In debt for 11k! Please help!!!

[babygh0st]

Hi. My boyfriend currently owes about 11k in credit card debts.

When he turned 18, his mother had asked him to let her use his credit card and he naively agreed since she said she would pay all the money back on time. His mother used his credit card on her own personal business and have managed to get him in debt for over 7k + interests. My boyfriend had asked his mom many times to pay it back but she refuses. He is now 20 and cannot attend university as a full time because OSAP won't give him money due to his credit. He doesn't have any valuable assets and currently works part-time for around $800 a month. He has been left with no choice to take 1 to 2 courses each semester since he has to pay his tuition by himself.

It really saddens me to see him in a such hopeless situation. If he keep doing this, it will take him more than 10 years to get a university degree!

He had thought about paying it back on his own but I really don't think that's realistic and think his mom should be responsible for these debts.

What options does he have right now? Would it be a wise choice for him to declare bankruptcy? How can he get these debts off his back? Any help is appreciated!

[e1e0n]

OMG, where is the world going to. His mother is #$%#$%.

Tell him to sue her.

Hi. My boyfriend currently owes about 11k in credit card debts.

When he turned 18, his mother had asked him to let her use his credit card and he naively agreed since she said she would pay all the money back on time. His mother used his credit card on her own personal business and have managed to get him in debt for over 7k + interests. My boyfriend had asked his mom many times to pay it back but she refuses. He is now 20 and cannot attend university as a full time because OSAP won't give him money due to his credit. He doesn't have any valuable assets and currently works part-time for around $800 a month. He has been left with no choice to take 1 to 2 courses each semester since he has to pay his tuition by himself.

It really saddens me to see him in a such hopeless situation. If he keep doing this, it will take him more than 10 years to get a university degree!

He had thought about paying it back on his own but I really don't think that's realistic and think his mom should be responsible for these debts.

What options does he have right now? Would it be a wise choice for him to declare bankruptcy? How can he get these debts off his back? Any help is appreciated!

[4flava]

Man, it's hard to believe that ones mother would screw their son over that way.

I have no suggestions but good luck. Bankruptcy seems like his only way out or do you think he can take his mother to court?.. I'm sure someone else would be able to help.

[sslinn]

Bankruptcy? No! Sue mom and her business, yes!

Or just work hard and long to pay it off.

[simms]

If he declares bankruptcy, isn't that even worse for his credit? And over 10K?

Sue?

[dmitri81]

Hi. My boyfriend currently owes about 11k in credit card debts.

When he turned 18, his mother had asked him to let her use his credit card and he naively agreed since she said she would pay all the money back on time. His mother used his credit card on her own personal business and have managed to get him in debt for over 7k + interests. My boyfriend had asked his mom many times to pay it back but she refuses. He is now 20 and cannot attend university as a full time because OSAP won't give him money due to his credit. He doesn't have any valuable assets and currently works part-time for around $800 a month. He has been left with no choice to take 1 to 2 courses each semester since he has to pay his tuition by himself.

It really saddens me to see him in a such hopeless situation. If he keep doing this, it will take him more than 10 years to get a university degree!

He had thought about paying it back on his own but I really don't think that's realistic and think his mom should be responsible for these debts.

What options does he have right now? Would it be a wise choice for him to declare bankruptcy? How can he get these debts off his back? Any help is appreciated!

Option 1 - Declare bankruptcy and live with that for 7 years.

Option 2 - Take his mom to small claims court and hope he has enough proof that she is the one who spent the funds and made an agreement to pay it back.

Anyone else have any other ideas? Legal ideas?

[Donomight25]

Hi. My boyfriend currently owes about 11k in credit card debts.

When he turned 18, his mother had asked him to let her use his credit card and he naively agreed since she said she would pay all the money back on time. His mother used his credit card on her own personal business and have managed to get him in debt for over 7k + interests. My boyfriend had asked his mom many times to pay it back but she refuses. He is now 20 and cannot attend university as a full time because OSAP won't give him money due to his credit. He doesn't have any valuable assets and currently works part-time for around $800 a month. He has been left with no choice to take 1 to 2 courses each semester since he has to pay his tuition by himself.

It really saddens me to see him in a such hopeless situation. If he keep doing this, it will take him more than 10 years to get a university degree!

He had thought about paying it back on his own but I really don't think that's realistic and think his mom should be responsible for these debts.

What options does he have right now? Would it be a wise choice for him to declare bankruptcy? How can he get these debts off his back? Any help is appreciated!


See my thread:

http://www.redflagdeals.com/forums/collections-collection-agents-ask-me-anything-809943/

Is the debt in collections?
If so, when was it written off?
What collection company is it with?
How much interest are they charging?
What does your credit look like?

Don't declare banko. No OSAP for sure.
Don't sue his mom. Costs $$ for court, time and effort. Winning in court is easy compared to actually recovering the cash. The courts can only go so far in enforcing a small claims judgment.

[budfrogs]

Option 3 - Take some time off of school. Get either a full-time job or a bunch of part-time jobs and pay it off. If he can earn an extra $1,000 a month delivery pizzas or something you can pay it off in 10 months.

