What is the point of joining those "in memorial" Facebook groups?

[FearSonic]

Now, before you go off calling me an insensitive jackass or whatever, just know that I'm asking a very valid question.

My girlfriend invited me to the "R.I.P. Tim McLean" Facebook group, and I hesitated in joining. I didn't join the ones for Virginia Tech, I didn't join the ones for any of those senseless murders in Toronto, and I just don't join many groups in general. She got rather upset that I didn't want to join the group, saying I should feel terrible for the guy and join to give my condolences or whatever.

My question is, other than saying you joined XXXX group because you wanted to show the family your support, what does it bring you to join those groups? Am I a huge jackass for not wanting to join a group because I don't think joining a Facebook group will do anything for the victim or family?

I feel terrible about the whole situation and I think I'm not being a good person by not joining, but honestly, why should I take Facebook so seriously?

[dasaylay]

No, your girlfriend shouldn't have gotten upset over it.

Facebook is an excuse lots of people have, but don't admit, for not doing something productive.

[ndrew029]

Now, before you go off calling me an insensitive jackass or whatever, just know that I'm asking a very valid question.

My girlfriend invited me to the "R.I.P. Tim McLean" Facebook group, and I hesitated in joining. I didn't join the ones for Virginia Tech, I didn't join the ones for any of those senseless murders in Toronto, and I just don't join many groups in general. She got rather upset that I didn't want to join the group, saying I should feel terrible for the guy and join to give my condolences or whatever.

My question is, other than saying you joined XXXX group because you wanted to show the family your support, what does it bring you to join those groups? Am I a huge jackass for not wanting to join a group because I don't think joining a Facebook group will do anything for the victim or family?

I feel terrible about the whole situation and I think I'm not being a good person by not joining, but honestly, why should I take Facebook so seriously?

No, I feel the same way. You don't know those people personally, so why be a wannabe like everyone else? If everyone really cared, they would go to the actual memorial service.

[UrbanPoet]

No, I feel the same way. You don't know those people personally, so why be a wannabe like everyone else? If everyone really cared, they would go to the actual memorial service.

its still a nice gesture to join.

[ndrew029]

its still a nice gesture to join.

If it makes you feel better, why not?

But do you still care if you don't tell everyone that you care? It seems like people do things just because it looks good on them.

[IBOPM]

If it makes you feel better, why not?

But do you still care if you don't tell everyone that you care? It seems like people do things just because it looks good on them.

+1, I care for the victims in my own heart. I don't need to tell all my facebook "friends" about it.

[Peckerwood]

Much of it is ego stroking...peer pressure...etc

Truly heartfelt feelings can never be expressed on a webpage any more than they could ever be felt from a book.

[calcuu]

I see where you're coming from. I joined just to say say what was on my mind about the situation. I don't mind if people don't join since they don't need to show everyone that they care. It is a nice gesture like UP said. Also, the group is for other members of the community to give their reaction to the situation as well.

[Dimension]

Virtual spontaneous memorialization.

It is a rapid public response to violent deaths. People can mourn informally and globally they don't have to be at the scene, or funeral. Memorials on websites allow people to greive, write notes, leaves virtual gifts and such with a click away. It is a way that people cope with unexpected deaths.

[skewed]

So when you start building up your portfolio of "in memorial" groups and decide to leave some......does that mean you start not caring?

I just stop going on Facebook because of all the stuff people try to force on you. Side thing, it is crazy to see how much personal information certain people put on there.

[FearSonic]

Virtual spontaneous memorialization.

It is a rapid public response to violent deaths. People can mourn informally and globally they don't have to be at the scene, or funeral. Memorials on websites allow people to greive, write notes, leaves virtual gifts and such with a click away. It is a way that people cope with unexpected deaths.

Other than those who were close with him or lived in his community, will those who join the group even care a couple months - or even weeks - from now? That is my main concern with these groups, they mourn temporarily.

[Dimension]

Other than those who were close with him or lived in his community, will those who join the group even care a couple months - or even weeks - from now? That is my main concern with these groups, they mourn temporarily.

Yes, XXXXXX group is temporary. But the idea of spontaneous memorlization will be around for a long time. Death is universal. In a global world, it is one way for people to pay their paying respects.

Plus, it's mourning and coping . People are shocked and in a fragile state of mind. They are trying to seek support and comfort from others and surrouding community.

[FearSonic]

Yes, XXXXXX group is temporary. But the idea of spontaneous memorlization will be around for a long time. Death is universal. In a global world, it is one way for people to pay their paying respects.

Plus, it's mourning and coping . People are shocked and in a fragile state of mind. They are trying to seek support and comfort from others and surrouding community.

Fair enough.

[MrDisco]

I feel terrible about the whole situation and I think I'm not being a good person by not joining, but honestly, why should I take Facebook so seriously?

You have no reason to feel that way. If you want to make a real difference donate or volunteer your time with a worthy charity. Facebook is a huge waste of time.

[rfdrfd]

Same reason why ppl join facebook in the first place.

Making it easier for thieves to steal your identity !

