workplace bullying-how can i tell the manager-what can they

[joe4520]

i'm working at this place as a lot attendant , been there for 3 wks so far, there is also newer guy(jeff) whos been here for 2 weeks .
so far working with the team washing cars and picking up customers has been good.
the thing is when working with jeff on the three days he is here, he would at time be little me, call me a f** idiot.
an example i was backing into a stall in the parking lot -being a tight spot and a big suv next to it, i found it hard to park. it took sometime manuevering it and playing with the steering-eventually i got it into park.
well jeff would laugh and point and say omg why didn't you park it in straight wise -omg your a f** idiot

other times he would point out in a big attitude way--- as why i am just sitting around -when i just came back from picking up a customer-i guess he didn;'t now i just came back from picking up a customer

pretty much the guy calls me f** idiot ,omg joey your such a dumb....etc,
i think it harassement and work place bullying. i'm don;t want confrontation , but i want to report it to my manager, but what happens if he does nothing about it or goes on jeff's side, i can report it to the district manager, but what happens if he parts with jeff side too. what can i do after that then. what if they fire me or transfer me to somewhere far, where i can even work.
what are some things i can do. i want to be transferred to another location if possible or even work on his days off and have a day off when he is working

i really don't like this guy

[george benjamin]

Tell your manager (not email):

"I just wanted to let you know about something going on for the past 2 weeks. I've been getting a lot of verbal abuse from jeff and i wanted to let you know that i won't tolerate it anymore. Please speak to him directly about this."

[OS44]

http://www.tbs-sct.gc.ca/pubs_pol/hrpubs/hw-hmt/phw-bhmt1_e.asp#_Toc515422953
http://www.womanabuseprevention.com/html/harassment.html

[teufel-man]

How about you stop being such a pussy

[Nettles]

My mom has this problem. She usually works with middle-aged women. She used to work as an echocardiographer at Hotel Dieu Grace Hospital. The harassment wasn't this direct but pretty much makin her life hell so she'd quit.

She has the same problem now working as a physician assistant at a walk-in clinic. Some of the other more 'established' workers are bitchy, lazy, etc.

A bit sad considering she's a doctor but has to do these sorta jobs here. That's not the point though, ppl feel really threatened by new workers sometimes or in this case, they're just douchebags. This problem isn't just with student jobs.

[djphat]

let me come get my car washed when he's working.. let me tell your manager that I heard him calling me a f'ing idiot

[scottmcl]

let me come get my car washed when he's working.. let me tell your manager that I heard him calling me a f'ing idiot

Bit of a drive for you...

but I will do it for sure!

[mork]

If this is a large national chain or something then I think you will probably find they will have some sort of harassment or respectful workplace policy in place. Most companies have zero tolerance for this sort of thing (keep in mind that harassment can be criminal as well).

Before going to your boss I would actually suggest talking to this guy.. next time he says something like that respond with a little aggression, but be sincere.. tell him "look, you talk down to me a lot and it isn't acceptable. I am here to try to make a few bucks and get some experience and I won't tolerate this.. you need to start acting more professional or I'll have to talk to our manager about it. I wish we could get a long but you're making it difficult so we at least need to be professional even if you don't like the way I park cars.." Once he realizes you have a backbone he might stop because he respects you or because he is worried you'll rat him out..

I'd also suggest keeping a little log of what he says and when (date/time). If you throw down a log in front of your manager it will be quite powerful.. much more so than just going in and being like "so-and-so is a bully".

By the way, if your manager sides with the bully, quit on the spot..

[djphat]

Before going to your boss I would actually suggest talking to this guy.. next time he says something like that respond with a little aggression, but be sincere.. tell him "look, you talk down to me a lot and it isn't acceptable. I am here to try to make a few bucks and get some experience and I won't tolerate this.. you need to start acting more professional or I'll have to talk to our manager about it. I wish we could get a long but you're making it difficult so we at least need to be professional even if you don't like the way I park cars.." Once he realizes you have a backbone he might stop because he respects you or because he is worried you'll rat him out..

I'd also suggest keeping a little log of what he says and when (date/time). If you throw down a log in front of your manager it will be quite powerful.. much more so than just going in and being like "so-and-so is a bully".

By the way, if your manager sides with the bully, quit on the spot..

You should have stopped at "...talking to this guy"

You know basically nothing about the poster nor the verbal abuser. Don't give him such bold advises. Thanks.

[joe4520]

If this is a large national chain or something then I think you will probably find they will have some sort of harassment or respectful workplace policy in place. Most companies have zero tolerance for this sort of thing (keep in mind that harassment can be criminal as well).

