Flirting in work environment???

[Chuck Chorus]

Hi everybody.

Can you give me some advice please?

Lets say you work in a department store (Sears or Walmart for example)
and there is a very attractive cashier who is flirting with you.

How do you show her that you are interested back, while trying to keep it all in a professional manner?

As a new member of the team, I am a bit nervous with opening myself up to ANYBODY. I'd rather just work hard, fast and effective (stock/general merchandise) I don't feel I can afford to act like all the regulars yet lol.

^ I feel as if she is has interpreted my hard work ethic as "cold"
when really.. its just my way of getting the task at hand accomplished (the job assigned to me by the Supervisor)

*Btw I am the type who really really needs to focus with what I am doing or I get distracted or start to joke around too much.

Anyways..

2 days ago when I was working during one of my shifts, she passed right by me and I didn't say a word. I was extremely busy and carrying/lifting semi heavy merchandise. I noticed that she seemed a bit peeved when I didn't greet her (I didn't greet her the whole day either)

^ Is there a way I can approach her and show her I do not mean to ignore her like that? A way to imply that I intend to keep work and personal life seperate for the most part? That if I am to be friends with anybody, they need to realize that in the store I am there to work and not play?

Outside of work though, thats when it is the appropriate time to hang out,
get to know each other's life stories, bake cakes, eat strawberries, etc etc.

** I just don't know if its too late to say all this to her now though.
I mean, did I effectively project an eternal bad impression of myself :confused:
How can one reverse an image one has shown to another person??

Thanks,
Chuck.

[ottawasportsfan2010]

You have to be careful.Some companys and stores set traps to see how you will handle something like this and how loyal you are to the store.

[Chuck Chorus]

You have to be careful.Some companys and stores set traps to see how you will handle something like this and how loyal you are to the store.

Hi Ottawa,

What do you mean by "loyal"?

[ottawasportsfan2010]

Hi Ottawa,

What do you mean by "loyal"?

Meaning your commited to your job.

[haowong]

Stop making excuses for yourself and just ask her out!

[CSAgent]

Don't **** on where you eat. But, from the sound of it, you're probably in high school so you probably could care less about the repercussions.

[molala]

flirt back...no harm

Meaning your commited to your job.

for a merchandiser in a department store? nah...they're not going to care

[ottawasportsfan2010]

flirt back...no harm



for a merchandiser in a department store? nah...they're not going to care

There are some stores who do care.

[ZenOps]

*funnay adult material*

http://www.break.com/index/sexual-harassment-in-the-work-place.html

As long as you aren't like these guys, I think you're ok.

[Chuck Chorus]

The thing is.. I worked in a store a couple years ago and there was a couple who worked there also.

At first they worked in seperate departments but, in time they eventually found a way to work in the same area together.

Lets just say the Managers/Supervisors and some Co-Workers were a bit
"annoyed" by it.

Especially when the couple were too "huggy huggy" with each other
+ the occasional times they had their arguments.

The Manager did his best to make their work periods Hell On Earth.
He would do his best to seperate them, yell at them, punish them for the smallest stuff, lesson their shifts, etc etc.

^ This is one scenario I would wish to avoid in a work environment lol


Edit *** Goes the same for getting too close to buddies at work as well. I've seen guys who became so clique with each other
that it became apparent they brought in unnessasary politics and drama to the workplace. It became a whole "them vs us"
environment **

[najibs]

Hi everybody.

Can you give me some advice please?

Lets say you work in a department store (Sears or Walmart for example)
and there is a very attractive cashier who is flirting with you.

How do you show her that you are interested back, while trying to keep it all in a professional manner?


Easy, take her to the undewear/lingerie section and tell her to try out some thongs & skimpy bras while you sit there and watch.

[Dimension]

OP, if you plan to stay at Sears/Walmart for a long-time, take CSA's advice. Don't **** on where you eat.

Otherwise, go and flirt back. Don't over think what you want to do. Just let it happen naturally. IMO, you should ask her out for coffee after your shift.

EDIT: When you are at work, just keep it professional. Like, talk about work stuff with her when necessary. It's not hard at all!

[red120]

If it's a job and not a career, then lay your game down and just approach it like any other gal you would meet in high school. Jobs that age are a dime a dozen, anyways, no such thing as a good position.

