Rules of pooing at work

[xmkd]

Got this email from a co-worker, almost died laughing.


Rules of pooing at work

As much as we try to convince ourselves otherwise, the WORKPOO is inevitable. For those who hate pooing at work, following is the Survival


Guide for taking a dump at work.

CROP DUSTING -- When farting, you walk briskly around the office so the smell is not in your area and everyone else gets a whiff but doesn't know where it came from. Be careful when you do this. Do not stop until the full fart has been expelled. Walk an extra 30 feet to make sure the smell has left your pants.

FLY BY -- The act of scouting out a bathroom before pooing. Walk in and
check for other pooers. If there are others in the bathroom, leave and come back again. Be careful not to become a FREQUENT FLYER. People may become suspicious if they catch you constantly going into the bathroom.

ESCAPEE -- A fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or
forcing a poo in a cubicle. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave of embarrassment. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge it. Pretend it did not happen. If you are standing next to the farter in the urinal,pretend you did not hear it. No one likes an escapee. It is uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both parties feel uneasy.

JAILBREAK -- When forcing a poo, several farts slip out at a machine gun pace. This is usually a side effect of diarrhoea or a hangover. If this should happen, do not panic. Remain in the cubicle until everyone has left the bathroom to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred.

COURTESY FLUSH -- The act of flushing the toilet the instant the poo hits the water. This reduces the amount of airtime the poo has to stink up the bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught doing the WALK OF SHAME.

WALK OF SHAME -- Walking from the cubicle, to the sink, to the door after you have just stunk up the bathroom. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if someone walks in and busts you. As with farts, it is best to pretend that the smell does not exist. Can be avoided with the use of the COURTESY FLUSH.

OUT OF THE CLOSET POOER -- A colleague who poos at work and is proud of it. You will often see an Out Of The Closet Pooer enter the bathroomwith a newspaper or magazine under his or her arm. Always look around the office for the Out Of The Closet Pooer before entering the bathroom.

THE POOING FRIENDS NETWORK (P.F.N) -- A group of co-workers who band
together to ensure emergency pooing goes off without incident. This group can help you to monitor the whereabouts of Out Of The Closet Pooers, and identify SAFE HAVENS.

SAFE HAVENS -- A seldom-used bathroom somewhere in the building where you can least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of the opposite sex. This will reduce the odds of a pooer of your sex entering the bathroom.

TURD BURGLAR -- Someone who does not realise that you are in the cubicle and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable moments that can occur when taking a poo at work. If this occurs,remain in the cubicle until the Turd Burglar leaves. This way you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact.

CAMO-COUGH -- A phoney cough that alerts all new entrants into the bathroomthat you are in a cubicle. This can be used to cover-up a WATERMELON, or to alert potential Turd Burglars. Very effective when used in conjunction with an ASTAIRE.

ASTAIRE -- A subtle toe-tap that is used to alert potential Turd Burglars that you are occupying a cubicle. This will remove all doubt that the cubicle is occupied. If you hear an Astaire, leave the bathroom immediately so the pooer can poo in peace.

WATERMELON -- A poo that creates a loud splash when hitting the toilet
water. This is also an embarrassing incident. If you feel a Watermelon
coming on, create a diversion. See CAMO-COUGH.

HAVANAOMELET -- A case of diarrhoea that creates a series of loud splashes in the toilet water. Often accompanied by an Escapee. Try using a CAMO-COUGH


UNCLE TED -- A bathroom user who seems to linger around forever. Could spend extended lengths of time in front of the mirror or sitting on the pot. An Uncle Ted makes it difficult to relax while on the crapper, as you should always wait to poo when the bathroom is empty. This benefits you as well as the other bathroom attendees.

[Phr3sh]

I'm crying :cry:

[firetrainer]

You created this account just to post this?

[xmkd]

You created this account just to post this?

I been reading rfd for a long time i just never had anything to really contribute...so i thought i would start.

[Mulder and Scully]

I know something else that's poo: This thread.

[P__S__2]

LOL that list of "techniques" is funny.