Before going to your boss I would actually suggest talking to this guy.. next time he says something like that respond with a little aggression, but be sincere.. tell him "look, you talk down to me a lot and it isn't acceptable. I am here to try to make a few bucks and get some experience and I won't tolerate this.. you need to start acting more professional or I'll have to talk to our manager about it. I wish we could get a long but you're making it difficult so we at least need to be professional even if you don't like the way I park cars.." Once he realizes you have a backbone he might stop because he respects you or because he is worried you'll rat him out..

I'd also suggest keeping a little log of what he says and when (date/time). If you throw down a log in front of your manager it will be quite powerful.. much more so than just going in and being like "so-and-so is a bully".

By the way, if your manager sides with the bully, quit on the spot..

well thanks anyways for your response-i thought it was helpful really. i just don;t want to get beat up by jeff if he finds out i ratted him out. hes seems to be the voilent tough guy type of person. or even get beat up by his group of friends

[OS44]

well thanks anyways for your response-i thought it was helpful really. i just don;t want to get beat up by jeff if he finds out i ratted him out. hes seems to be the voilent tough guy type of person. or even get beat up by his group of friends

have him charged for assault then, what the hell is this kind of job if where you even have to worry about getting beat up???

[jacksorbetta]

Next time you seen him sauntering up to you, set your cellphone to voice record memo. Get a nice clip of him harassing you, then head straight to the managers office, and play it for him. I'm sure that'll be enough to get rid of him tout suite.

Sorry you're dealing with this Op......no workplace should be that hostile. GL, keep us updated.

[djphat]

before you do anything you need to be sure of yourself and try to understand him.

you can't escape the reality but it's not always the reality that's making things worse as they seem.

I'm not saying that you should just ignore him but just think about how the society would view his actions and his type of mentality and wish that he will lighten up someday. some people eat meat. some people hate it and can't stand people that eat meat. some people eat vegetables and some people grow and live with one. don't just think about how it's making you feel but try to view yourself and him from a third person perspective. I think you would be in a better position to analyze the situation and come up with a better solution for yourself then.

don't hate. don't think revenge. learn to cope with people.. anyone around you. It will only help you to become wiser... and you'll understand what I am saying maybe tomorrow, maybe few years from now.. maybe you think you understand but maybe not

[hoopsandyoyo]

Check HR policy and process first....
understand the process and policy and contact the correct person, sometimes its your manager sometimes its just straight to HR (depending on how big the firm).

Some even have confidental HR lines.

[dekay]

complaining never does anything. either stand up to him or just leave. it's a lot attendant position, you can find these jobs two blocks down the road.

[UrbanPoet]

Yeah.... Its happened to me... SO i just kinda 'joked around' back with even cruder comments, I couldnt exactly report it to the manager since he WAS the manager.

I started making fun of his age & baldness (hits him where it hurts), after that we had a strange mutual respect for each other O_o. He was also 50+ and single... I could have digged deeper but i didnt want to hurt him THAT bad.

[teufel-man]

complaining never does anything. either stand up to him or just leave. it's a lot attendant position, you can find these jobs two blocks down the road.

EXACTLY

if you were working for some huge company in the corporate office and your boss was acting like this to you, then you might have to 'talk to HR about it'.

But I dont think this is uncommon at all in the type of position you are in. In student type jobs many people are dicks to each other, not to try to hurt the other persons feelings, just because they are semi-joking-around.

For example, if you were doing labour in a warehouse...no one gives a **** about the companys policies about how to treat other employees. Everyone swears at eachother but thats just the way it is and its not a serious thing its mostly just joking around.

No offense but you just seem like a softy; just stand up for yourself next time and stop letting him get under your skin. Call him a '****ing idiot' next time he parks a car wrong or whatever. Dont take it personally, this is probably just the way the guy is, and he probably acts the same way around his friends and family.

What I am trying to say is that jobs such as yours have a different culture than say, working in an office. I have worked many ****** jobs (way worse than yours, and not implying that yours is bad) and at all of them people say things like 'what the **** did you do that for' etc. You cant take it personally, just stand up for yourself.

That said if you dont fit in to that type of culture, maybe you should try to find a different type of job where people will be more proper. But I dont think your situation is that uncommon for student-type jobs.

[DBOi]

EXACTLY

if you were working for some huge company in the corporate office and your boss was acting like this to you, then you might have to 'talk to HR about it'.

But I dont think this is uncommon at all in the type of position you are in. In student type jobs many people are dicks to each other, not to try to hurt the other persons feelings, just because they are semi-joking-around.