[Psubs]

Have mom run into an "accident" and get life insurance to cover everything. :razz:

... kidding







... maybe






PM me. RORSCHACH!!!!

[thelefteyeguy]

is your bf still breastfeeding? (not from you ;))

[Jon Lai]

I find it hard to believe the mom would do that to the son... something missing here?

[thesk8man]

well i think itd be best if he finds fulltime work and takes time off from uni for one year. pay his debt off and go back to uni full time.

[slavka012]

well i think itd be best if he finds fulltime work and takes time off from uni for one year. pay his debt off and go back to uni full time.

That's easiest way out, I think.

[slavka012]

have managed to get him in debt for over 7k + interests.
By the way, he turned 18 and got a CC for 7K? Or did he had it even before he was 18? Is this normal, cause I find it hard to believe.

[Donomight25]

By the way, he turned 18 and got a CC for 7K? Or did he had it even before he was 18? Is this normal, cause I find it hard to believe.

I had a $10k TD GM card at 19. I got it at 18 for $3k.

Not hard to play with credit working full-time at 18.

[babygh0st]

Thanks for the replies everyone!

Yes, he's mom is a real *******. I know she's making enough money to be able to pay off his debt if she just spend a little bit less and stop living like she's rich when she's not (this woman takes the taxi to work everyday and is a very big spender!).

His credit card was with BMO. His mom used it to mainly renovate her store and buying office supplies. I think there's another credit card with HBC as well.

At this point, I don't think suing is a good choice because he still lives at home.

He is also in the process of appealing to OSAP about his situation and the financial advisor at his school told him his case will probably be accepted because he has all the supporting documents.

I was thinking of the bankruptcy path and live with it for 7 years. He probably won't need to make any loans during his university years and for the years after that, I could help him out because my credit rating is pretty good.

[babygh0st]

By the way, he turned 18 and got a CC for 7K? Or did he had it even before he was 18? Is this normal, cause I find it hard to believe.

His credit card limit was 1k. I have no idea how his mom managed to get so much loan. I had asked him about it and he doesn't know either. But her mom used to be an accountant and apparently, she's very good at scamming the government.

His mom also got his older sister and grandma in debt as well. His older sister can't even get a mortgage right now cause of her situation.

I feel like smacking my boyfriend on the head sometimes for being such an idiot and not learning from his sister's and grandma's experience. SIGH.

[Coolisme]

I guess I'm lucky then. I have a mom that SHOVES me money all the time and I just shove it right back. She already spent a fortune just raising me to adulthood, it's time for me to return the favour.

I don't think you can really blame your boyfriend, his mom raised him (I assume). And raising kids aren't cheap. So there's that underlying obligation to take care of his mom. But yeah, your boyfriend's mom sure has a spending problem. Gotta stop it now before it becomes a spend-crazy mother-in-law for you.

[EdLeafs]

Why would a mother want to do something as evil as this? I don't understand. Is he an adopted child?

[dux]

At this point, I don't think suing is a good choice because he still lives at home.

If he is still living with his mom, meaning he does not have to pay for rent, bills, food, then he can easily save 10k in less than a year.

[Psubs]

If he is still living with his mom, meaning he does not have to pay for rent, bills, food, then he can easily save 10k in less than a year.

Agreed. The not paying back is not the issue, it's just screwing his credit that's wrong.

Hmmmm, maybe the mom loves him too much and wants to keep him at home forever. It's not really too far fetched as it sounds. :D

[babygh0st]

If he is still living with his mom, meaning he does not have to pay for rent, bills, food, then he can easily save 10k in less than a year.

He doesn't need to pay rent but has to pay for everything else(cellphone, metropass & etc). There's barely ever any food at his house cause his family is pretty big and they eat alot so he always end up having to buy his own lunch/dinner.

I really don't want him to work full time to pay off the money he never even touched when he should be concentrating on school at this age. We're both 20 and I am currently in my final year of university while he's still not even half way through. Working full time will only slow him down more and I don't want to wait until I'm 30 for him to finally get his career started.

But say that he does pay the 11k back, wouldn't his credit still be ruined? Or would they wipe it clean from his credit report like none of this ever happened?

I just want him to have a fresh start and a chance to rebuild his credit while he's in school. I think bankruptcy would be the best way right now but I'm not sure if there's any hidden complications to this?

And @EdLeafs: lol no, he's not adopted. His her second child and first son

[budfrogs]

Thanks for the replies everyone!

Yes, he's mom is a real *******. I know she's making enough money to be able to pay off his debt if she just spend a little bit less and stop living like she's rich when she's not (this woman takes the taxi to work everyday and is a very big spender!).

His credit card was with BMO. His mom used it to mainly renovate her store and buying office supplies. I think there's another credit card with HBC as well.

At this point, I don't think suing is a good choice because he still lives at home.

He is also in the process of appealing to OSAP about his situation and the financial advisor at his school told him his case will probably be accepted because he has all the supporting documents.

I was thinking of the bankruptcy path and live with it for 7 years. He probably won't need to make any loans during his university years and for the years after that, I could help him out because my credit rating is pretty good.

If he only had a 1K limit and his mom called/had someone call and pretended to be him to get a higher limit he might be able to get the amount lowered. Because that would be fraud!!

