Does this make me look like a stalker?

[msz006]

Came back from a guided tour to the US.
There was this extremely attractive girl who also happened to be on the tour, I didn't get a chance to really talk to her as she was with family and so was I. We just exchanged friendly smiles here and there. Of course by the time I realized I should have manned up and approached her during the trip, we were well on our separate ways. So I figure I admit I was a wuss, had my chance, blew it and move on. However, purely by chance I stumbled across her profile while perusing facebook (I never even got her name, but I'm pretty sure that's her). If I were to send her a message to say hi or whatever, would that make me look like some crazy stalker? It was pure coincidence, that I came across her, but I could certainly see how she might view this differently and the last thing I want is to be slapped with a restraining order. Should I send her a message or just let it go?

[monty613]

total stalker

[i have a cisco switch]

Send a message to explain it

[Byrns]

Yes, let it go.

[ndrew029]

This thread is useless without pictures :cheesygri

Seriously though. You have nothing to lose. But not very much to gain either, IMO. Do it. Don't do it. But don't lose any sleep on it.

[yao416]

Send her a msg along with this thread :lol:

[iam_immigrant]

Do it. This is your chance that you missed the first time.

[NiMSo]

Not to be pessimistic, but here's my take on it...

No matter how you try to explain it, I'm sure there will still be a lingering feeling in her mind that you had stalked her online! :razz: And unless she already had an initial attaction to you (probably not :D, otherwise you would have noticed), then you probably have no chance. Contacting her just might make it feel awkward. But if you don't care, you can try anyways :cheesygri.

Of course, you're just basing this on looks, and since you haven't even talked to her, you really have no idea what she's like anyways (... tsk, tsk... looks aren't everything :rolleyes:). In general, I find the most attractive girls to be the most troublesome. So don't fret, and move on...

[molala]

send her a message..you got nothing to lose!! at least u try.....or else u might regret later...!! good luck!!

[danns]

Yes send her a message!! And remember to keep us updated.

[heat]

msg her and say something like "hey, I was browsing through my friends profile, and you showed up...any chance you're the same girl that was on the trip??"

:D :D

if u need any ideas, holla!! I'm a PRO at this game:lol:

[Tijuana]

Its not if your saying the truth, but its *not believable* to a girl. Although it could very well be the truth, she wont believe you.

[molala]

Not to be pessimistic, but here's my take on it...

No matter how you try to explain it, I'm sure there will still be a lingering feeling in her mind that you had stalked her online! :razz: And unless she already had an initial attaction to you (probably not :D, otherwise you would have noticed), then you probably have no chance. Contacting her just might make it feel awkward. But if you don't care, you can try anyways :cheesygri.

Of course, you're just basing this on looks, and since you haven't even talked to her, you really have no idea what she's like anyways (... tsk, tsk... looks aren't everything :rolleyes:). In general, I find the most attractive girls to be the most troublesome. So don't fret, and move on...

i'd disagree......attractiveness is really subjective....this girl is attractive to OP it doesn't mean she's attractive to many other people...different people have different perspective....so you can't just say this girl is trouble simply because OP said she's attractive to him.....

[Rembrandt100]

Yes, let it go.


Thats good advise. Then you can spend the rest of your days wondering what if? I hardly think that sending one message is going to be upheld anywhere as stalking and a restraining order issued.

Dave

[UrbanPoet]

depends on your intention it may or may not be stalkerish.
the answer is with in your heart.

[drucillica]

How does one "accidentally stumble" upon someone's profile unless you were intentionally searching?

Anyway, yeah, don't do it - it's creepy.

[EbonyRose]

Just tell her the truth. Tell her you wanted to talk to her, but was too afraid to approach her, when she was with her family, so you looked her up to say hi. If you explain yourself sincerely, I'm sure it won't be as bad as being stalkerish.

The bottom line is, if you feel you'll always kick yourself in the butt for not talking to her in the first place, then you should do it. Worse that could happen is she doesn't respond. That's better than regretting it the rest of your life.

[billdozer]

How does one accidentally stumble upon someone's profile unless you were intentionally searching?

Anyway, yeah, don't do it - it's creepy.

OP is probably st7860's other account

[DeltasInTheSky]

If it wasn't meant to be, it wasn't meant to be.

[Shaner]

If I were you, I wouldn't tell this girl the truth.

