The sick game

[Spidey]

Lately our kids have been playing the sick game, mostly our oldest boy. Its gotten so bad we dont tell him when we have a day off, because ironically they are sick that day.

I get personal days from work, about 5 a year. I dont say when I am taking them now because if I do, somone seems to be sick that day.

My wife gets them to being a teacher, and the same thing happens.

Bad thing to say, sure. But a personal day is a personal day, not a watch your kid at home while he fakes being sick day.

Or Grandma watchs them, so its like a holiday for them at her house.

Im sure as parents we have all come across it. We have asked repeatedly if there are problems at school, etc.

Now when they do this, we make them stay in their bed. No tv, no video games, etc. Hey if your sick, your sick right.

Or they call us from school , I have a headache, etc, etc.

We say we will not pick them up unless they are actually puking

As a parent is this bad. I knwo when I was a kid you never got to go home from school, unless you were actually throwing up.

If my kids legitmily sick sure, then one of us stays home. But the little fake sickeness's that seem to clear up my 11 have to go.

Is it being a bad parent when you say you have to go to school when they are sick, well, fake sick

[deep]

I feel for you Spidey. It's tough to know when you're being "tough but fair" and when you're being mean.

With my 6 year old, who has complained of headaches on occasion both to us and to his teacher, we had a long conversation about what a headache is, and how it prevents you from doing ANYTHING. If you have a headache that is bad enough to keep you from school, it will prevent you from doing anything even remotely resembling fun....possibly for days on end ;). Interestingly enough, his teacher says he hasn't complained about a headache since then.

I had migraines when I was a kid, and missed a fair amount of school between the ages of 8-12. So I know how hard it is to go to school when you're feeling miserable. However, I never used it to skip school, and I definitely won't tolerate that in my own kids.

Keep on keepin' on!

[Spidey]

I feel for you Spidey. It's tough to know when you're being "tough but fair" and when you're being mean.

With my 6 year old, who has complained of headaches on occasion both to us and to his teacher, we had a long conversation about what a headache is, and how it prevents you from doing ANYTHING. If you have a headache that is bad enough to keep you from school, it will prevent you from doing anything even remotely resembling fun....possibly for days on end ;). Interestingly enough, his teacher says he hasn't complained about a headache since then.

I had migraines when I was a kid, and missed a fair amount of school between the ages of 8-12. So I know how hard it is to go to school when you're feeling miserable. However, I never used it to skip school, and I definitely won't tolerate that in my own kids.

Keep on keepin' on!

I know what ya mean. It seems to be less now that we dont let them do anything but lay in bed. Before we used to let them lay on the couch and watch tv, etc.

But now confined to their room to get better, they probably get very bored and think that being in school is better than being bored.

Same as supper time and desert. Im full, can I have some dessert. Well if your to full to finish your supper, your to full for dessert :lol:

[raptorfan]

OMG it's my son to a T!! Almost word for word!!! The exact same here, I won't tell him if I'm off or if I do I make it clear he's not to be magically ill that day. He's 12 now and tries it once in a while but I say tough it out, back to class. Only once was he really sick when I came to get him. I find the school (who doesn't have a choice, I know) is really quick to call too. I've even said unless he's in signs of obvious distress, send him to class but they can't make that decision. I spoke to him and his teachers but nothing was going on. To be quite honest, I love him but he doesn't have "the highest pain or sickness threshold" ;) Really, except keep drilling in his head it better be urgent, there's not much to be done AND I make him stay in bed which drives him nuts. It has gotten better as he's gotten older 'cause there's homework to be made up too! Good luck I know it's annoying and you feel like a bad parent at times (been there!) but as a parent you also know when they're really sick and when they're not and just don't want to be at school. Maybe a talk with the teacher(s) may shed some light?

[Spidey]

OMG it's my son to a T!! Almost word for word!!! The exact same here, I won't tell him if I'm off or if I do I make it clear he's not to be magically ill that day. He's 12 now and tries it once in a while but I say tough it out, back to class. Only once was he really sick when I came to get him. I find the school (who doesn't have a choice, I know) is really quick to call too. I've even said unless he's in signs of obvious distress, send him to class but they can't make that decision. I spoke to him and his teachers but nothing was going on. To be quite honest, I love him but he doesn't have "the highest pain or sickness threshold" ;) Really, except keep drilling in his head it better be urgent, there's not much to be done AND I make him stay in bed which drives him nuts. It has gotten better as he's gotten older 'cause there's homework to be made up too! Good luck I know it's annoying and you feel like a bad parent at times (been there!) but as a parent you also know when they're really sick and when they're not and just don't want to be at school. Maybe a talk with the teacher(s) may shed some light?

We've talked to his teachers about it. See if maybe it was a bullying issue, etc. He says that he is bored at school sometimes. We told the teachers that, so will see if he is put into some advanced classes or something.

It has gotten better around here to, expecially since we make them stay in bed. And thats the entire day, not just till school is done, which amazingly is when some of there sicknesses are done.