Make small talk when you're scheduled together, meet up after work, and go from there.

[Nikita]

If you really do want to go down that path (and I agree it could jeopardize your job, so you should be sure), then just tell it to her the way you explained it to us in your original post. Keep it separate from work (not an easy thing to do though) and keep it secret (also not an easy thing to do). Personally I don't know why you're having such a hard time with this (unless it's just that you can't decide for sure IF you want to get involved), you explained it to us, just explain it to her. It's not rocket science, unless she's brainless she should get it. After all, it's going to affect her in the same way it's going to affect you...in the workplace I mean.

You might first though want to check to see if your company has a rule against 'fraternizing'. You do want to know any potential consequences of an 'office romance', so to speak, if you are going to take this any further.

My personal opinion is that workplace romances usually have more negatives than positives though, but hey, that's just my 2 cents.

[najibs]

If you really do want to go down...then just tell it to her the way you explained it to us in your original post.

Fixed. Well said :twisted:

[Nikita]

Fixed. Well said :twisted:


LOL Najibs....you're such a brat :twisted: !

[najibs]

LOL Najibs....you're such a brat :twisted: !

Nikita, you're so.......naughty :twisted:

Sounds like you're an expert at flirting in the workplace.

[at1212b]

Its not that hard to smile, and maybe make a little face like 'I'm tired' in a joking way or just raise one eyebrow while smiling.

Just to talk to her like normal, maybe crack a joke or something... which I guess can be flirting, but not in a serious way or anything like that.

[Nikita]

Nikita, you're so.......naughty :twisted:

Sounds like you're an expert at flirting in the workplace.

Nahh, more like an expert at dealing with employees flirting in the workplace. Which I'm not against at all, I have no problem with a little harmless flirting. But if it's going to go beyond flirting, as an employer, yes that can cause problems in the workplace that I don't want to have to deal with. I wouldn't have a policy against it, but if it were to cause problems in the work environment I'd have to issue an ultimatum.

[V A N Q U I S H]

One of the things I miss about working retail is the hot cashiers that I had fun with.... so many memories....

[Shaner]

OP, you're going to very quickly alienate yourself from the rest of your co-workers. You can take your job seriously while also socializing at work. You also don't always have to speak in a professional manner just because you're at work.

Next time you go on, make eye contact with your co-workers. Ask them what's new, how their long weekend was, etc. Make sure to talk to that girl you mentioned. Just because you're talking to a co-worker for a couple minutes during your shift doesn't mean you aren't doing your job.

Your employer is likely reasonable and realizes people are going to socialize during their shifts, it's human nature (for most of us anyway).

[Shaner]

One of the things I miss about working retail is the hot cashiers that I had fun with.... so many memories....

Agreed. I worked at a No Frills during high school and there quite a few hot cashiers that I got to know quite well. If only I could go back to high school for a year. Knowing what I know now, things would have been different. lol

[Chuck Chorus]

Easy, take her to the undewear/lingerie section and tell her to try out some thongs & skimpy bras while you sit there and watch.

najibs...

I swear if alternate universes exist, yours must be pretty interesting lol :D

[Chuck Chorus]

OP, you're going to very quickly alienate yourself from the rest of your co-workers. You can take your job seriously while also socializing at work. You also don't always have to speak in a professional manner just because you're at work.

Next time you go on, make eye contact with your co-workers. Ask them what's new, how their long weekend was, etc. Make sure to talk to that girl you mentioned. Just because you're talking to a co-worker for a couple minutes during your shift doesn't mean you aren't doing your job.

Your employer is likely reasonable and realizes people are going to socialize during their shifts, it's human nature (for most of us anyway).

Alright will do.

I've always had this whole disciplined hard work ethic with me that goes a bit extreme sometimes.

Gotta loosen up I guess.

[Shaner]

Alright will do.

I've always had this whole disciplined hard work ethic with me that goes a bit extreme sometimes.

Gotta loosen up I guess.

You have to find that healthy balance. You don't want all your co-workers to think you're rude, but at the same time you want to make sure you don't come across as lazy to your bosses. By the sounds you don't have to worry about the latter, but if I were you I would work on socializing a little bit more with your co-workers.

I'm sure you work in the same area as other people, so there's nothing wrong with talking to those people while you work. As long as you're not shouting to someone on the other side of the store.