I have no idea how you "stumbled" upon her Facebook account, but if I were you, I'd make up some believable story. Say you were looking at pictures of a friend of a friend and you recognized her picture. If she asks for a name, just play dumb. Say there were a couple different tags of people and you don't actually know the person who uploaded the picture. If you want, you can ask her if she's the same girl on the trip, but then it may seem like you don't really remember her.

Yes, it's deceiving, but the truth will get you nowhere in this situation. If anything ever comes of this, then you can tell this girl the truth in the future once she realizes you're not a creep.

But for now, I would make up a story about how you found her.

ps. How did you actually find her account without knowing her name?

[PsioniC]

Don't lie. Don't make up some story about how you found her profile. Just tell her the honest to god truth, anything else is likely to be more effort than its worth. Sending a message to a girl is fine and dandy. Making up a story just to justify sending her a message is the stalker like behavior.

[JeVartan]

Don't lie. Don't make up some story about how you found her profile. Just tell her the honest to god truth, anything else is likely to be more effort than its worth. Sending a message to a girl is fine and dandy. Making up a story just to justify sending her a message is the stalker like behavior.

+1

As some have said, be honest and do contact this person. Don't lie or make up stuff as that's terrible and when she finds out (trust me, the truth always comes out), she will be disappointed AND HURT/ANGRY if she finds out you lied to her. She might not even talk to you henceforth.

So tell the truth and contact her.


My boyfriend met me in a similar manner and now when I tell him, "I'm so glad you found me", I actually mean it.

[tootsieroll]

People may surprise you, so give it a try!

It sort of worked for this guy..

http://laughingsquid.com/help-patrick-moberg-find-the-ny-girl-of-his-dreams/

[Frankie3s]

Next time just go up to the women of you dreams with whatever you are wearing at the time and say, "excuse me, does this make me look like a stalker and a rapist or just a rapist?"

http://cache.consumerist.com/assets/resources/2007/09/stalking.jpg

[KorruptioN]

ps. How did you actually find her account without knowing her name?

Hours upon hours of fruitless searching through random names, obviously :lol:

[ricoboxing]

before you send her a message, just make sure you remove "stalking" on your activities/interests part of your profile

[IBOPM]

This thread is useless without pictures :cheesygri

Seriously though. You have nothing to lose. But not very much to gain either, IMO. Do it. Don't do it. But don't lose any sleep on it.

+1

Stalker lol...

You know sometimes... when in doubt, give up.

[licious]

Oh man, this thread is too funny. Anyways, I wouldn't mention anything about seeing her on your family trip and/or you scouring all of facebook until you "randomly" found her profile. That's just super creepy and most girls would be freaked out.

If I were you, I would just act like she's just a totally random person. Just add her and see how she responds. If she doesn't add you back: NOT interested. If she does, there may be some hope for you, just message her and say "hi". If she sends you a message asking how she knows you, I just wouldn't bother responding... it's not going to end well.

[dhamilton]

You might as well take initiative and get a restraining order for her (against yourself) as well.

I'd mention it in your message that you've gone through the trouble of getting one for her...bonus points.

[akirika]

Pics Nao

[burnt_toast]

link to her profile??

[FearSonic]

Similar situation happened to me - except she found me.

I wouldn't say it's all THAT scary being on the receiving end, but if they don't know your name, where you came from, and how you found them, it's a bit creepy. And "bit" is an understatement.

You really should have talked to her during the trip, even if she was with her family. It isn't very hard to catch them alone while shopping or something else.

[mingming]

was her profile locked? Or in full view for you (and about 50 other dudes) to stalk?

if anyone can access it, then she is waiting to be stalked!!! and her link should be posted for us to check out as well... :D

[Talamasca]

Total stalker. If you have to ask, you are one. It's basically impossible to find a specific person on FB without their name or email so you must have have done something stalker-ish to find her.

[Fanboy]

Just tell her the truth. Tell her you wanted to talk to her, but was too afraid to approach her, when she was with her family, so you looked her up to say hi. If you explain yourself sincerely, I'm sure it won't be as bad as being stalkerish.

The bottom line is, if you feel you'll always kick yourself in the butt for not talking to her in the first place, then you should do it. Worse that could happen is she doesn't respond. That's better than regretting it the rest of your life.
Best advice in this thread. Man up and send her a message. If she responds negatively or not at all then it wasn't meant to be.

Geez, I guess the world is moving too quickly for me but I didn't think talking to someone was stalking. It's not like you're waiting out in her bushes with your love knife...are you? :lol:

[nickinto]

Who the hell "peruses" Facebook? LOL

Even if she doesn't think you're a stalker, she'll ditch you for using fancy sounding words in an attempt to sound smart.

