A Letter from Michael Moore

(Moore's Bowling for Columbine is predicted to win best documentary at the
Academy awards)

Monday, March 17, 2003
A Letter from Michael Moore to George W. Bush on the Eve of War

George W. Bush
1600 Pennsylvania Ave.
Washington, DC

Dear Governor Bush:
So today is what you call "the moment of truth," the day that "France
and the rest of world have to show their cards on the table." I'm glad to
hear that this day has finally arrived. Because, I gotta tell ya, having
survived 440 days of your lying and conniving, I wasn't sure if I could
take much more. So I'm glad to hear that today is Truth Day, 'cause I
got a few truths I would like to share with you:

1. There is virtually NO ONE in America (talk radio nutters and Fox News
aside) who is gung-ho to go to war. Trust me on this one. Walk out of
the White House and on to any street in America and try to find five people
who are PASSIONATE about wanting to kill Iraqis. YOU WON'T FIND THEM!
Why? 'Cause NO Iraqis have ever come here and killed any of us! No Iraqi has
even threatened to do that. You see, this is how we average Americans
think: If a certain so-and-so is not perceived as a threat to our lives,
then, believe it or not, we don't want to kill him! Funny how that works!

2. The majority of Americans -- the ones who never elected you -- are
not fooled by your weapons of mass distraction. We know what the real issues
are that affect our daily lives -- and none of them begin with I or end in
Q. Here's what threatens us: two and a half million jobs lost since you
took office, the stock market having become a cruel joke, no one knowing
if their retirement funds are going to be there, gas now costs almost
two dollars -- the list goes on and on. Bombing Iraq will not make any of
this go away. Only you need to go away for things to improve.

3. As Bill Maher said last week, how bad do you have to suck to lose a
popularity contest with Saddam Hussein? The whole world is against you,
Mr. Bush. Count your fellow Americans among them.

4. The Pope has said this war is wrong, that it is a SIN. The Pope! But
even worse, the Dixie Chicks have now come out against you! How bad does
it have to get before you realize that you are an army of one on this
war? Of course, this is a war you personally won't have to fight. Just like
when you went AWOL while the poor were shipped to Vietnam in your place.

5. Of the 535 members of Congress, only ONE (Sen. Johnson of South
Dakota) has an enlisted son or daughter in the armed forces! If you really want
to stand up for America, please send your twin daughters over to Kuwait
right now and let them don their chemical warfare suits. And let's see every
member of Congress with a child of military age also sacrifice their
kids for this war effort. What's that you say? You don't THINK so? Well, hey,
guess what -- we don't think so either!

6. Finally, we love France. Yes, they have pulled some royal screw-ups.
Yes, some of them can pretty damn annoying. But have you forgotten we
wouldn't even have this country known as America if it weren't for the
French? That it was their help in the Revolutionary War that won it for
us? That our greatest thinkers and founding fathers -- Thomas Jefferson,
Ben Franklin, etc. -- spent many years in Paris where they refined the
concepts that lead to our Declaration of Independence and our
Constitution? That it was France who gave us our Statue of Liberty, a
Frenchman who built the Chevrolet, and a pair of French brothers who
invented the movies? And now they are doing what only a good friend can
do -- tell you the truth about yourself, straight, no b.s. Quit pissing on
the French and thank them for getting it right for once. You know, you
really should have traveled more (like once) before you took over. Your
ignorance of the world has not only made you look stupid, it has painted
you into a corner you can't get out of.

Well, cheer up -- there IS good news. If you do go through with this
war, more than likely it will be over soon because I'm guessing there aren't
a lot of Iraqis willing to lay down their lives to protect Saddam Hussein.
After you "win" the war, you will enjoy a huge bump in the popularity
polls as everyone loves a winner -- and who doesn't like to see a good
ass-whoopin' every now and then (especially when it 's some third world
ass!). So try your best to ride this victory all the way to next year's
election. Of course, that's still a long ways away, so we'll all get to
have a good hardy-har-har while we watch the economy sink even further
down the toilet!

But, hey, who knows -- maybe you'll find Osama a few days before the
election! See, start thinking like THAT! Keep hope alive! Kill Iraqis --
they got our oil!!

Yours,

Michael Moore
www.michaelmoore.com

Hehe I'm not for war but those are some pretty shallow arguments he's got there, I would be embarassed to have that published.

Hehe I'm not for war but those are some pretty shallow arguments he's got there, I would be embarassed to have that published.

He's more of an entertainer than an intellectual... I'm sure his goal was not to have a rock solid argument against Bush, but just to present the other side in a light manner.

Ahhh.. It guess he is poking fun at pacifists more than warmongers with that

those are some pretty shallow arguments he's got there

Since you consider job safety, religion, and the safety of your family to be "shallow," is there ANYTHING you consider "deep"?

Since you consider job safety, religion, and the safety of your family to be "shallow," is there ANYTHING you consider "deep"?

I agree with Grant on this one. Moore seemed to be on the money with this one.

Since you consider job safety, religion, and the safety of your family to be "shallow," is there ANYTHING you consider "deep"?

How about not talking about the late night say anything doofus Bill Maher, the Dixie Chicks, or the France/Statue of Liberty/Chevrolet relationship? Is he supposed to not have USA go to war because the Pope said it is bad? Maybe I could take the whole letter seriously if he didn't resort to such silliness.

Speaking of war: has anyone purchased any military tied stocks? My broker is telling me it's too late. But i'm thinking this war isn't gonna be as short as the previous two.

Is he supposed to not have USA go to war because the Pope said it is bad?  Maybe I could take the whole letter seriously if he didn't resort to such silliness.

I see.

How about not talking about the late night say anything doofus Bill Maher, the Dixie Chicks, or the France/Statue of Liberty/Chevrolet relationship? Is he supposed to not have USA go to war because the Pope said it is bad? Maybe I could take the whole letter seriously if he didn't resort to such silliness.

I think Moore has it bang-on. By pandering to the common denominator of society with his sarcasm, he's showing how ridiculous things are with how the US is proceeding with their "war".

I think Moore has it bang-on.  By pandering to the common denominator of society with his sarcasm, he's showing how ridiculous things are with how the US is proceeding with their "war".

I guess I could see it that way if I change my paradigm.. The reasons for war are ridiculous so use ridiculous reasons to counter them.

I guess I could see it that way if I change my paradigm.. The reasons for war are ridiculous so use ridiculous reasons to counter them.

Exactly.... when the government starts advising people to rename French Fries, "freedom" fries, they must be hurting for a real reason to go to war.

Sure, they renamed saurkraut "liberty cabbage" in the '40s (but probably not until the US got their lazy asses involved).... but for good reason; the Nazis were evil. But the French? And because they don't support Bush's trigger-happy policy? Please.

Thanks for posting. Moore always has entertaining ways of presenting important issues.

I happen to agree with the general tone of his letter.

Dear Governor Bush:  

Why is it Governor? Shouldn't it be President?

Why is it Governor? Shouldn't it be President?

Because Michael Moore doesn't believe GWB was elected to the position of POTUS.