[mself084]

the courtesy flush is really under-used.

[Kommander_KornFlakes]

You created this account just to post this?

Don't understimate FearSonic's abilities in trying to fool us to post dumb stuff. I am not amazed by him. Too bad you blew his cover.

[ji2o0k]

When cubicle is referred to in the post, shouldn't they really use stalls?

Cubicle to me sounds like in the office at your desk, with your PC.

[mgronqui]

This is gold. Get a sense of humor everyone. :lol:

[GangStarr]

Also if you wear a proxy/ID card on your waist be sure to tuck that in your pocket to prevent being ID'd by neighbors in cubicles.

[xmkd]

This is gold. Get a sense of humor everyone. :lol:

At least somebody gets the thread.... :cheesygri

[Shaner]

Pretty funny.
Ignore the trolls, there's a large number of people on RFD that don't seem to be able to laugh at anything. They just crap on every post they come across.

[Mulder and Scully]

They just crap on every post they come across.

This is pretty sh1tty.

[mgronqui]

This is pretty sh1tty.

Pun intended.

[sxz]

If only people followed these more often!

[Aznsilvrboy]

Good post..very funny.

[kevthewiz]

haha this gave me a good laugh. but honestly flushing as the poo hits the water? thats just too much work on top of all the other things i have to worry about haha

[jl001]

haha this gave me a good laugh. but honestly flushing as the poo hits the water? thats just too much work on top of all the other things i have to worry about haha

Courtesy flush may result in more damage as 1) autoflush via infrared sensor is implemented at work and 2) flush force is a lot more stronger than at home - may even pull your a$$ closer to $hiat and get splashed.
Also, hard to time it right, thereby causing stronger positional energy and more splash.

[goJays]

upper decker is always fun.

[MasterXan]

these rules should be applied eveywhere outside the home

[board123]

I'm guilty of the following:

CROP DUSTING -- When farting, you walk briskly around the office so the smell is not in your area and everyone else gets a whiff but doesn't know where it came from. Be careful when you do this. Do not stop until the full fart has been expelled. Walk an extra 30 feet to make sure the smell has left your pants.

FLY BY -- The act of scouting out a bathroom before pooing. Walk in and
check for other pooers. If there are others in the bathroom, leave and come back again. Be careful not to become a FREQUENT FLYER. People may become suspicious if they catch you constantly going into the bathroom.

ESCAPEE -- A fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or
forcing a poo in a cubicle. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave of embarrassment. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge it. Pretend it did not happen. If you are standing next to the farter in the urinal,pretend you did not hear it. No one likes an escapee. It is uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both parties feel uneasy.

JAILBREAK -- When forcing a poo, several farts slip out at a machine gun pace. This is usually a side effect of diarrhoea or a hangover. If this should happen, do not panic. Remain in the cubicle until everyone has left the bathroom to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred.

WALK OF SHAME -- Walking from the cubicle, to the sink, to the door after you have just stunk up the bathroom. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if someone walks in and busts you. As with farts, it is best to pretend that the smell does not exist. Can be avoided with the use of the COURTESY FLUSH.

SAFE HAVENS -- A seldom-used bathroom somewhere in the building where you can least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of the opposite sex. This will reduce the odds of a pooer of your sex entering the bathroom.

WATERMELON -- A poo that creates a loud splash when hitting the toilet
water. This is also an embarrassing incident. If you feel a Watermelon
coming on, create a diversion. See CAMO-COUGH.

HAVANAOMELET -- A case of diarrhoea that creates a series of loud splashes in the toilet water. Often accompanied by an Escapee. Try using a CAMO-COUGH

[mbm]

funny indeed...but i think farting is mixed with pooing...title is kind of confusing

[Aznkid2000]

lol this thread amuses me

[rilhouse]

:lol:

[feelthedeal]

Ah, these are so true....

[dhamilton]

omg, I hate turd burglers

Look before you try to break into my stall thank you very much.

I need to start coughing when ppl enter.