[goJays]

yes it does look creepy, but in your eyes 'she's the one' right? after several glances of stranger, most ppl will feel the same. so your creepish actions are justified. /sarcasm

hey, at least u didn't get her phone number or address from searching and used that information.

nothing wrong with just spying right? lol jk

[dhamilton]

Best advice in this thread. Man up and send her a message. If she responds negatively or not at all then it wasn't meant to be.

Geez, I guess the world is moving too quickly for me but I didn't think talking to someone was stalking. It's not like you're waiting out in her bushes with your love knife...are you? :lol:


Umm, it's virtually impossible to "accidentally" find someone on facebook without knowing any information about them. There are millions of users, and he randomly finds the one he was gawking at? If it was random, OP needs to go and buy a lottery ticket immediately. Face it, he was facebook stalking them and now wants to confirm his stalker-ish ways to this random person :)

[goob3r]

stalkerish isn't the right word. Creepy is. No matter how you spin it, she will think it's creepy.

[Jkim]

can't believe no1 mentioned this.

Just poke her. If she pokes back then she may remember you or it could be the wrong person. Oh well. Still better then sending a msg 1st =p

[phomp]

my take on it..

If you regret not talking to her on the bus, you may regret not talking to her now.

what do you have to lose? If she thinks you are some freaky stalker, she will ignore you and move on. You are back at square one, regretting not talking to her on the bus and wondering.

[daveq]

like people have already said, you have nothing to lose. why not?

[dhamilton]

like people have already said, you have nothing to lose. why not?

Except if you ever get on a gameshow where you have to tell the truth and the question is "Have you ever stalked anyone?" the OP will be embarrased on national TV by his stalker past.

Oh, and the OP will have lost his dignity for online stalking. If he doesn't go through with it, he can still save face.

[heat]

Who the hell "peruses" Facebook? LOL

Even if she doesn't think you're a stalker, she'll ditch you for using fancy sounding words in an attempt to sound smart.

:lol:
+100

[Sepiraph]

U had your chances on the bus, but I guess if she really fancy you then contacting her on FB wouldnt hurt.

[dragon_drift]

U had your chances on the bus, but I guess if she really fancy you then contacting her on FB wouldnt hurt.

+1, if you don't do it now, you will never have a chance with the ladies

[PSiBeR]

wow this is quite the random situation. You must have put in heavy hours to be searching for someone who looks similar to the one from the trip. I mean there is no function on facebook, where you can seperate your searches according to gender.. or is there? :confused: (maybe theres some app, who knows)

I say you go ahead and msg her, you really got nothing to lose, you don't know her name, never spoken to her before. The worst you'll get is an "f off" type of behaviour msg. But yea to me this comes off as borderline stalkerish.

My main question, is her profile a viewable one by everyone, but limited?
or how could you really identify the person from that small 4x3 pic? :lol:

[calcuu]

I don't think sending a message is that good. Just add her as friend and when she accepts, just use your story. You really got nothing to lose.

[MrWizard]

Flat out, you were looking for this chick. You don't "find" people accidentally on Facebook. Chances are, if you actually did find her accidentally, she is friends with one of your friends, in which case, you have an in. Otherwise, you were looking, and clearly looking hard, because it isn't always easy to identify someone from those small pics.

[IBOPM]

Flat out, you were looking for this chick. You don't "find" people accidentally on Facebook. Chances are, if you actually did find her accidentally, she is friends with one of your friends, in which case, you have an in. Otherwise, you were looking, and clearly looking hard, because it isn't always easy to identify someone from those small pics.

Even if you had a mutual friend, you can't really say "I was looking through the friends of my friend [Bob], and noticed you. Would you like to converse with me and establish a rapport?"

[Dragon120]

Haven't read through any of the posts other other users.

My suggestion would be to go ahead and message her and introduce yourself. Take the initiative and see what her response would be. Ask her if she was the "girl" from your trip, if so, fess up about not taking the initiative to approach her initiatially. If she's not the "girl", she'll let you know you've got the wrong person or she's just not interested. There's nothing to be afraid of and nothing to lose.

In terms of classifying yourself as a stalker, who cares. You have to go after what your heart desires (of course, within limits).

[jayisthebest88]

the fact that you have to ask makes me think you are creepy and you need assurance that you're not a creeper...