Is he at least making the minimum payments on it now? Has he taken away/canceled the card so his mother can not put anything else on it?

Start taking things from the house and moving it to a storage locker as collateral.... ;)

[budfrogs]

He doesn't need to pay rent but has to pay for everything else(cellphone, metropass & etc). There's barely ever any food at his house cause his family is pretty big and they eat alot so he always end up having to buy his own lunch/dinner.

I really don't want him to work full time to pay off the money he never even touched when he should be concentrating on school at this age. We're both 20 and I am currently in my final year of university while he's still not even half way through. Working full time will only slow him down more and I don't want to wait until I'm 30 for him to finally get his career started.

But say that he does pay the 11k back, wouldn't his credit still be ruined? Or would they wipe it clean from his credit report like none of this ever happened?

I just want him to have a fresh start and a chance to rebuild his credit while he's in school. I think bankruptcy would be the best way right now but I'm not sure if there's any hidden complications to this?

And @EdLeafs: lol no, he's not adopted. His her second child and first son

Declare bankruptcy cleans it up but that isn't going to help his credit and will probably slow down his schooling. It would be better to put schooling on hold and work to pay off the money.

Paying off the debt will help in that he won't have old bad debt lying around anymore but it will still take time to fall off of his credit school. But a bankruptcy will take time to fall off also.

I am sorry he is going through this! I hope he can figure it out. But stopping the bleeding would be the first step. If he is having trouble paying back 10K is taking out full OSAP and getting farther into debt really a good idea?

[fly]

There's a lot of misinformation here..

First of all, declaring bankruptcy doesn't mean you wipe the debt clean. The court can order you to pay in installments so that it's more manageable. The court can also garnish your bf's wages so that each month a certain portion goes to the creditor.

Filing for bankruptcy should be the last thing you do...

Has he taken out a line of credit to lower his interest payment or is he carrying a balance on the credit card? That should be the first thing he does if he hasn't already.

As for his credit rating, it's probably as bad as it'll get. Just pay it back slowly (since suing the mother is out of the question) and hope future lenders will realize it's a small amount (relatively speaking) and that he did pay it off eventually. Imagine if he were to go to a Bank for a mortgage application and his file shows he declared bankruptcy on $10k? Good luck with that!

[slavka012]

His credit card limit was 1k. I have no idea how his mom managed to get so much loan. I had asked him about it and he doesn't know either. But her mom used to be an accountant and apparently, she's very good at scamming the government.

His mom also got his older sister and grandma in debt as well. His older sister can't even get a mortgage right now cause of her situation.

I feel like smacking my boyfriend on the head sometimes for being such an idiot and not learning from his sister's and grandma's experience. SIGH.

Well if his mom is so bad, and he knows it, why did he gave her the CC in the first place? I mean it's just ******** (I can't believe RTARDED is being erased). The young guy has a card with just one 1K limit, why on earth an adult women would even need his card?

Oh, I did not read the second part of your post than I started typing :) Yes he is an idiot and for this reason be very careful with trusting him with YOUR credit.

And what do you mean he does not know how? If he is that thick, can YOU take a look at the CC statements, and see what are the charges. You can also see that the credit limit was increased at some point. I have a feeling he is just playing dumb, and blaming his mother for more than she actually deserves.

[longitude]

http://img691.imageshack.us/img691/7985/moneyv.jpg

[Kami19]

Not hard to play with credit working full-time at 18.

19 full time job good pay also. no exspenses and the bank wouldn't issue me a cc with 500 limit.

[Jon Lai]

19 full time job good pay also. no exspenses and the bank wouldn't issue me a cc with 500 limit.

I think this has something to do wtih the recent recession and credit crisis.

[originalnutta]

how does a 18yr old get a $7K line of credit?

[lhsonic]

http://img691.imageshack.us/img691/7985/moneyv.jpg

LOL.

My personal philosophy is lend if you believe in a person, but don't ever lend access to credit, that's just asking for trouble. Like, if you sue your mother, and (if I read the thread correctly) there's fraud involved, this is about more than just money now- jailtime!

[Mercury048]

I don't think you can really blame your boyfriend, his mom raised him (I assume). And raising kids aren't cheap. So there's that underlying obligation to take care of his mom.
If he is still living with his mom, meaning he does not have to pay for rent, bills, food, then he can easily save 10k in less than a year.
Eh? This kind of thinking is a bizarre and ultimately unworkable theory of how moral obligations form.

A child does not ask to be brought into this world. It is the parent's choice, and therefore the parent's responsibility to see to it that their child have an acceptable life. This means providing food and shelter at minimum.

A child has zero responsiblity towards the parent. Sounds harsh, but a child can't agree to any terms, so no obligation can exist.

If the mother of the OP wants to start charging him rent then thy can form an agreement from that point on, but she cannot just take X amount of cash from him because he "owes her" for his upbringing - he doesn't!

[HBP]

.

A child has zero responsiblity towards the parent. Sounds harsh, but a child can't agree to any terms, so no obligation can exist.


Are you a f*cking robot?


I agree with your other points about the mom not being able to arbitrarily take money from the child, but seriously, no responsibility?

