I am the best man at a Chinese wedding - What do I have to do?

[hightech]

I have been given the honor of being the best man for my friends wedding. The bride and groom are both HK Chinese and I am East Indian.

All the weddings I have attended, it was just as a guest and I bring a gift (aka $$), so I am not sure what is the responsibility of the Best Man (especially for Asian weddings).

Does anyone have any suggestions or web sites to read up on custom? I known my friend for 20 years so I want to do a good job.

Thanks

[jp06]

most likely you'd have to prepare a speech (also find an interpreter)? And think of some wedding games because typical chinese weddings will have them throughout the evening.

[crashcourse]

You'll also have to protect your friend and drink all the hard liquor toasts for him... its ok to have a drunk best man but not a drunk groom at the reception!

[yao416]

Not if you can't speak Chinese..... :|

[rfdrfd]

They are doing the "Get in the bride's door" in the morning festivities (games)??

If yes, they there's more to do in the morning of. (I'll write more if the answer is yes)


Like others said, if there are games to play on the couple at the dinner, your job is to protect your man (and bride), intercept and help drink all the toasts their "friends" will force on them. etc..

Throw him a bachelor's party, thats the same as any culture.

[Menace]

Go learn Mahjong :cheesygri :D

[GoiNGPoSTaL]

The brides maid(s).

[silentio]

One of the tasks of a best man for a chinese wedding, is that you're responsible for making sure the guests break even the cost of the wedding.

If you dont, you're to discretely pay the diference. I guess nobody told you huh.

[sexpuppet6000]

Why don't you ask the groom?!

[sweeper]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PPYRRTcuS6g&feature=related

[Byrns]

Why don't you ask the groom?!

Why would any RFD member actually go to the source? Have you not seen all the threads on "Will Bestbuy accept this..." or "How do I get to..."

[rfdrfd]

The brides maid(s).

LOL good one. But true Chinese brides always choose brides maids that are uglier than her, so they won't out shine the bride .

[Keigotw]

I have been given the honor of being the best man for my friends wedding. The bride and groom are both HK Chinese and I am East Indian.

All the weddings I have attended, it was just as a guest and I bring a gift (aka $$), so I am not sure what is the responsibility of the Best Man (especially for Asian weddings).

Does anyone have any suggestions or web sites to read up on custom? I known my friend for 20 years so I want to do a good job.

Thanks

Remember to give red pocket Money
and the bride and groom will give you red pocket money too , just accept it.
also their parents might give you red pocket money too, also just accept it.

also you should ask the bride and groom, what you have to do. They should have a list of things and a time line
and you just follow it (that is if they are organized)

[hightech]

Why don't you ask the groom?!

I did ask the groom, but I want to get different perspectives.

[hightech]

One of the tasks of a best man for a chinese wedding, is that you're responsible for making sure the guests break even the cost of the wedding.

If you dont, you're to discretely pay the diference. I guess nobody told you huh.

I'm not worried about the costs as the groom told me he would cover all the costs.

[hightech]

They are doing the "Get in the bride's door" in the morning festivities (games)??

If yes, they there's more to do in the morning of. (I'll write more if the answer is yes)


Like others said, if there are games to play on the couple at the dinner, your job is to protect your man (and bride), intercept and help drink all the toasts their "friends" will force on them. etc..

Throw him a bachelor's party, thats the same as any culture.

I was told something briefly about the game and having to bargain. All I was thinking was Russel Peters Pacific Mall skit hehe...

But seriously, what is this about?

[gmark2000]

Since this is Canada, I would presume you would organize the stag party for the guy. This usually involves drinking and strippers.

[flexwong]

I was told something briefly about the game and having to bargain. All I was thinking was Russel Peters Pacific Mall skit hehe...

But seriously, what is this about?

morning of the wedding, you and the other groomsmen and the groom will head to the bride's house to pick her up. her bridesmaids will not let you enter and you have to give them a red pocket that has money in it. basically they will be telling you to give more money etc etc or else they won't let you in.

after you get in, you can expect a series of "challenges" of sorts that have been set out for the groom. usually the physical challenges (pushups maybe, and other things) will be done by the groomsmen for the groom (so he doesn't need to get all sweaty and what not) and it probably involves reading some corny poems and stuff.

that's pretty much what the games are about in the morning.

[Atheral]

morning of the wedding, you and the other groomsmen and the groom will head to the bride's house to pick her up. her bridesmaids will not let you enter and you have to give them a red pocket that has money in it. basically they will be telling you to give more money etc etc or else they won't let you in.

after you get in, you can expect a series of "challenges" of sorts that have been set out for the groom. usually the physical challenges (pushups maybe, and other things) will be done by the groomsmen for the groom (so he doesn't need to get all sweaty and what not) and it probably involves reading some corny poems and stuff.

that's pretty much what the games are about in the morning.

Haha wow that sounds fun and hilarious! :D Get ready to defend your bro, OP!

There are some sites that may help you OP. For example, http://www.chineseweddingsbytheknot.com/articles/article.aspx?articleid=A60919094253

2) Bridesmaid Games
When the groom arrives at the bride's house, the groom's party would be met by the bride's friends, who would haggle with the groom or his representatives. They would make him perform stunts or tricks, and not "surrender" their friend until they were satisfied with red packets of money.

[UrbanPoet]

Typically your his main man. You gotta provide him with whatever help he needs!
You could be assisting in research for a banquet hall, driving beer cases/liquor bottles to the banquet hall, going with him to pick a suit etc... Just make sure you offer him help and support whenever he needs it!