[Eyies]

I saw this attractive girl, and didn't have guts to approach her. Decided it was probably easier to Facebook stalk her, and then through the shield of internet conversing she may like me. I think if we chatted a bit, we might have a chance since I'm pretty good at Facebook-perusing and e-macking, still working on RL though. You guys think I should go for it?


Fixed it for ya. :twisted:

[kingkao]

Don't do it!

[nickinto]

Do it and post her reply (and the restraining order) here!

[Emancipated]

http://www.chroniclebooks.com/images/items/0811846/0811846350/0811846350_large.jpg

[hOrnizuka]

she is Asian!

[johnboy]

Unless you have another way to run into her and it sounds like you don't and if you plan on running into her by accident in real life. I guess you can forget about that.

Won't hurt of you do it. Worse can happen is that she'll think you're a stalker and you won't hear from her again. Word your message as best you can and go for there. Really, can't beat around the bush that you are trying to find her. Nothing to lose man and much to gain, potentially.

Plenty of weird incidents like this.. not sure how it panned out. Have you read about the NYC subway incident. Some dude saw the girl of his dreams. Never even talked to her and made a website to look for her and drew a sketch of her. I don't know what happened in the end, but it was on the news and was interviewed. He wasn't really deemed as a stalker. lol

GL

[mgronqui]

Anything you do online is pretty much considered stalker. You just can't win.

[dhamilton]

Anything you do online is pretty much considered stalker. You just can't win.


Stop stalking me!

[Varos]

Here's my FB related question

I met this girl about 3 years ago through a mutual friend.
Since then I had run into her maybe twice.

Recently, I started hanging out with her and the mutual friends on the weekends. This has gone on for the last 4 weekends or so. On every occasion we had a ton of fun.
I find her amazing. She's beautiful. Got a great sense of humor (laughs at all my crappy jokes). Lately I can't seem to stop thinking about her. I'm pretty sure she's aware that I like her. The mutual friend must have told her.

Anyway, the mutual friend is leaving now. I don't have the other girl's phone number or anything. Recently I added her on Facebook. I'd really love to see her again. Maybe go catch a movie, or go for a run or whatever.
Should I send her a FB message and straight up ask her if she wants to do something with me this coming weekend? or should i play it slower?

I hope she doesn't read this thread and realize how much of a wuss I am being here.

[IBOPM]

So I saw this really cute girl on facebook who was a friend of my friend. I closed the window and went about my daily business.

...

[PSiBeR]

So I saw this really cute girl on facebook who was a friend of my friend. I closed the window and went about my daily business.

...

I would assume you closed the blinds/locked the room door?

[IBOPM]

I would assume you closed the blinds/locked the room door?

Either I failed at making a joke, or you failed at understanding it.

I meant to say that seeing someone good looking (on facebook or otherwise) isn't something earth shattering. Just ignore it, because better opportunities will come without requiring stalking.

"Closed the BROWSER window."

[ndrew029]

Here's my FB related question

I met this girl about 3 years ago through a mutual friend.
Since then I had run into her maybe twice.

Recently, I started hanging out with her and the mutual friends on the weekends. This has gone on for the last 4 weekends or so. On every occasion we had a ton of fun.
I find her amazing. She's beautiful. Got a great sense of humor (laughs at all my crappy jokes). Lately I can't seem to stop thinking about her. I'm pretty sure she's aware that I like her. The mutual friend must have told her.

Anyway, the mutual friend is leaving now. I don't have the other girl's phone number or anything. Recently I added her on Facebook. I'd really love to see her again. Maybe go catch a movie, or go for a run or whatever.
Should I send her a FB message and straight up ask her if she wants to do something with me this coming weekend? or should i play it slower?

I hope she doesn't read this thread and realize how much of a wuss I am being here.

Just use the facebook message to exchange contact details with her, but nothing more. If you've been able to interact normally with her in person, there should be no problem in giving her a call.

[arsalanmustafa1989]

i am sorry the way this thread has posting its just funny! do whatever you feel like there are enough fish in the sea to experiment on!

[ndrew029]

Either I failed at making a joke, or you failed at understanding it.

I meant to say that seeing someone good looking (on facebook or otherwise) isn't something earth shattering. Just ignore it, because better opportunities will come without requiring stalking.

"Closed the BROWSER window."

I think he meant...well, "fap fap fap fap fap".

[IBOPM]

I think he meant...well, "fap fap fap fap fap".

Thanks, I knew what he meant.

[silentio]

Just say a friend found the girl's profile and go from there.

[mgronqui]

So I saw this really cute girl on facebook who was a friend of my friend. I closed the window and went about my daily business.