[urameatball]

how does a 18yr old get a $7K line of credit?

I'm curious as well, when I was 18, I struggled to even get approved for a $600 creditcard.



and the op's story is not the worst I've heard. One guy's mom borrowed 10k each from her two kids, then used the family's house to guarantee a HUGE loan. In the process of declaring bankruptcy now, which means the family is losing the house plus the 2 kids are out 6k each (she managed to pay them back some money).

gambling problem... apparently disguised it very well.

[coldpower27]

I'm curious as well, when I was 18, I struggled to even get approved for a $600 creditcard.



and the op's story is not the worst I've heard. One guy's mom borrowed 10k each from her two kids, then used the family's house to guarantee a HUGE loan. In the process of declaring bankruptcy now, which means the family is losing the house plus the 2 kids are out 6k each (she managed to pay them back some money).

gambling problem... apparently disguised it very well.

Wow...

I just don't lend my parents money period...much simpler then this stuff.

[coldpower27]

Are you a f*cking robot?


I agree with your other points about the mom not being able to arbitrarily take money from the child, but seriously, no responsibility?

Well, in the olden days, in certain countries children were the parents pension plan so to speak, because they lacked social security which we have now, where wealth redistribution allows everyone to take care of the old, instead of the kids themselves.

I can agree with some of the posters points, yes the offspring didn't ask to be brought in the world, if you bring a being into the world, your responsible for it till adulthood, otherwise don't bring it into the world, we already have enough messed up people as is, with people who don't have the skills or resources bringing beings that then have miserable lives.

[kitbor]

I don't believe this fairy tale. OP, have enough fun?

[coldpower27]

Hi. My boyfriend currently owes about 11k in credit card debts.

When he turned 18, his mother had asked him to let her use his credit card and he naively agreed since she said she would pay all the money back on time. His mother used his credit card on her own personal business and have managed to get him in debt for over 7k + interests. My boyfriend had asked his mom many times to pay it back but she refuses. He is now 20 and cannot attend university as a full time because OSAP won't give him money due to his credit. He doesn't have any valuable assets and currently works part-time for around $800 a month. He has been left with no choice to take 1 to 2 courses each semester since he has to pay his tuition by himself.

It really saddens me to see him in a such hopeless situation. If he keep doing this, it will take him more than 10 years to get a university degree!

He had thought about paying it back on his own but I really don't think that's realistic and think his mom should be responsible for these debts.

What options does he have right now? Would it be a wise choice for him to declare bankruptcy? How can he get these debts off his back? Any help is appreciated!

The key here is focus, take time off school and pay off the loan in 1 year entirely, even at minimum wage that should be possible if your working full time and living at home, the guy needs to learn how to cook then if he has to buy his own lunch and dinner is he isn't already, or just learn to get to the food in the house quicker.

The split focus here isn't effective. You shouldn't be trying to pay off debts if your in school full time, hence why we have interest free OSAP.

Of course optimal configuration would be his Mom pays back in entirety the money she spent. But rarely do we get optimal.

It's also partly his fault for letting someone else use his credit card, that is just not done no matter the circumstance. I would never allow that. Chalk it up to lesson learned this time and the fact that it's only 11k ish and not 100K or something that would be scarred for life.

[longitude]

http://img22.imageshack.us/img22/2762/pleaseb.jpg

[biee]

Option 4: You help him. Doesn't help much but still...

[PolarBear2k]

Terrible situation. I agree with others that taking time off school and working full time is the best option. Consolidate the debt and work out a manageable monthly payment plan. Get rid of debt asap and move out.

Good luck.

I came across a website that might be helpful http://www.moneyproblems.ca

[yupkime]

I definitely would be wary of having her as a future mother-in-law too ....

[babygh0st]

For people asking how he was able to get such high limit: I just talked to my boyfriend and he said that his mom kept calling BMO and asking them to raise the credit limit. She also withdrew $1000 cash advance on that credit card as well. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.:mad:

And thanks for the replies everyone. I showed him this thread and we're thinking of maybe taking a year off school and just pay everything off. How should we go about doing this? Should we get third party help? I searched up google for this and there's some sites saying that it would be possible for the creditors to wipe away the bad credit report if we pay everything in full. Can we do this in his case?

And also I read there's different ways to pay back your loan(debt consolidation, consumer proposal & etc??). Which one would be the most appropriate in his situation?

[liorsyncro]

Hi. My boyfriend currently owes about 11k in credit card debts.

When he turned 18, his mother had asked him to let her use his credit card and he naively agreed since she said she would pay all the money back on time. His mother used his credit card on her own personal business and have managed to get him in debt for over 7k + interests. My boyfriend had asked his mom many times to pay it back but she refuses. He is now 20 and cannot attend university as a full time because OSAP won't give him money due to his credit. He doesn't have any valuable assets and currently works part-time for around $800 a month. He has been left with no choice to take 1 to 2 courses each semester since he has to pay his tuition by himself.

It really saddens me to see him in a such hopeless situation. If he keep doing this, it will take him more than 10 years to get a university degree!

He had thought about paying it back on his own but I really don't think that's realistic and think his mom should be responsible for these debts.