Also, when you're coming into work, leaving work or just happen to be walking by someone you work with, strike up a quick conversation. Ask them how their day was, what's new in their life, what their upcoming plans are, etc. You don't have to stand around for 10 minutes and talk, but a quick 30-60 second conversation every now and then will go unnoticed by your bosses.

A work environment where your co-workers don't like you is never a pleasant environment. I'd rather my bosses dislike me than my co-workers, but I'm big on friends and socializing.

[najibs]

najibs...

I swear if alternate universes exist, yours must be pretty interesting lol :D

It's like Happy Gilmore's 'Happy Place' :twisted:

Alright will do.

I've always had this whole disciplined hard work ethic with me that goes a bit extreme sometimes.

Gotta loosen up I guess.

I'm a manager, and I understand that as Shaner said, human nature is human nature, and there's nothing wrong with socialising, provided certain boundaries aren't crossed. Then again, easier said then done sometimes :twisted:

[twboy1999]

just take her out
not a big deal

still be professional at work

[mgronqui]

Alright will do.

I've always had this whole disciplined hard work ethic with me that goes a bit extreme sometimes.

Gotta loosen up I guess.

I myself need to work on this as well. My desire to get my work done and not want to socialize much may rub people the wrong way. Sometimes though it's great to talk to someone to rejuvenate my energy and put myself out there. I am a work in progress. :)

[Engi-Nir]

It would be ACKWARD, if you guys date and things don't work out lol

PS: you are free to flirt, remember there is other jobs out there :D

[Jungle]

Tell her that she looks nice today, give her complements for a few days, then speak small chat, find something in common, ask her out.

[Shaner]

Tell her that she looks nice today, give her complements for a few days, then speak small chat, find something in common, ask her out.

Yeah, tell her she looks nice in her work uniform. haha

[Dash]

Tell her you think she looks like she should be in marketing. she'll know what it means. :D

[Frankie3s]

Tell her you think she looks like she should be in marketing. she'll know what it means. :D

That's a good one. But seriously avoid flirting at work. If the relationship tanks or there is trouble somebody usually has to leave and chances are that somebody will be you. Go out with the customers instead.

[kramerz80]

I say page her on the intercom to come in the stockroom, wait for her to pop in then give her "The Goat"!!! She'll get the picture soon enough!

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=The+goat

[65505201]

I say page her on the intercom to come in the stockroom, wait for her to pop in then give her "The Goat"!!! She'll get the picture soon enough!

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=The+goat

Heh heh. Well, back in my more innocent days, somehow the action of punching a donkey came up between a coworker and I. Well, on a stressful day for her, I gave her a sketch of a guy punching a donkey in the face....she was amused and put it up on her cube.

Needless to say, when I later figured out what punching the donkey meant...well, things got awkward in the lab.

[Eyies]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ENchZIW5igQ

[Sanhedralite]

go for it!

[Dash]

Yeah, tell her she looks nice in her work uniform. haha

tell her that her outfit is very becoming. but then again...if you were on her you'd be.....

[stovetop]

what if you don't know whether she likes you or not but u like her and if you ask her out and she rejects you, then it'll be really awkward at work afterwards....i can't imagine being rejected and then having to see the person at work everyday

[stovetop]

whats a good way to ask a customer out..i work in retail type environment

[hyperion]

Have fun getting sued for sexual harassment.

[najibs]

whats a good way to ask a customer out..i work in retail type environment

Tell her you'll give her lessons on how to use what she just bought.

[mgronqui]

When it comes to relationships at work, you just can't win no matter how you slice it.

[Chuck Chorus]

When it comes to relationships at work, you just can't win no matter how you slice it.

please tell me there are exceptions to the rules though :o

[ottawasportsfan2010]

whats a good way to ask a customer out..i work in retail type environment

You not only risk the chance of getting fired but very well could get sued.

[mgronqui]

please tell me there are exceptions to the rules though :o

If you are on contract or on your way out.

[Nikita]

Originally Posted by stovetop
whats a good way to ask a customer out..i work in retail type environment

You not only risk the chance of getting fired but very well could get sued.

For asking a customer out? I highly doubt that would be grounds for termination. And I know for sure asking a customer out is NOT grounds for a lawsuit! WTH, where did you get such silly information??