Here are some main traditions for a Chinese wedding... Depending on how traditional they are, they may or may not follow them.

I dont know what its called exactly... but one tradition is when the GRooms Crew (usually the best man, his close friends and relatives) go tot he brides house and symbolically BRIBE the bride to come out! It kinda works liek a barter system... You keep on raising the stakes of Money until they give in! THe Groom will be in charge of this... So your mainly just the back up in negotiations and standing behind him.

The Tea Ceremony.
This is when The bride+groom offer Tea to all the elders as a sign of respect and for the approval of the elders to get married.
Help him hold the Red envelopes after he collects it and assist him with the tea pot tray when needed.

[puree]

I found some videos on youtube for you
best man and bridesmaids are referred to as "brothers" and "sisters" of the groom/bride in chinese
what the challenges are actually depends on what the bride's sister gang manage to come up with
they will ususally block the doorway and start by asking the groom with questions, and the "brother" gang will have to undergo "punishments" if they give the wrong answer (most of the time there is no correct answer anyway, they just want to see you guys suffer:lol: )
then after finishing everything, the last thing they'd ask for is red pocket money before letting him through to the bride

http://hk.youtube.com/watch?v=o2m4WvJ21R4
http://hk.youtube.com/watch?v=-P7tg7i_vCw
http://hk.youtube.com/watch?v=en58k9_vxDE

then at night, when the banquet is near midway, the bride & groom will go around all the banquet tables and start toasting, it's like a way of thanking the guests for coming
now the aim of the all-around toasting, for the guests anyway, is to get the groom and bride drunk, so that on the wedding night both are too drunk to "do" anything :D
so now, **Most Important** job of the brothers is to keep the groom "safe" by following him around the tables & intercepting the drinks (and so it means downing it yourself) and same for the sisters side, who is responsible for the bride (normally it's going to be red wine that's being served)
If all the brothers either gets too drunk or passes out before the toasting/banquet is over, then the groom can only fend for himself lol, so you can see how important of a job it is, since his wedding night rests in the hands of his brothers:cheesygri

[V A N Q U I S H]

Why is it that any off-topic post mentioning anything about China or Chinese people get an automatic 3 star or under?

[Atheral]

I found some videos on youtube for you
best man and bridesmaids are referred to as "brothers" and "sisters" of the groom/bride in chinese
what the challenges are actually depends on what the bride's sister gang manage to come up with
they will ususally block the doorway and start by asking the groom with questions, and the "brother" gang will have to undergo "punishments" if they give the wrong answer (most of the time there is no correct answer anyway, they just want to see you guys suffer:lol: )
then after finishing everything, the last thing they'd ask for is red pocket money before letting him through to the bride

http://hk.youtube.com/watch?v=o2m4WvJ21R4
http://hk.youtube.com/watch?v=-P7tg7i_vCw
http://hk.youtube.com/watch?v=en58k9_vxDE

then at night, when the banquet is near midway, the bride & groom will go around all the banquet tables and start toasting, it's like a way of thanking the guests for coming
now the aim of the all-around toasting, for the guests anyway, is to get the groom and bride drunk, so that on the wedding night both are too drunk to "do" anything :D
so now, **Most Important** job of the brothers is to keep the groom "safe" by following him around the tables & intercepting the drinks (and so it means downing it yourself) and same for the sisters side, who is responsible for the bride (normally it's going to be red wine that's being served)
If all the brothers either gets too drunk or passes out before the toasting/banquet is over, then the groom can only fend for himself lol, so you can see how important of a job it is, since his wedding night rests in the hands of his brothers:cheesygri

LOL! Hilarious videos, especially the 2nd and 3rd ones.

OP! Remember to have someone record it all and upload it so we can lau- er share in the happiness!

[gmark2000]

Before you get ahead of yourself, talk to the groom.

Some of these customs come from Hong Kong, some of them from China, some of them from Taiwan, etc... If the groom is a English-speaking CBC, his family might not do any of this stuff.

I'm familiar with the chicken head/chicken bum dangling by the string at a reception. Once I saw a groom so pissed that his friends starting doing this that he told them to leave.

Again, check with the groom.

[teknoluv]

You'll also have to protect your friend and drink all the hard liquor toasts for him... its ok to have a drunk best man but not a drunk groom at the reception!
THIS, I would say, is the most important job of a best man. You should have no problem drinking like 1 Litre of XO in a couple of hours, right?

[UrbanPoet]

Before you get ahead of yourself, talk to the groom.

Some of these customs come from Hong Kong, some of them from China, some of them from Taiwan, etc... If the groom is a English-speaking CBC, his family might not do any of this stuff.

I'm familiar with the chicken head/chicken bum dangling by the string at a reception. Once I saw a groom so pissed that his friends starting doing this that he told them to leave.

Again, check with the groom.


wow really? He must be a poor sport =(

[IBOPM]

The brides maid(s).

good one

I was told something briefly about the game and having to bargain. All I was thinking was Russel Peters Pacific Mall skit hehe...

But seriously, what is this about?

lol Russel Peters, don't know how well that'll fly with the older people.

Before you get ahead of yourself, talk to the groom.

Some of these customs come from Hong Kong, some of them from China, some of them from Taiwan, etc... If the groom is a English-speaking CBC, his family might not do any of this stuff.

I'm familiar with the chicken head/chicken bum dangling by the string at a reception. Once I saw a groom so pissed that his friends starting doing this that he told them to leave.

Again, check with the groom.

please clarify on this chicken head/chicken bum game.