What options does he have right now? Would it be a wise choice for him to declare bankruptcy? How can he get these debts off his back? Any help is appreciated!
My love there are a lot of variables that go into making the right decision. I don't think bankruptcy would be a wise choice given the amounts he owes. I understand it's hard but the best thing would be to talk to his creditors and get the debts paid. The ones that are already reporting R9 on the bureau would be almost futile to deal with because the R9 would remain even if he pays the debt. My suggestion is get a credit bureau from both Equifax and Transunion to see where he stands. Both of these reports are free of charge and the forms can be downloaded from Equifax Canada and Transunion Canada (make sure you don't get to the US websites). Once you do that, feel free to come back and ask for advice.

[coldpower27]

For people asking how he was able to get such high limit: I just talked to my boyfriend and he said that his mom kept calling BMO and asking them to raise the credit limit. She also withdrew $1000 cash advance on that credit card as well. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.:mad:

And thanks for the replies everyone. I showed him this thread and we're thinking of maybe taking a year off school and just pay everything off. How should we go about doing this? Should we get third party help? I searched up google for this and there's some sites saying that it would be possible for the creditors to wipe away the bad credit report if we pay everything in full. Can we do this in his case?

And also I read there's different ways to pay back your loan(debt consolidation, consumer proposal & etc??). Which one would be the most appropriate in his situation?

For starters, if that credit card still exists don't use it anymore and cut it up, change the passwords on it whatever. In your situation I wouldn't recommend using credit for now.

Just use debit and cash for stuff. Loan consolidation is a great idea, but I don't know if your bf is eligible, his credit probably isn't that good at this point, they may not approve of it. You might be able to get a loan for that amount perhaps and you could help him out if you want. Get a bank loan instead, much lower interest and pay off that credit card in full.

Remove the mother from the list of authorized users if he hasn't done so already.

[King of Clones]

Hi. My boyfriend currently owes about 11k in credit card debts.

When he turned 18, his mother had asked him to let her use his credit card and he naively agreed since she said she would pay all the money back on time. His mother used his credit card on her own personal business and have managed to get him in debt for over 7k + interests. My boyfriend had asked his mom many times to pay it back but she refuses. He is now 20 and cannot attend university as a full time because OSAP won't give him money due to his credit. He doesn't have any valuable assets and currently works part-time for around $800 a month. He has been left with no choice to take 1 to 2 courses each semester since he has to pay his tuition by himself.

It really saddens me to see him in a such hopeless situation. If he keep doing this, it will take him more than 10 years to get a university degree!

He had thought about paying it back on his own but I really don't think that's realistic and think his mom should be responsible for these debts.

What options does he have right now? Would it be a wise choice for him to declare bankruptcy? How can he get these debts off his back? Any help is appreciated!

He's in bad position. One reason never to borrow from a relative.

Mom is not smart financially, either that or don't give a hell. People also make bad decisions. But these things work out

[budfrogs]

For people asking how he was able to get such high limit: I just talked to my boyfriend and he said that his mom kept calling BMO and asking them to raise the credit limit. She also withdrew $1000 cash advance on that credit card as well. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.:mad:

And thanks for the replies everyone. I showed him this thread and we're thinking of maybe taking a year off school and just pay everything off. How should we go about doing this? Should we get third party help? I searched up google for this and there's some sites saying that it would be possible for the creditors to wipe away the bad credit report if we pay everything in full. Can we do this in his case?

And also I read there's different ways to pay back your loan(debt consolidation, consumer proposal & etc??). Which one would be the most appropriate in his situation?

If she only had a secondary card on it she is not allowed to raise the limit or have access to the account. She should only have access to use her secondary card. This might help but you would have to fight with the bank to tell them they shouldn't have raised the limit. If she was on the account as being able to change it than there is not much you can do.

Since it is only 1 debt consolidation wouldn't work as it is already consolidated.

Consumer proposals ding your credit pretty good. And a bunch of the debt management places are at best incompetent at worse scam artists. I would recommend doing it yourself. He just needs to earn as much as he can and put it all onto his debt. (I would recommend getting a $1000 in the bank first for a small emergency fund just in-case something else comes up).

This isn't hopeless! He can work through this and come out a stronger man!

I would highly recommend that you do not pay off his debt or lend him money. This could put a strain on your relationship. Just keep providing support and work together.

[Bookpreviews]

I had a $10k TD GM card at 19. I got it at 18 for $3k.

Not hard to play with credit working full-time at 18.

I had a $5k visa card when I was $15, my parants did not mind :)
I did not spend very much with it though:lol:

It is pretty easy to have credit if you apply thesedays!

Ok,
I hope that your boyfriend also has changed his credit card info, unless he wants his mom to keep ons crewing him over.
If not ic an see the mom just taking out money all the time.

[JeremyB18]

I'm in debt for about the same amount (around 9k).
Does that mean OSAP won't accept me? I had hopes of going on OSAP whenever I'm done my upgrading, what's this ********??
I guess I'll need a good co-signer or something.
Would that work?

(I also took the 10k I had saved and just paid my debt so no the balance is 9k)
With my current job it'll take me years to save it..
Thats why I want to go back to school.
Why does OSAP have to be such *******s?