[akky]

LOL im dying

[cn008]

:cheesygri :cheesygri :cheesygri

http://image.guardian.co.uk/sys-images/Arts/Arts_/Pictures/2007/08/10/laugh460.jpg

:lol:

http://www.swapmeetdave.com/Humor/Cats/CatLaugh.jpg

[tet8suo]

How can turd burglers happen? Don't we all lock the door while inside the stall?

[feelthedeal]

What do you do when it's a one-room washroom with a lockable door (ie. in some coffee shops) and someone knocks on the door?

Do you say "Someone's in here!" or just say nothing hoping the locked door is enough of a message?

What do you do if they continue to pester you by knocking while you're doing your business?

[whampoa]

At work we use to have a washroom bandit.

The person have to poo on the washroom floor on several occasion, either by design or just bad luck, because he cannot make the last mile to the stall.

[CSR]

Also if you wear a proxy/ID card on your waist be sure to tuck that in your pocket to prevent being ID'd by neighbors in cubicles.

I always make sure of this.

[Brandon]

:lol: that was hilarious

[DaVibe]

1. I know where all the save havens at Ryerson :lol:
2. Courtesy Flush is a must
3. No splash backs if you put toilet paper down first ... always do!
4. Uncle Ted's are horrible ... there's a time limit!

[mrlooneytoon]

LMAO. Stitches! haha Totally guilty of a couple haha

[flypretty]

:lol: :lol: :lol:

[board123]

3. No splash backs if you put toilet paper down first ... always do!
That's just a myth unless you're using that stiff kind of toilet paper. The kind that cuts your ass if you crease it too hard when you fold it.

[P__S__2]

What do you do when it's a one-room washroom with a lockable door (ie. in some coffee shops) and someone knocks on the door?

Do you say "Someone's in here!" or just say nothing hoping the locked door is enough of a message?

What do you do if they continue to pester you by knocking while you're doing your business?

Just make a fake cough.

[feelthedeal]

Just make a fake cough.

But I doubt they can hear you as some of those doors are quite thick (at least it seems like it most of the time). Even when I say "someone's in here" (quite loudly), they still keep knocking. Generally I'll let them knock until they get the idea that it's occupied, though at the cost of an anxiety crap for myself. :lol:

[sfu_lifer]

I forgot about this email. I haven't received it in a long time and this is a good refresher :lol:

Bathroom etiquette definitely needs to be more out in the open here in NA.

[DaVibe]

That's just a myth unless you're using that stiff kind of toilet paper. The kind that cuts your ass if you crease it too hard when you fold it.

Get about 4-8 squares and fold it and then place it in where you think you'll hit the bullseye. Works everytime :)

[najibs]

Who does number 2 work for?

[RVDTHPS]

this is taken from maddox's alphabet of manliness ??

[kevthewiz]

3. No splash backs if you put toilet paper down first ... always do!


Splashguarding, so essential in public washrooms.

[sfu_lifer]

this is taken from maddox's alphabet of manliness ??

Maddox prolly stole it from someone else's email too. This email has been around for ages.

[AzN_RiverdaleCI]

Maddox prolly stole it from someone else's email too. This email has been around for ages.

+1

[xmkd]

Maddox prolly stole it from someone else's email too. This email has been around for ages.

cool, never knew it has been around for some long. I just read it yesterday.

Now the question is, Who is guilty of what!, i know each and everyone of you is guilty of the one of those, lol.

[pablonutribar]

I have to admit - im an out of the closet pooer. I embrace my poos, and i always bring reading material. matter of fact, i wait until someone comes in the washroom before droppin bombs and letting farts rip. A loud fart or bomb is often followed by myself uttering "hallelujah!" or "can i get a witness!". it definitely keeps the turd burglers at bay, as a matter of fact, it makes them flee in fear. words from the wise people!!

[SLOGAN]

I'm in tears...best post ever.

I'm soo guilty of the Crop Duster.

[Evil Baby]

man, who's afraid to poo?

I deficate at least twice a day at work. Although since I'm such a frequent flyer my feces doesn't usually smell. Heck I'm in and out faster then most people who are just there to use the urinal.