[sprung]

might be a way of showing your support especially in light of the protest that one 'church' has planned for his funeral (http://www.ctv.ca/servlet/ArticleNews/story/CTVNews/20080807/funeral_protest_080807/20080807?hub=TopStories)...

"A church group described in a British documentary as "the most hated family in America" says it will head to Canada this weekend to protest Tim McLean's funeral.

The daughter of the founder of the Westboro Baptist Church, based in Topeka, Ka., told CTV.ca she and several other church members will go to Winnipeg on Saturday to demonstrate against what she described as McLean's "filthy way of life." Shirley Phelps-Roper said his life was emblematic of Canada's moral decay. "

[kerorogunso]

OP, what you said also applies to all those ceremonies... maybe that goes a bit far. Let's say putting flowers and cards to the site where the tragic happened. It's just the same. Sometimes you need to put it into action to let other people feel it. For facebook, it's just a trend.

[FearSonic]

might be a way of showing your support especially in light of the protest that one 'church' has planned for his funeral (http://www.ctv.ca/servlet/ArticleNews/story/CTVNews/20080807/funeral_protest_080807/20080807?hub=TopStories)...

"A church group described in a British documentary as "the most hated family in America" says it will head to Canada this weekend to protest Tim McLean's funeral.

The daughter of the founder of the Westboro Baptist Church, based in Topeka, Ka., told CTV.ca she and several other church members will go to Winnipeg on Saturday to demonstrate against what she described as McLean's "filthy way of life." Shirley Phelps-Roper said his life was emblematic of Canada's moral decay. "

What the hell is wrong with the Westboro Baptist Church? They should just keep their noses out of everything...


OP, what you said also applies to all those ceremonies... maybe that goes a bit far. Let's say putting flowers and cards to the site where the tragic happened. It's just the same. Sometimes you need to put it into action to let other people feel it. For facebook, it's just a trend.

No, but see, there is a distinct difference between taking time out of your life to go to the site, and placing cards and/or flowers down, compared to clicking a few buttons to join a Facebook group. You're just adding to a number on a website in the latter.

[D-Sisive]

why should I take Facebook so seriously?

you shouldnt but i think your girl does

she gets mad over this stupid reason?

get out now....if shes this crazy over facebook issues....yikes in the future

why dont you tell her to visit funeral homes everyday to support the family...yea exactly, its useless unless you know them

wack

[Shaner]

Tomorrow morning, open your local paper and look for the name of a recently deceased person. Create a Facebook group in honour of that person and invite your girlfriend. Do that every day for a month, and if she refuses to join, give her hell. She'll get the point.

[FearSonic]

Tomorrow morning, open your local paper and look for the name of a recently deceased person. Create a Facebook group in honour of that person and invite your girlfriend. Do that every day for a month, and if she refuses to join, give her hell. She'll get the point.

:lol: :lol: :lol:

While I would do that, I really don't care enough to do it. That wasn't my main concern, since she's just being silly.

But I had a very valid question: why do people think that by joining this group, they are "showing support"? I mean yes, you are joining and you "send" your condolences, but I doubt many of these people do anything more than click a few buttons.

[Talamasca]

It's just a means of showing support, even if it's pointless. If it means something to you, it's worth doing.

Look at those cars with the yellow ribbon stickers on them to support the troops. A piece of adhesive-backed paper means nothing on the surface but its symbolism can bring comfort and support.

[Ebola]

Facebook is way to creepy for me.

Some people lay their whole lives out on there, especially women.

My profile is very limited in nature, and only friends can view it, I don't put any work, location, or status updates on there. Most of it is none of anyones buisness.

[Dimension]

But I had a very valid question: why do people think that by joining this group, they are "showing support"? I mean yes, you are joining and you "send" your condolences, but I doubt many of these people do anything more than click a few buttons.

FB allows others to see what groups you have joined, right? These groups represent your identity , namely as what you like, your concerns, and such.

Some people lay their whole lives out on there, especially women.

IMO, that's too broad of a generalization. I think it is people who are obsessed with sharing information that tend to tell everyone, everything about themselves.

Facebook is way to creepy for me. My profile is very limited in nature, and only friends can view it, I don't put any work, location, or status updates on there. Most of it is none of anyones buisness.[/

+1 FB is creepy for me as well. I don't want to promote any stalkers.

[Arcane]

We should all mourn for Mao

Mao dies in Toronto (http://www.theglobeandmail.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20080118.wshot19/BNStory/National/home?cid=al_gam_mostview)

[vee_one]

Facebook is way to creepy for me.

Some people lay their whole lives out on there, especially women.

My profile is very limited in nature, and only friends can view it, I don't put any work, location, or status updates on there. Most of it is none of anyones buisness.

+1

[Setz]

Facebook is how I found out that a friend I haven't seen in a year (http://www.new.facebook.com/home.php#/group.php?gid=10093906909&refurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.new.facebook.com%2Fs.php%3 Fref%3Dsearch%26init%3Dq%26q%3Dhina%2Bpatel) passed away.