[beerbaron105]

Find something that pays better than $800 a month

[fly]

And also I read there's different ways to pay back your loan(debt consolidation, consumer proposal & etc??). Which one would be the most appropriate in his situation?

Given the small amount of debt (trust me, I've seen worse), your bf should consider a line of credit. Anything is better than the 19% on the credit card. Bring the credit card statement, bring his pay slip to show he has income and go to every bank in the area and talk to the branch manager.

The line of credit is the best tool for both debt consolidation and consumer proposal.

[DearSummer]

There is something missing from this story. It simply could not have played out like this.

He's living with his mother, who inexplicably ran up $11k worth of debt on a $1k limit credit card? Meanwhile, he continues to live with her?

First of all, no bank is going to continue to up the limit on a CC like that for somebody in his situation. Second, unless it is a shared card only he could up the limit. Otherwise, it is fraud and he should call the credit card company and tell them what happened. That's not to mention that his mother STOLE from him. As in, she would likely face criminal charges if this was reported.

There's a lie somewhere here. Either you're trolling or your boyfriend is lying.

[Bugler]

What happened when you as the gf in the relationship asked his mother what happened with the money?

[trisle604]

There is something missing from this story. It simply could not have played out like this.

He's living with his mother, who inexplicably ran up $11k worth of debt on a $1k limit credit card? Meanwhile, he continues to live with her?

First of all, no bank is going to continue to up the limit on a CC like that for somebody in his situation. Second, unless it is a shared card only he could up the limit. Otherwise, it is fraud and he should call the credit card company and tell them what happened. That's not to mention that his mother STOLE from him. As in, she would likely face criminal charges if this was reported.

There's a lie somewhere here. Either you're trolling or your boyfriend is lying.

agreed.something is definitely fishy .even if he authorized to increase the limit , i dont get how any student with a pretty crappy job if i may say , can go from 1k - 11k limit increase.

[UrbanPoet]

everyone: bankruptcy

Hmmm... It takes 7 years for that to clear off your record... He'll be spending 4 years in school, possibly 5-6 beacuse he has to pay for it himself if he has difficulty getting OSAP...

Again... Although its only $11k, He does have undue hardship and its somewhat unrealistic for him to pay it back depending on his living conditions... Bankruptcy might not be that bad of an option.

Because frankly.. I imagine if a mom can run up a kids credit card and refuse to pay it back, they must be pretty GHETTOOO.
For some reason... I assume only a REALLY desperate mother can do this to her own child...

[EchoAngel911]

I agree, there is no way a student can get such a huge credit limit increase. Even I earn more than a student and can't get 11k limits. So why does your bf continue to live with mom?

A) Tell your BF to be a man (seems like a pushover ...)
-1, take back the cards, only allow authorization on him
-2, decrease the limit back to 250-500
-3, speak to a debt councilor since interest will kill
B) It is really a situation between bf and mom
C) If you can't live with their situation, move on and find someone better

agreed.something is definitely fishy .even if he authorized to increase the limit , i dont get how any student with a pretty crappy job if i may say , can go from 1k - 11k limit increase.

[babygh0st]

There is something missing from this story. It simply could not have played out like this.

He's living with his mother, who inexplicably ran up $11k worth of debt on a $1k limit credit card? Meanwhile, he continues to live with her?

First of all, no bank is going to continue to up the limit on a CC like that for somebody in his situation. Second, unless it is a shared card only he could up the limit. Otherwise, it is fraud and he should call the credit card company and tell them what happened. That's not to mention that his mother STOLE from him. As in, she would likely face criminal charges if this was reported.

There's a lie somewhere here. Either you're trolling or your boyfriend is lying.

How about you read all my posts before jumping to conclusion? The reason why it's at 11k now is cause of the interests. The limit the bank raised it to was around 7k. Like I said before, his mom kept calling the bank to raise the limit(she knows all his information, birthdate, sin # etc). We both got credit cards at the same time from same bank and he was able to get a 1k limit from start while I got only 500 because his mom has a business account with them and for a while her business was under my boyfriend's name.

Yes, it's fraud but what can he do? It's still better for him to live at home right now rather than getting his own place and having to pay rent. And besides, she's still his own mother. Suing is out of the question for him because that's just something he would never do.

Anyway, is it possible for us to draft our own consumer proposal or do we need to see a trustee? I was thinking of making an appointment with a licensed trustee and see what they say. But I'm just wondering if these people are trustworthy? Do they charge too much for services?

[DearSummer]

How about you read all my posts before jumping to conclusion? The reason why it's at 11k now is cause of the interests. The limit the bank raised it to was around 7k. Like I said before, his mom kept calling the bank to raise the limit(she knows all his information, birthdate, sin # etc). We both got credit cards at the same time from same bank and he was able to get a 1k limit from start while I got only 500 because his mom has a business account with them and for a while her business was under my boyfriend's name.

Yes, it's fraud but what can he do? It's still better for him to live at home right now rather than getting his own place and having to pay rent. And besides, she's still his own mother. Suing is out of the question for him because that's just something he would never do.