[goJays]

i am also a fast pooper, but what uses up my time is the damn toilet paper dispenser.

[Topher]

That's just a myth unless you're using that stiff kind of toilet paper. The kind that cuts your ass if you crease it too hard when you fold it.

John Wayne toilet paper = it's rough, it's tough, and it don't take ***** off nobody!

[kleptodathief]

TURD BURGLAR -- Someone who does not realise that you are in the cubicle and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable moments that can occur when taking a poo at work. If this occurs,remain in the cubicle until the Turd Burglar leaves. This way you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact.


roflcopter

[andrew2good4u]

You created this account just to post this?

it was wll worth the laugh

[AnnaBanana]

A loud fart or bomb is often followed by myself uttering "hallelujah!" or "can i get a witness!".

That made me laugh so hard that i almost pooped a little...

[najibs]

That made me laugh so hard that i almost pooped a little...

:-0

[Alvito]

I been reading rfd for a long time i just never had anything to really contribute...so i thought i would start.

a very crappy start if i do say so myself

[DualSoul]

Quite amusing, as most of it is true.

[st7860]

video guide to taking a dump at work
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=POChIuK4GaU

american standard Type R 6.0L
http://img509.imageshack.us/img509/2651/closedvm6.jpg

[Canada_7]

3. No splash backs if you put toilet paper down first ... always do!
Can someone explain this one to me?

[st7860]

Can someone explain this one to me?

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=splashback
A sort of toilet tsunami. Dropping a turd from a height which hits the water, causing a tidalw wave up the pan which in turn sploshes the water over your arsecrack..
A phenomenon which defies all known physical laws when, regardless of size, density, height, force and slope, a dump fires bogwater skywards and strikes the victim directly in the butthole or genitals.

[saugaboy]

what if your company has good magazine subscriptions. i dont need to go often at work but we have magazines like Maxim, Sports Illustrated, Car and Driver and i dont often get a chance to read it cuz i dont go that often. Obviously i cant take them out to read.

sometimes i just sit in the stall just to read, is that weird?

[Menthol]

Rules, what rules. I just leave my long "snake" for the next guy to see :D

[jstaneon]

hilarious! :lol:

[corrupt123]

Hahaha, I was at Centennial (Ashtonbee) on monday and I had about 10 minutes to kill, so I went on one of those computers thats just sitting in the halls. I was about to go online and just surf around when I saw a text document on the desktop labelled "Rules for Pooing at Work" and it was word-for-word the same. Hahahaha

[Grassgreen]

I hadn't seen this one for a long time...still made me howl.

The Camo-cough is my favorite move, and I hate watermelons.

[xmkd]

Rules, what rules. I just leave my long "snake" for the next guy to see :D

i hate when people do that ****, its gross.

[Juidd]

sometimes i just sit in the stall just to read, is that weird?

eww...:| i hope you don't stay there just for the magazine when someone else comes into poo...

[RedLightning]

My company's Tokyo office occupies 8 floors of this building, and the men's bathroom on every floor has 7 bathroom stalls and 7 urinals. I've been coming down with something recently so I've been taking a lot of fluids and subsequently going to the bathroom a lot, and I notice something: the bathroom stalls are almost always all full. I guess a lot of the people here need to take shits or something. o_O

Oh, and the cleaning staff come and clean the bathroom 7 times a day (there's a sign on the wall indicating how many times the bathroom has been cleaned today and when the next cleaning is), so usually people don't bother with things like smell. O_o

btw, all the toilets here come equipped with the ass-jet (aka bidet) for cleaning your ass with a jet of warm water after you ****, but I've been too scared to try it still.

[Spor 13]

Forget the cropdust...I just let the bomb go and walk away after. A quick escape route should be planned before letting it go to minimize questioning though.

[MediumMike]

I use the SAFE HAVENS and CAMO-COUGH all the time...

[x86asm]

I guess I should post this in response:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T8AzVK6BJ8Q
:lol:

[CSR]

I tried the spash guard for the first time today.. OMG it works! hallelujah!

