And if you're in a stressful situation, every part of your life suffers. You have to recognize that much. 'Sides, can't help anyone else if you can't help yourself. And helping yourself starts with knowing your limits. So help her, indirectly, all you want but know when to stop.

...hope that last paragraph makes sense.

Maybe your father is not that trusting, I know how you may feel like you want to do something to help the situation. Try asking both parents individually how you feel about this situation and see if there sensitive about it. Maybe your mom should have her friends over at your house one night to show that there's nothing wrong going on when your mom goes out.

get a russian g/f and you won't have to worry about it.
OR
get your dad a korean g/f and I'm sure he wont mind when your mom leaves.

Shouldnt be that hard with the GENIUS threads we have

Originally Posted by boneca

Your parents are adults and you should not interfere in this situation. This is something your mom and dad have to resolve themselves and there is nothing you could do to change the situation. Stay out of it...and don't worry too much.

I know I shouldn't interfere but it makes me feel sad that they are arguing alot more than before and I love both my parents very much and I don't want their relationship to be ruined because of some "stupid" thing. They have been married for roughly 35 years and me remember living with them through my child hood through the end of high school, (live in dorm during college and home during summer), my dad was an easy going person and some how now this new attitude came and more "angrier". I am thinking it's coming into his old age grumpiness.

Info. about my dad:
My dad is currently 59 years old and have his own work at home business selling toner cartridge, printers, servicing printers and such with them.

My mom is more of a relax person and don't really mind thing.

Originally Posted by Fluid

get your dad a korean g/f and I'm sure he wont mind when your mom leaves.

Can someone shed some light on me about this korean gf joke i hear abt in so many OT threads?

Originally Posted by jeeva86

Can someone shed some light on me about this korean gf joke i hear abt in so many OT threads?

Theres a thread with someone asking how to get a korean gf.

Originally Posted by win-star

I know I shouldn't interfere but it makes me feel sad that they are arguing alot more than before and I love both my parents very much and I don't want their relationship to be ruined because of some "stupid" thing. They have been married for roughly 35 years and me remember living with them through my child hood through the end of high school, (live in dorm during college and home during summer), my dad was an easy going person and some how now this new attitude came and more "angrier". I am thinking it's coming into his old age grumpiness.

Info. about my dad:
My dad is currently 59 years old and have his own work at home business selling toner cartridge, printers, servicing printers and such with them.

My mom is more of a relax person and don't really mind thing.

Do you mind if I ask what your ethnicity is? Because ethnicity and culture has alot to do with this I find.

In any case, your dad is 59 years old - i'm assuming your mom is the similar age or a bit less? Don't worry, they won't leave each other. It's very rare too especially when its hard to find "another" partner when you are that old. I would say its a late-life crisis.

My dad gets pissed off sometimes too when my mom goes and does her own thing and doesn't include my dad in her events. But at the end of the day, my dad has no choice and he cools his temper (after realizing he's being dumb), and my mom just tries to be not frustrated with my dad being angry all the time lol.

Hey it's not as bad as my dad yelling at my mother for seeing her mother once a week!

Originally Posted by jeeva86

Can someone shed some light on me about this korean gf joke i hear abt in so many OT threads?

It's turned into an RFD in-house internet meme.

Your dad is selfish, tell him. You can also spend time with him while your mum is out, so that he isn't alone. Alternate that with giving him a chore, or needing his help in a project. Make your mum being out an "opportunity" for you and your dad to get things done around the house.

Originally Posted by jeeva86

Can someone shed some light on me about this korean gf joke i hear abt in so many OT threads?

knock yourself out:
http://www.redflagdeals.com/forums/s...d.php?t=755691

and while you're at it, you may as well check out:
http://www.redflagdeals.com/forums/s...d.php?t=780381

Your dad acts like he's 15