Anyway, is it possible for us to draft our own consumer proposal or do we need to see a trustee? I was thinking of making an appointment with a licensed trustee and see what they say. But I'm just wondering if these people are trustworthy? Do they charge too much for services?

His mother is a female. He is a male. That presents an obvious problem when calling the bank to increase the limit.

What was this kid doing while his mother was ringing up these charges? He must have been receiving statements.

What can he do? He could start by calling the credit card company and reporting what happened. He should also notify the police and file charges against his mother.

[Truemana]

The problem I see here is that your boyfriend waited for $4000 in interest to gather before considering this is a problem. If he didn't authorize the credit increases, then it is fraud. I know hindsight is 20/20, but waiting this long to deal with such a substantial amount of money when he is so young really was not the right decision.

...I don't have any valuable advice to add I don't think. I have substantial student debt right now, but a good paying job. The only way I'm able to pay it down is put every extra dollar I have towards my debt and float my low interest student line of credit and pay the monthly interest on that.

[brunes]

well i think itd be best if he finds fulltime work and takes time off from uni for one year. pay his debt off and go back to uni full time.

Why should he have to pay off 11K in debit from his deadbeat mom?

SUE HER. Do not listen to the naysayers. You will not gte back the full sum, but you will at least get a portion. Even if you get nothing you will at least have the satisfaction of taking her to court.

You never know the simple act of filing suit may prompt her or her family to change her tune and start repayments, instead of losing the relationship with her son forever.

[Kami19]

my mom is badly in debt also my sister as they have no money management and ran up their cc's, my sister asked for 460 to finish off a payment so i gave it. this was about march. a couple months ago my mother asked me to borrow thousand dollars and she would give me 100 dollars a month over 10 months. i thought and thought and thought and said. Get my sister to pay you the money she owes me and thats about half and then get them to give you the rest. well this made a huge fight out of it and now my sisters won't cook me dinner nor does my mother. I then realized money is a pretty sensitive issue.

[Piro21]

First of all, no bank is going to continue to up the limit on a CC like that for somebody in his situation

You would be surprised at what the banks will do. TD raised my girlfriend's credit limit from $1,000 to just over $9,000 over the period of 2 years while she was only working a part-time retail job. I was unemployed a while back for about three months, and RBC actually raised my limit from $5,000 to $7,000 during that time. I didn't tell them or give them permission, they just did it.

[DearSummer]

You would be surprised at what the banks will do. TD raised my girlfriend's credit limit from $1,000 to just over $9,000 over the period of 2 years while she was only working a part-time retail job. I was unemployed a while back for about three months, and RBC actually raised my limit from $5,000 to $7,000 during that time. I didn't tell them or give them permission, they just did it.

It doesn't make sense in the context of this story.

Were multiple limit increases requested over a period of a few months? How could the kid not notice this?

If payments aren't being made, a limit increase is very unlikely to occur. Obviously if you pay your bill on time and have a good credit history they'll allow you to increase your limit. That is not the case here.

Further, it still makes no sense how a woman could call and pretend to be a man to get a limit increase. If that doesn't set off alarm bells to the CSR, nothing would.

[jiepie]

it is unbelievable story.

but here is THE solution, follow all the steps:
1. steal the mother's credit cardS and take out as much cash as he can, if he is a push over, you do it for him. 2k there at least.

2. you mentioned, he is in the big family. he can borrow interest free from each of his siblings 2k there at least.

3. Where the hell is his father, grand mother, grand father, uncle aunt? borrow $500 from each. another 2k

4. you lend him 2k.

5. work and save up another 2k in 4 moths.

there you go, $10,000.

side note, i have never seen any immigrant family does this kind of **** to their son. i even saw indian people pool money into a pod and whoever needs money can take money from the pod.

[Piro21]

It doesn't make sense in the context of this story.

Were multiple limit increases requested over a period of a few months? How could the kid not notice this?

If payments aren't being made, a limit increase is very unlikely to occur. Obviously if you pay your bill on time and have a good credit history they'll allow you to increase your limit. That is not the case here.

Further, it still makes no sense how a woman could call and pretend to be a man to get a limit increase. If that doesn't set off alarm bells to the CSR, nothing would.

You don't have to request an increase for the bank to increase your credit limit. If the kid is 20 he's had the card for at least 2 years, which is plenty of time for the bank to up his limit if he'd been keeping up with the payments. Mom probably got wind of what his limit was somehow and abused the hell out of it once he let her use it. He probably trusted her, and didn't know what she was doing if he's not the type to constantly check online banking. As for why she did it? Plenty of parents **** their kids over in all kinds of ways. Not everyone is cut out for parenting or ready to let go once a kid hits the late teens. Who knows what her reasoning was.

[DearSummer]

You don't have to request an increase for the bank to increase your credit limit. If the kid is 20 he's had the card for at least 2 years, which is plenty of time for the bank to up his limit if he'd been keeping up with the payments. Mom probably got wind of what his limit was somehow and abused the hell out of it once he let her use it. He probably trusted her, and didn't know what she was doing if he's not the type to constantly check online banking. As for why she did it? Plenty of parents **** their kids over in all kinds of ways. Not everyone is cut out for parenting or ready to let go once a kid hits the late teens. Who knows what her reasoning was.