[Atheral]

LOL, these are hilarious!! Thanks for the laughs :D.

[Lava]

Did reading this make anyone else have to take a crap? It made me have to take one :cheesygri

[silentio]

Splash damage is a major killer.

That's why I always flush before using a toilet, and usually remember to put overlapping toilet paper prior to using it :D

[kleptodathief]

u guys ever stink up the ladies washrooms? :cheesygri

[mself084]

Beware of forwarding this email at work! I sent this to a few co-workers...and each one has described their poo habits with me, in great detail.

P.S. threads like this, and the one about the guy's co-worker gluing a bunch of spreadsheets together, are what make RFD so great.

[65505201]

Beware of forwarding this email at work! I sent this to a few co-workers...and each one has described their poo habits with me, in great detail.

P.S. threads like this, and the one about the guy's co-worker gluing a bunch of spreadsheets together, are what make RFD so great.

So you're the guy/gal everyone comes out of the closet to, huh.

[Topher]

Beware of forwarding this email at work! I sent this to a few co-workers...and each one has described their poo habits with me, in great detail.

I think this comment is just as funny as the list! ROFLMAO

P.S. threads like this, and the one about the guy's co-worker gluing a bunch of spreadsheets together, are what make RFD so great.

+1!!

[thelefteyeguy]

print it...it's good reading material for the loo

[mself084]

Must...bump.... mainly because a friend told me he walks around the office after a fart, and i was actually able to tell him the correct term for his actions.

All RFD'ers must do their part and spread this wise piece of literature! I can dream about a world concerned with bathroom etiquette.

[IBOPM]

Also if you wear a proxy/ID card on your waist be sure to tuck that in your pocket to prevent being ID'd by neighbors in cubicles.

LMAO, I saw this one before when I was at a urinal. I actually knew the guy too. Once he saw my shoe, he subsequently flipped it over.

[mgronqui]

God bless the poster that bumped this classic thread!

[flexwong]

hahhaha, hilarious stuff.

[xmkd]

i still find it funny everytime i read it, oh man.... :lol:

[Chr1s]

LOL
!!!

This thread is gold. :cheesygri :lol:

[sprung]

RE: TURD BURGLAR -- Someone who does not realize that you are in the cubicle and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable moments that can occur when taking a poo at work. If this occurs,remain in the cubicle until the Turd Burglar leaves. This way you will avoid all .

Ok, time for a confession. Back in high school I walked into the 'Hooker Harveys' on Jarvis. For some reason i felt like kicking open the nearest stall thinking it empty and believing it'd be cool. Anyways, it wasn't empty. There was a guy in there reading the newspaper and enjoying his afternoon dump.

For both of us is was shocking but he felt most vulnerable for sure.

There wasn't any way to avoid 'uncomfortable eye contact'. I mumbled an apology and took off feeling so embarrassed, although probably not as much as him.

Later i reasoned that the stall kick was probably due to all the Van Damme and Seagal movies I was watching at the time.

Oh, I feel better now and have forgiven myself :lol:

[st7860]

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Poophoria
Describes the peaceful, euphoric state that one reaches after taking a blue ribbon poo. Symptoms of poophoria include feeling lightheaded, serene, and generally oblivious to the world around you. Usually wears off in 3-5 minutes.

[aelam]

OMG this thread is golden. My stomach hurts.

[dragon_drift]

RE: TURD BURGLAR -- Someone who does not realize that you are in the cubicle and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable moments that can occur when taking a poo at work. If this occurs,remain in the cubicle until the Turd Burglar leaves. This way you will avoid all .

Ok, time for a confession. Back in high school I walked into the 'Hooker Harveys' on Jarvis. For some reason i felt like kicking open the nearest stall thinking it empty and believing it'd be cool. Anyways, it wasn't empty. There was a guy in there reading the newspaper and enjoying his afternoon dump.

For both of us is was shocking but he felt most vulnerable for sure.

There wasn't any way to avoid 'uncomfortable eye contact'. I mumbled an apology and took off feeling so embarrassed, although probably not as much as him.