Oh its 3 o'clock, guess Im better now and can watch some tv :lol:

[raptorfan]

We've talked to his teachers about it. See if maybe it was a bullying issue, etc. He says that he is bored at school sometimes. We told the teachers that, so will see if he is put into some advanced classes or something.

It has gotten better around here to, expecially since we make them stay in bed. And thats the entire day, not just till school is done, which amazingly is when some of there sicknesses are done.

Oh its 3 o'clock, guess Im better now and can watch some tv :lol:

:lol: :lol: yep! or go out snowboarding etc....

[3weddings]

Around here it's 'My tummy hurts'. All I have to do is show them the Pepto bottle and they are miraculously cured!!!

I have the same rules. Heck the school doesn't even call me anymore when they get hurt (the middle daughter is a tombaoy :D ) because they know I am not coming to get them. No blood, no mommy!

I know many won't agree with us here Spidey, but we'll end up with some tough kids who are capable of making their own decisions.

[Spidey]

Around here it's 'My tummy hurts'. All I have to do is show them the Pepto bottle and they are miraculously cured!!!

I have the same rules. Heck the school doesn't even call me anymore when they get hurt (the middle daughter is a tombaoy :D ) because they know I am not coming to get them. No blood, no mommy!

I know many won't agree with us here Spidey, but we'll end up with some tough kids who are capable of making their own decisions.

My parents never came and got me either, unless of course it was a major injury or something. I had to stick it out. Pkus when yu had parents that farmed, good luck catching them in the house anyways. This was definitly pre cellphone days, and they sure as hell didnt have an answering machine.

As parents we have to be parents, not friends. Which unfortunatly is what lots of parents try to do. Im one of the decision makers, and sometimes you have make decisions that kids defitly dont like.

I currently keep track of lights left on in rooms, etc. Each pay day for the last while Ive been collecting a $1 each time to help pay for power, so they understand that power, or heat, or water, arent free.

May sound mean, but lights arent being left on anymore in their rooms

[CSK'sMom]

LOL! No surprises here, I am in Spidey and 3weddings camp as well. Fake sickness just doesn't fly in this house, even now that the oldest is 18. He signed himself out of school the other day and came home to disappear to "the cave". About 7pm he comes up and says he's going to meet his GF. I was like nope, you were too sick to stay at school you're not going anywhere! I got the "damn, I'm busted" look and he crawled back into his cave, LOL!

I hear ya Steph on the blood thing, even then, unless it needs stitches I don't want to hear about it. Our 12 yr old came with a long, ranmbling letter in her agenda last week that I just shook my head at. Her teacher, I swear, wrote an essay about how another girl scratched her neck while they were playing basketball in gym class. Honest to God, there was a barely pink, tiny spot on her neck. I just shook my head. :confused:

[Spidey]

LOL! No surprises here, I am in Spidey and 3weddings camp as well. Fake sickness just doesn't fly in this house, even now that the oldest is 18. He signed himself out of school the other day and came home to disappear to "the cave". About 7pm he comes up and says he's going to meet his GF. I was like nope, you were too sick to stay at school you're not going anywhere! I got the "damn, I'm busted" look and he crawled back into his cave, LOL!

I hear ya Steph on the blood thing, even then, unless it needs stitches I don't want to hear about it. Our 12 yr old came with a long, rambling letter in her agenda last week tat I just shook my head at. Her teacher,I swear, wrote an essay about ow another girl scratched her neck while they were playing basketball in gym class. Honest to God, there was a barely pink, tiny spot on her neck. I just shook my head. :confused:

I think their will be a generation coming up "made of glass" as I call it. I'm with you on the blood thing, and unless its not cured with a band-aid, I'm not worried about it.

Then their crying, and their head hurts because their crying. Or they forget what their crying about, they just now that they were crying and should continue. That isn't as bad now since they are older, but it used to be an issue with me.

It gets better with age I guess, but then other things kick in. I'm a few years away from the teenager years, oldest is 11. But by now I'm sure they know not to screw with dad really. They keep trying their little games, doesn't work on me :lol:

I remember this summer and someone was talking about kids and sneaking out at night. I told them that wont be happening with mine, due to rules or punishments after, etc. He laughed and said right. Of course he has kids that are an absolute nightmare and get away with everything.

I told him to call me in a few years and see if I made it stick.

Its not that Im a mean father, I just want them growing up knowing the difference between right and wrong, or if they make bad decisions how to cope with them. I want them to be prepared for life, to know when someone it trying to shaft you (say the mechanic when he says you need a new "foo-foo" valve) I know people in their mid 20's that dont know how to change a flat tire, becaue AMA is there. Or if something happens to their car they have no idea what problem to look for.

Im fun with my kids to, we go sliding, swimming, hiking, etc. Out of all the dads I know, Im the one that plays with my kids doing silly things. Im in the ball pit with them, Im the one playing at the park on the monkey bars while the rest of them sit on the bench and watch. When Im checking my vehicles on Sundays (oil, tire pressure, etc) they are out there with me learning these things. When Im cutting up a deer for steaks, they are helping me, so they know where their food comes from, just not the shelf at the store.