The mother requested the credit increase. Hence, this theory is false.

[Piro21]

Ah, I missed that. All it takes is one uninformed CSR to put it through though.

[babygh0st]

It doesn't make sense in the context of this story.

Were multiple limit increases requested over a period of a few months? How could the kid not notice this?

If payments aren't being made, a limit increase is very unlikely to occur. Obviously if you pay your bill on time and have a good credit history they'll allow you to increase your limit. That is not the case here.

Further, it still makes no sense how a woman could call and pretend to be a man to get a limit increase. If that doesn't set off alarm bells to the CSR, nothing would.
My boyfriend did not care about it that much when he gave her the credit card cause he thought she would pay it back eventually. And honestly, even right now he's still defending her about this situation. That's why I decided to step in to try and help him end this because I don't think he realizes how bad his situation is and what his mom did was really f'd up.

I don't know how she was able to raise the limit herself but she was able to do it and that's what happened.

[DearSummer]

My boyfriend did not care about it that much when he gave her the credit card cause he thought she would pay it back eventually. And honestly, even right now he's still defending her about this situation. That's why I decided to step in to try and help him end this because I don't think he realizes how bad his situation is and what his mom did was really f'd up.

I don't know how she was able to raise the limit herself but she was able to do it and that's what happened.

So he hasn't even asked the CC company how the limit was raised? LOL

[trisle604]

My boyfriend did not care about it that much when he gave her the credit card cause he thought she would pay it back eventually. And honestly, even right now he's still defending her about this situation. That's why I decided to step in to try and help him end this because I don't think he realizes how bad his situation is and what his mom did was really f'd up.

I don't know how she was able to raise the limit herself but she was able to do it and that's what happened.

seems like he is okay with what has happened or he is possibly withholding smaller details about the situation like most people do when they are in a tough jam.from your last two posts i guess it some what makes sense how he can jump from 1k - 7k like you stated due to the business being put under his name and all , but if he is defending his mom still about the situation then clearly there is more than meets the eye going on.i think you should just let him take his time earning a degree instead of pushing for both of you to have a career at the same time.you never know whats going to happen in the future and even if you guys will be together still , thats my suggestion.im pursuing a career in medicine and wont be getting any income with in the next 7-9 years , if my girlfriend/boyfriend cant deal with that and wants me to have a job when she/he does , just because she/he has no intentions of doing grad school , i would honestly probably just say , "nice knowing you , toodles" . im only saying that because you sound very adamant about not waiting an extra few years for him to get his career started.

[7jai]

babyghost:

Here's my suggestion to your bf. I would tell him to a) cut all these credit card ties with the mother (if he hasn't already), b) tell the mom that she is on her own in regards to these debt issues, c) work hard and get 2 part time jobs to pay off this debt immediately (that should be his #1 priority right now).

After he pays of everything, he should focus on saving and school. Forget what the mom owes him, people like that will never return money back. Just treat it as a lesson learn and MOVE ON. Tell him to protect himself while he still can.

That's the best idea in my opinion. Good luck to both of you!

[ShopperfiendTO]

my mom is badly in debt also my sister as they have no money management and ran up their cc's, my sister asked for 460 to finish off a payment so i gave it. this was about march. a couple months ago my mother asked me to borrow thousand dollars and she would give me 100 dollars a month over 10 months. i thought and thought and thought and said. Get my sister to pay you the money she owes me and thats about half and then get them to give you the rest. well this made a huge fight out of it and now my sisters won't cook me dinner nor does my mother. I then realized money is a pretty sensitive issue.

This is a great anecdote, thanks for sharing, even though I'm sorry for your awkward living situation. Kind of like the real housewives of whatever area withholding sex if they don't get spending money. "Don't lend me da money, I no cook for you!"

Do you have or make a lot more money than your sister or mother? If you don't, then it just shows how fickle they are. It's not like your sister paying you or your mother getting the money from you is worth more (a $20 legal bill is a $20 legal bill).

Really boils down to never lending money to friends or relatives money that you expect back, or put differently, only lend money to friends and family that you can afford to lose.

[G-Yo]

Really boils down to never lending money to friends or relatives money that you expect back, or put differently, only lend money to friends and family that you can afford to lose.

I would go one step further and say its better to "gift" a small amount of money if you are in the position to do so, rather than "lend" a large sum of money, which could hurt you if they fail to pay.

[Adams06]

This sounds like a perfect episode of Judge Judy.

Although you say that you've shown this thread to your b/f, it doesn't seem like he really cares about the advice given. You haven't provided any new information since the first post.

He needs to figure out how his credit was increased and by whom. Ask for the recordings, and confront the bank about an unauthorized user increasing the credit limit.

Your b/f really needs to understand the implications this type of situation will have on the rest of his life. We're talking about the effects it will have on taking out a mortgage when the time comes. And if your b/f were to go the route of bankruptcy - for a measely 10K - then I doubt any bank will want to loan him money. And if he's common law or married to you, his credit rating will affect you as well.

Take time off school and focus on paying the debt off is the only solution you should be considering, since your b/f has pussed out of confronting his mother over the amount.