...


Ditto. Some people need to man up and just approach girls in person.

[IBOPM]

Ditto. Some people need to man up and just approach girls in person.

See, HE GOT IT!

[heat]

OP still hasn't responded yet!!
come on OP...don't start a thread like this and leave us hanging!

[CSAgent]

Seeing threads like these tells me there aren't many men on RFD, just a lot of little boys.

This is stalking - who honestly can tell its the same girl from a 4x3cm pic. Shiet, is she the one, be all girl of your life?? Doubtful. Get out to clubs, bars, parties, concerts, the mall even and start talking to real, live girls who are in front of you, not in front of your computer monitor.

Women want a man with confidence, do you think they want a guy who has no confidence at all? Who's going to stand up for her when the situation calls for it? You? You can't even speak to them in person how are you going to talk down on the guy or girl who's putting your woman down?

[mgronqui]

See, HE GOT IT!

Yeah, I consider myself pretty bright, ahem :lol:

To teh OP, snap out of it, it's just a girl.

[thelefteyeguy]

can't believe no1 mentioned this.

Just poke her. If she pokes back then she may remember you or it could be the wrong person. Oh well. Still better then sending a msg 1st =p

+1...then you can poke her for real :cheesygri

[goJays]

judging from the OP's username, he/she is having sexual orientation issues. hes got it bad as it is, without diverging any more info lol

in for response

[tet8suo]

I think she already forgot that there was such a teen in the tour bus!

[infinite.chaoz]

I hope she doesn't read this thread and realize how much of a wuss I am being here.

You said it, not me.

[AudiDude]

Am I the only person who was expecting to see this when I clicked on this thread??

http://www.halloweenexpress.com/images/AA158.jpg

[13sundin]

Came back from a guided tour to the US.
There was this extremely attractive girl who also happened to be on the tour, I didn't get a chance to really talk to her as she was with family and so was I. We just exchanged friendly smiles here and there. Of course by the time I realized I should have manned up and approached her during the trip, we were well on our separate ways. So I figure I admit I was a wuss, had my chance, blew it and move on. However, purely by chance I stumbled across her profile while perusing facebook (I never even got her name, but I'm pretty sure that's her). If I were to send her a message to say hi or whatever, would that make me look like some crazy stalker? It was pure coincidence, that I came across her, but I could certainly see how she might view this differently and the last thing I want is to be slapped with a restraining order. Should I send her a message or just let it go?

define stumbled :)

[BlackCrowe13]

Send her a message.. why not? life is short!

[msz006]

define stumbled :)

Stumbled - the act of stumbling.

[msz006]

Mentioning "stalker" in the subject line is one way to grab attention.
Anyways, I decided against the whole FB thing, however you lay it out, there's a degree of creepiness to it. I gave up whatever chance I had, so I move on.

[DeltasInTheSky]

Mentioning "stalker" in the subject line is one way to grab attention.
Anyways, I decided against the whole FB thing, however you lay it out, there's a degree of creepiness to it. I gave up whatever chance I had, so I move on.

Said it before, I'll say it again.
If it wasn't meant to be, it wasn't meant to be.

http://www.iconator.com//ikons/243/ICONATOR_e0a59ceeab4922966536b72e466daf67.png

[Shaner]

Said it before, I'll say it again.
If it wasn't meant to be, it wasn't meant to be.

http://www.iconator.com//ikons/243/ICONATOR_e0a59ceeab4922966536b72e466daf67.png

Except that only applies if you believe in fate. Fate to me is just like god, something I can't see, touch, taste, hear, etc. It doesn't exist in my life. If the OP doesn't approach this girl and she doesn't approach him, then it will never happen, whether it's "meant to be" or not.

If you sit back and wait for things to just happen because you think it's meant to be, you'll miss out on a whole lot.

[Dryluck]

No risk no gain.

If you found her through facebook, wouldn't you have a mutual acquaintance of some sort? Arrange a party with that acquaintance and have him or her invite the girl! You can play the "Don't I know you from somewhere..." game. :D

[thelefteyeguy]

No risk no gain.

If you found her through facebook, wouldn't you have a mutual acquaintance of some sort? Arrange a party with that acquaintance and have him or her invite the girl! You can play the "Don't I know you from somewhere..." game. :D

....you can't be real...going all that trouble ..a party?

[Frankie3s]

....you can't be real...going all that trouble ..a party?

Arrange a party and she doesn't show up but a ton of other people do? I agree, not a good decision unless the party is in your pants.