They say Im mean when they dont get their way, but i say "You dont know what mean is yet"

[CanadaBoy]

I haven't missed a class/been late once this year. I am in my last year of high school.

It because my parents didn't pussy me when I was younger, if I left my lunch at home (once) then gg for me. When I was 5 or 6? I learned...

Even if I feel sick or have a headache I still go to school. I don't wanna pull any minor fakers and get used to this get out of jail free card.

This is why my parents trust me to do whatever after school.

[Topher]

I hope this isn't a sign of what I have coming down the road, but I'm a harda** and don't let my kids get away with anything. My wife is the pushover. Stuff gets done when she says "I'm going to tell dad...." LOL

My son is 8 and has learned some choice words at the school (we don't use them at home), and so he goes without his video games every time we find out. Unfortunately for him, he hasn't put 2 and 2 together to figure out how to get his games back consistently! He also tells us that he doesn't have homework, or that he already did it, or even worse, that he turned it in, after we sat with him to make sure it was done properly, and they all turn out to be lies! One of these days, I'll tell him that I'll set up the video games, and then not do it and see if he likes being lied to. Oh well, learn it the hard way then.

My daughter (6) always has these mysterious pains. Yesterday it was her neck that hurt because she accidentally got hit there with a basketball. Usually it's one of her legs or feet that hurts and she wants Mom to rub it. I never get asked, because I don't do it. I make her get up and walk around really fast to strengthen the muscles so we don't have the aches and pains. Funny how she never tells me about them anymore.

My kids know that dad can be a fun guy, but doesn't put up with nonsense. The only problem is, my wife's bark is much worse than her bite, and the kids have figured out which buttons to push. She's starting to improve, but I have to keep coaching her along.

As parents we have to be parents, not friends.

Very well said, and pretty much describes most of the problems we hear about today. Guns in schools, drugs, etc. I'm sure if we all started acting like parents, we'd see a lot of problems going away. It's just a shame that there are bad parents out there setting bad examples.

[Spidey]

Very well said, and pretty much describes most of the problems we hear about today. Guns in schools, drugs, etc. I'm sure if we all started acting like parents, we'd see a lot of problems going away. It's just a shame that there are bad parents out there setting bad examples.


I agree. Everyone blames the kids or soceity, or video games, or movies, etc. WEll if its video games and movies, why are the parents letting these kids play them.

My son has friends his age playing Grand Theft Auto and the like. Those games arent even allowed in our house. I have the game Scarface, but I put it away when Im done, and I only play it after the kids are in bed.

So as a parent and your kids play those games and then does those things he sees, whos to blame, the child. Its the parent whos at fault that lets them play it

Sure you cant watch your kid all the time and see what he plays or watches, but you can at least teach them that they shouldnt be playing or watching those types of things or aqt least make sure the can tell the difference between fantasy and reality.

[CSK'sMom]

Don't get me going on video games guys! I am always amazed at the parents who have absolutely no idea what is in the games that they buy for their kids. I know people who have bought "M" rated games for 5-8 yr olds! I said to them did you even read the game description? Do you realize what the game is actually about? They look at me with that zombie look and say no, their kid asked for it so they bought it for them! :eek: :rolleyes: With that said, our boys didn't even have an XBox till they were in highschool and bought their own because we wouldn't buy one for them (bought their own XBox 360 this past summer as well). They had a Gamecube which we felt was appropriate when we bought them a system when they were younger. We don't generally buy them games either at this point, they buy their own but any questionable games need to be put away so their 12 yr old sister doesn't come across them...

I agree with you guys though, it's about being a parent to our kids and not a friend. We still parent our 18 yr old, it's still not the time to be his friend yet.

[Spidey]

Don't get me going on video games guys! I am always amazed at the parents who have absolutely no idea what is in the games that they buy for their kids. I know people who have bought "M" rated games for 5-8 yr olds! I said to them did you even read the game description? Do you realize what the game is actually about? They look at me with that zombie look and say no, their kid asked for it so they bought it for them! :eek: :rolleyes: With that said, our boys didn't even have an XBox till they were in highschool and bought their own because we wouldn't buy one for them (bought their own XBox 360 this past summer as well). They had a Gamecube which we felt was appropriate when we bought them a system when they were younger. We don't generally buy them games either at this point, they buy their own but any questionable games need to be put away so their 12 yr old sister doesn't come across them...

I agree with you guys though, it's about being a parent to our kids and not a friend. We still parent our 18 yr old, it's still not the time to be his friend yet.


Our oldest has been wanting a PS2 for the last 3-4 years. RFD had that great sale in October for one for $89, so we thought we would break down and get it for him for Christmas. Plus he saved up for about half since we wanted to buy one.

All the games he has are E for everyone, except one I bought that was a T rating, buts its a boxing one and pretty harmless actually.

Ratings are definitly there for a reason. Scarface has it for a reason, I think the first words you hear in the game are fcuk