For example, if you were doing labour in a warehouse...no one gives a **** about the companys policies about how to treat other employees. Everyone swears at eachother but thats just the way it is and its not a serious thing its mostly just joking around.

No offense but you just seem like a softy; just stand up for yourself next time and stop letting him get under your skin. Call him a '****ing idiot' next time he parks a car wrong or whatever. Dont take it personally, this is probably just the way the guy is, and he probably acts the same way around his friends and family.

What I am trying to say is that jobs such as yours have a different culture than say, working in an office. I have worked many ****** jobs (way worse than yours, and not implying that yours is bad) and at all of them people say things like 'what the **** did you do that for' etc. You cant take it personally, just stand up for yourself.

That said if you dont fit in to that type of culture, maybe you should try to find a different type of job where people will be more proper. But I dont think your situation is that uncommon for student-type jobs.

Can't take the heat get out of the kitchen

I think you need solid evidence if you are to complain to HR, so e-mail > verbal

[teufel-man]

I think you need solid evidence if you are to complain to HR, so e-mail > verbal


the fact that he has only been there for 3 weeks and filing a complaint may be seen as a bad thing.... as in the guy cant deal with problems on his own

one of the questions I have heard often in interviews is something along the lines of 'tell us about a difficult person you had to deal with and how did you solve the problem'

First I would stand up to the guy, ie. give him a taste of his own medicine, if he responds by being even more agressive then more or less 'sit him down' and say 'look your really pissing me off bla bla bla, please try being less of a dick so we can both better enjoy our jobs', and then if that doesnt work then talk to HR

your going to look like weak employee who cant deal with less-than-perfect situations if you go cry to HR just because someone is calling you names, without first trying to handle the problem yourself

[boyoflondon]

Do you by any chance work for once of the rental agencies?

Anyways, I had a similar situation, although this individual didn't dare to call me names as I would have dropped him. Instead, he thought he was jack ***** and believed he could tell me what to do, when to do it.

You just have to be strong and stick up for yourself. First step is not to care about the job! As someone said, you can find such positions left and right now days so don't be afraid to "lose" the job.

Secondly, stand up to the idiot. Be a bigger man! Don't sink to his level and call him names and such BUT do speak up for yourself. If you just shut up and take it all in, he will just continue, believing he can.

[brucemeng]

i have to agree strongly with teufel-man...

what is this... high school? Do you tell your teacher if someone pushed you around?

And for crying outloud its a lot attendant...not exactly a prestigious position here buddy... deal with it or quit!

[faken]

Go talk to jeff first. He'll be pissed if you talk to the manager first. Solve it between you two first..Let him know if he doesn't stop, you'll report this to the manager.

[djphat]

Go talk to jeff first. He'll be pissed if you talk to the manager first. Solve it between you two first..Let him know if he doesn't stop, you'll report this to the manager.

Go right a f'ing ahead you f'ing idiot. I will be watching you and counting the days left before you leave this job and be out of my sight.

How does that sound?

[ullyeus]

Go right a f'ing ahead you f'ing idiot. I will be watching you and counting the days left before you leave this job and be out of my sight.

How does that sound?

sounds like you have given him a chance and you can feel good cause you know he aint going anywhere, then talk to the manager and/or get another job.

Managers aren't stupid, if someone that works for them is blatantly costing them employees they will be dealt with.

[DBOi]

the fact that he has only been there for 3 weeks and filing a complaint may be seen as a bad thing.... as in the guy cant deal with problems on his own

one of the questions I have heard often in interviews is something along the lines of 'tell us about a difficult person you had to deal with and how did you solve the problem'

First I would stand up to the guy, ie. give him a taste of his own medicine, if he responds by being even more agressive then more or less 'sit him down' and say 'look your really pissing me off bla bla bla, please try being less of a dick so we can both better enjoy our jobs', and then if that doesnt work then talk to HR

your going to look like weak employee who cant deal with less-than-perfect situations if you go cry to HR just because someone is calling you names, without first trying to handle the problem yourself

true that

i hate those kind of questions.........

guess if you hate the environment that much , simply do what the other guy said n find a new job

[djphat]

Managers aren't stupid, if someone that works for them is blatantly costing them employees they will be dealt with.

People told me to listen to my mother, look what happened.

[GangStarr]

How about you stop being such a pussy

Yeah and learn how to park. I worked valet for a long time and people who can't park, get made fun of. Its just the way it is.

If it took you 10 minutes to figure out how to flip a burger you would get made fun of too.