Later i reasoned that the stall kick was probably due to all the Van Damme and Seagal movies I was watching at the time.

Oh, I feel better now and have forgiven myself :lol:

lol :-0

[ygtgxi]

+1

really funny

[Uncle Cool]

At my work, the cleaning lady comes in whether anyone's in there or not and does her cleaning.

[st7860]

At my work, the cleaning lady comes in whether anyone's in there or not and does her cleaning.

maybe you could sue your company for sexual harassment - lol

[Sepiraph]

I think printing this and taping it to the back of the washroom stall tonight! :D

[ji2o0k]

ROk, time for a confession. Back in high school I walked into the 'Hooker Harveys' on Jarvis. For some reason i felt like kicking open the nearest stall thinking it empty and believing it'd be cool. Anyways, it wasn't empty. There was a guy in there reading the newspaper and enjoying his afternoon dump.

For both of us is was shocking but he felt most vulnerable for sure.

bwahahhahah..........that is hilarious. Reminds me of my buddies in highschool.

One time, two buddies thought another friend was in the bathroom taking a dump. So the two of them go in and kick the stall door really hard (and it was loud).

They run out to the cafeteria, laughing. Lo and behold, the buddy they THOUGHT was in the bathroom was sitting in the cafe - eating lunch. They have no idea who was in the stall but pretty sure they scared the crap out of them.

[mcdullgamer]

funny!

[metro]

maybe you could sue your company for sexual harassment - lol

ZING

taken from the thread where Uncle Loser wants to sue the TTC everytime a driver has to make a quick stop.

click here to read (http://http://www.redflagdeals.com/forums/showthread.php?t=610699)

[Uncle Cool]

Uncle Cool, to you.

[Peckerwood]

And to think that my "How do you wipe your poopie?" thread was locked and deleted.

:lol:

I think the answer to all of those methods in the first post is simple...Just shut up and poop already.

Drop a coiler and be on with it...pinch a loaf...float a log...nip a bud...let rip the tides of eve.

Now...How do YOU wipe your poopie?

a) Folded on the dotted lines
b) Folded, but damned be any lines
c) Rolled up into a ball
d) Wrapped around the hand
e) No more than 3 pieces (eco sensitive)
f) Half a roll (eco insensitive)
g) With the fingers of my left hand
h) With the fingers of my right hand
i) What is toilet paper?
j) I don't wipe...I air dry



:lol:

[kasianman]

Ugh
I hate Uncle Ted.
You know what I hate more? Uncle Ted Turd Burglar hybrid

My stomach was hurting, and I was sitting in the toilet for a good 15 minutes.
I guess he was also waiting for me to finish. I took my sweet time, and then all of a sudden, he starts to frantically knock on the cubical.
I had to CAMO-COUGH and ASTAIRE for some time before he stopped and went out (and probably soiled his pants :lol: )

[Cacti]

This is gold. Get a sense of humor everyone. :lol:

:lol: Seems like RFD has lost theirs. Why so serious?

[najibs]

I'm on the toilet right now, while I type this and read this thread. Thank God for Wifi. I wish companies would equip washrooms with it for those who enjoy the slow dump :twisted:

[Kieraw]

I'm on the toilet right now, while I type this and read this thread. Thank God for Wifi. I wish companies would equip washrooms with it for those who enjoy the slow dump :twisted:

According to Seinfeld, you have just "flagged" your laptop.. :lol:

[mic2074]

LOL... my third time reading this (was emailed to me the other time)... still funny as hell.

how would someone handle this... one time I had a bad stomach problem, and rushed to the washroom, took the last stall (3 stalls in total), the first stall was out of order.... I just sat down, when some dude comes to the stall next to me - and we just started ripping... I try to keep myself from cracking up... think he was doing the same. I just waited till he was done and left before I got out of there.

[BlueMax]

Pretty funny.
Ignore the trolls, there's a large number of people on RFD that don't seem to be able to laugh at anything. They just crap on every post they come across.

