Ethics Question# 3: What Do You Think

similar to the other thread http://forums.redflagdeals.com/showthread.php?t=166575

READ THIS FIRST POST COMPLETELY, DECIDE WHAT YOUR RESPONSE WILL BE, POST YOUR RESPONSE IF POSSIBLE
READ OTHERS' RESPONSES ONLY AFTER YOU HAVE MADE A DECISION ON YOUR OWN
DISCUSS
the response of new york times' ethicist (randy cohen) posted in post # 14 below
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case-3
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I am a 20-year-old college student who was involved in a long-distance relationship with a woman who goes to college in another state. Late last summer, she bought a plane ticket to visit me. I decided to break up with her one week before the visit, which she of course decided not to make. Should I have reimbursed her for her $200 plane ticket? Anonymous, Massachusetts

The correct answer is: Don't break up with her until AFTER the visit, dimwit. Then you don't have to worry about the money situation, and you've got some new material to sell to the voyeur-sites.







now, now....you know I'm joking.

No ... unless she asks for that. In that case, I would. However, if the price tag is not $200 but $2000, I probably will try to avoid that.

no.

no

If it were me, since I called it off I would feel guilty and probably give her some money if she couldn't refund her ticket.

I would atleast offer to pay her back, maybe she would say no its ok.

first poster was right, shoulda broke up after, you coulda possibly gotten some


and the answer is no, you don't talk to people after you break up with them.

Hmm...that's a very interesting situation. Especially as it deals more with personal ethics/honor than professional ethics, where there will often be some type of written guidelines.

I would say if she can't get a refund, I would at least offer to pay her back. The reason is that I knew she had already purchased a ticket and was coming to visit and I still called it off.

I think more information is needed before I could answer that question.
1) Did you invite or ask her to come visit?
2) How long ago were the plans made and when was the ticket purchased?
3) Is she hot?

Yeah the background is kinda short. Depends how long you been going out and how much your lives were wound together.

With what little there is, you don't 'owe' the reimbursement if you didn't invite her directly or indirectly.

I usually look at situations like this through legality. If the woman sued the guy in small claims court, who would win?

She could argue she only bought the plane ticket, because she wanted to see him (Not for vacationing, etc). If the man just suddenly broke up with her for no reason at all and didn't give her enough advance notice so she can get her ticket refunded, in that case, the man would be at fault.

He can argue that she made the decision to come and see him, and that it was her decission and that he had no part of it. It's not like he asked her to come etc. If the guy showed proof that the relationship was already deteriorating and he asked her specicailly not to come visit, in that case, the woman was at fault.

The above scenarios are only a scenarios I created as an example. To be able to argue this situation legally, we would have to require more information of what happened between the man and the woman.

Although not all legaility = morality, I believe the current laws covering situations such as this are up to date with the modern standards of morality.

If they asked, I would offer to split the cost of the ticket with them...



(Relationships should be 50:50 moneywise - unless you're on some kinda power trip.)

response of nytimes ethicist (randy cohen):

You should have paid the $200. Your ex-girlfriend, like all of us, shoulders some risk in a romance, but her understandable reluctance to use the ticket is a direct result of your actions. And beyond this narrow calculation, it is wise to be insanely generous in your romantic life, even when a relationship turns sour. Ethics limns the minimum acceptable behavior, but romance should call forth our best. Take the high road here; you'll be glad you did. Nobody ever looks back on his conduct in a love affair and berates himself for being too kind.