[Dash]

all in all, flirting is harmless and ok. dating on the other hand, might be best left out of the office. Same rule applies to RFD.

[new_vr]

all in all, flirting is harmless and ok. dating on the other hand, might be best left out of the office. Same rule applies to RFD.

Just remember, it's at a department store...how hard is it to replace that job...worst case scenario

[selpats]

I wouldn't be happily married right now if I didn't flirt at work! :cheesygri

[ottawasportsfan2010]

For asking a customer out? I highly doubt that would be grounds for termination. And I know for sure asking a customer out is NOT grounds for a lawsuit! WTH, where did you get such silly information??

My past job and other places around me have such a clause and its right there in black and white.You can not ask a customer out in the store.When your not working and you know where they live you can do what you want.While you could get fired if its became a reg thing once or twice in the store it would be a slap on the wrist.It depends how you ask someone out if you ask someone out in a so called dirty way that could be seen as sexual harrassment.

[Nikita]

My past job and other places around me have such a clause and its right there in black and white.You can not ask a customer out in the store.When your not working and you know where they live you can do what you want.As for asking a customer out is not ground for a lawsuit.It could be if you keep asking and asking.

Umm, no, unless you're stalking someone there's no grounds for a lawsuit over asking someone out. But I'd be interested in the source of your opinion on that, if you have one.

[Spidey]

You have to be careful.Some companys and stores set traps to see how you will handle something like this and how loyal you are to the store.

Christ, you watch to many movies

[ottawasportsfan2010]

Christ, you watch to many movies

It does happen.

Nikita
Again yes if you ask someone out but you ask in a nasty way then yes that could get you sued.

[stuff352]

It does happen.

Nikita
Again yes if you ask someone out but you ask in a nasty way then yes that could get you sued.

On what basis?

You would probably get fired or disiplined for doing it but not sued.

[Shaner]

It does happen.

Nikita
Again yes if you ask someone out but you ask in a nasty way then yes that could get you sued.

You live in an imaginary world.

[Nikita]

It does happen.

Nikita
Again yes if you ask someone out but you ask in a nasty way then yes that could get you sued.

Saying 'again' doesn't make it anymore right than the first time you said it. I didn't ask you to repeat yourself (you do know that posts don't self-destruct after time don't you?), I asked you for a source. Obviously you don't have one so obviously you're, well to be nice, let's say 'misinformed'.

[Spidey]

It does happen.

Nikita
Again yes if you ask someone out but you ask in a nasty way then yes that could get you sued.

Show me proof then.

[ottawasportsfan2010]

Saying 'again' doesn't make it anymore right than the first time you said it. I didn't ask you to repeat yourself (you do know that posts don't self-destruct after time don't you?), I asked you for a source. Obviously you don't have one so obviously you're, well to be nice, let's say 'misinformed'.

I suggest you look up harrsement.Its all there its very clear what could get you in legal trouble.

[red120]

I suggest you look up harrsement.Its all there its very clear what could get you in legal trouble.
Maybe if you make another widely ambiguous suggestion, she'll go away.

If she doesn't, though, it just might be time to admit defeat.

[Nikita]

I suggest you look up harrsement.Its all there its very clear what could get you in legal trouble.

I suggest YOU look up harassment...lol! I'm very very familiar with the law in regards to harassment. Though I don't know how you got from asking someone out a lot to harassment??:confused: And, if you'd read my earlier post, which you obviously didn't, I even made an exception for stalking...just cuz I knew someone would play that card.

[ottawasportsfan2010]

I suggest YOU look up harassment...lol! I'm very very familiar with the law in regards to harassment. Though I don't know how you got from asking someone out a lot to harassment??:confused: And, if you'd read my earlier post, which you obviously didn't, I even made an exception for stalking...just cuz I knew someone would play that card.

I did not saying just asking someone out is.What i did say is if you ask in a way that is dirty/nasty that could be seen as harassment.

[Nikita]

I suggest you look up harrsement.Its all there its very clear what could get you in legal trouble.

I did not saying just asking someone out is.What i did say is if you ask in a way that is dirty/nasty that could be seen as harassment.

Still wrong. Why don't you just google 'harassment' or better still, check the Criminal Code definition of the word.

www.canlii.com

Click on Federal, then Statutes, then Criminal Code.