Screaming and throwing excrement like howler monkeys!
http://redwing.hutman.net/~mreed/Assets/howlers.jpg

[Jkim]

:lol: this thread is hilarious :D

[ace1919]

what a coincidence that this thread just got bumped. just this morning, i was really bored, so i clicked randomly on various pages of threads in the OT section to pass the time. that was when I came across this topic for the first time.

As of this morning, i think this thread was on page 50 or 51.

[Siefer999]

http://img257.imageshack.us/img257/3920/picturerc6.jpg (http://imageshack.us)
http://img257.imageshack.us/img257/3920/picturerc6.5eb7ec4f4c.jpg (http://g.imageshack.us/g.php?h=257&i=picturerc6.jpg)

this sign should be posted everywhere. some people just dont understand where poo goes cause the cleaners complain that the washrooms (99% of the time its the womans) have poo beside the toilet. hovering accident?

[Peckerwood]

http://usera.imagecave.com/peckerwood/toilet2.jpg

[Siefer999]

http://usera.imagecave.com/peckerwood/toilet2.jpg

that is hilarious.

[N_Raged]

Man the workplace is a dirty place.

[sprung]

wait until Toronto gets these automated public toilets

http://www.cbc.ca/gfx/images/news/photos/2008/04/15/bc-080415-toilet3.jpg

you'll have just 15 minutes to do your business then the door will open automatically.

Link to news item. (http://www.eontarionow.com/health/2008/07/28/toronto-receives-public-toilet-advice/)

[IBOPM]

wait until Toronto gets these automated public toilets

http://www.cbc.ca/gfx/images/news/photos/2008/04/15/bc-080415-toilet3.jpg

you'll have just 15 minutes to do your business then the door will open automatically.

Link please!

[joeym]

And to think that my "How do you wipe your poopie?" thread was locked and deleted.

:lol:

I think the answer to all of those methods in the first post is simple...Just shut up and poop already.

Drop a coiler and be on with it...pinch a loaf...float a log...nip a bud...let rip the tides of eve.

Now...How do YOU wipe your poopie?

a) Folded on the dotted lines
b) Folded, but damned be any lines
c) Rolled up into a ball
d) Wrapped around the hand
e) No more than 3 pieces (eco sensitive)
f) Half a roll (eco insensitive)
g) With the fingers of my left hand
h) With the fingers of my right hand
i) What is toilet paper?
j) I don't wipe...I air dry



:lol:

http://i191.photobucket.com/albums/z195/FearMeIAmLag/chuck_norris_toilet_paper.jpg

[DraGooN-]

i don't think this one has been posted yet

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IzO1mCAVyMw

[Kerlo]

http://www.justadrop.ca/justadrop/index.html

I use it all the time! It's AWESOME and a bottle last for about 6 months!

You can get it from walmart in the toilet paper section.

[rfdrfd]

The best part about pooing at work is, you get PAID for doing it ! Depending on your hourly rate (salary), and the number of watermelons you have, you can count...

DUMP... splash..... $5

DUMP... splash..... $10

DUMP... splash..... $15

[goleafsgo_22]

This post does have a funny smell!!:D :D :cheesygri

[desi_eng]

The best part about pooing at work is, you get PAID for doing it ! Depending on your hourly rate (salary), and the number of watermelons you have, you can count...

DUMP... splash..... $5

DUMP... splash..... $10

DUMP... splash..... $15

I think the original poem goes something like this:

Theres nothing as sweet, theres nothing as FINE
As taking a dump on company TIME!!!! :D :D :D

[Topher]

I think the original poem goes something like this:

Theres nothing as sweet, theres nothing as FINE
As taking a dump on company TIME!!!! :D :D :D

Free wireless while you're getting paid to poo is slightly better! LOL

[imoo2u]

Offbeat ... for those who poo at work, please clean up your own **** ie flush the sh@t away once finished (maybe a few times if you know that yours is too much to go in one flush) and don't leave a mess like blocking up with all sorts other than your sh@t as the next person (maybe you) need to do his emergency sh@tting.