How much gift money per person for a Chinese wedding dinner?

[sailormoon]

We are invited to a Chinese banquet type wedding soon. I am told that Chinese prefers to have cash as wedding gifts (put the cash in the red envelope per se).

So, what is the typical per person gift money nowadays?

Thanks for your input in advance.

[tet8suo]

relatives => $100+ for each person to attend
close friends => $100 for each person to attend
others => $60-80 for each person to attend

I don't usually give cash, write a check or money order,
especially if you're giving a generous amount, they'll remember :D

[Audiogenic]

It depends on your relation with the person and the actual reception venue itself. By by the way, be prepared for lots of games at the start and then half the people leaving after dinner because they are too antisocial to dance.

[pupazzo]

Do not give less than 100 unless you want to be remembered as the cheap one. Now days 300 per couple is average.

[Siefer999]

usually minimum approx. $100/person

but yea, just give whatever you feel like. i really dont think they are going to hold it against you if you give $80.

i've always given $100 since its a nice round number

[almostfreeman]

$50 more than a Hungarian wedding , $20 less than an Indian ...

+ $40 for mainland, -$60 for HK, +$100 if bride speaks Mandarin and the groom Cantonese ;)

[JAGpilot]

Give what you want. If your Chinese they know that you know the "culture" of gift giving at chinese weddings. They don't expect non-Chinese guests do to the whole red envelope thing and the $$$$ gifts. I'd say about $100 per person or so depending on how close you are to them.

[4flava]

I usually do $150.00 for friends and $200 for relatives per person.

[myversa]

so the money is in Cash or gift cards?

I have two banquet coming up and this my first wedding dinner in Canada so this thread might save me time to look up information on this...

[Atomic Chip]

usually minimum approx. $100/person

but yea, just give whatever you feel like. i really dont think they are going to hold it against you if you give $80.

i've always given $100 since its a nice round number

Exactly right.

[ferkel]

I usually do $150.00 for friends and $200 for relatives per person.

Yep.. $200 per person if the venue/food is at a nice place that costs $
$100 doesn't even cover the couples weddings cost these days... but thats their fault to spend so much right? :)

[and or]

A multiple of $50 bills (red money).

[ggs]

100 is pretty default.

[UrbanPoet]

the magic number is $100 or somewhere around that!

[Kranberry]

Yep.. $200 per person if the venue/food is at a nice place that costs $
$100 doesn't even cover the couples weddings cost these days... but thats their fault to spend so much right? :)

I don't mind giving $$ when it is right to do so, but a couple getting married should not EXPECT the guests to cover their wedding costs. The way you are saying is they should sell tickets to their wedding so they can make a profit! :lol:

If they want to have a venue/food that is expensive, don't expect me to give $$$ just because you chose that place, that is the couples decision not mine, I give $$ in relation to how I know the person, not the venue.

So for coworkers I'd give $50-$100 depending on how close, friends $100, relatives more...

[molala]

relatives => $100+ for each person to attend
close friends => $100 for each person to attend
others => $60-80 for each person to attend

I don't usually give cash, write a check or money order,
especially if you're giving a generous amount, they'll remember :D

I would rather receive cash...my friend got an NSF cheque last year for the wedding and she feels intimatated to ask the person money back......i think people prefers cash either way...save you a transaction and cheque...


I would give a $100/pp cash or in gift card...i think in canada...u don't really need the red pocket.....i bought greeting cards from hallmark before and it works alrite

[profguy]

Yep.. $200 per person if the venue/food is at a nice place that costs $
$100 doesn't even cover the couples weddings cost these days... but thats their fault to spend so much right? :)

I thought the point of the wedding was to celebrate - not to break even or try for a profit.

In my opinion don't spend more on the wedding than you can afford - gifts are a bonus. Do you invite people that you like or do you get those that will pay. If anyone expects a certain amount (i.e $100 - 200 per person) then who do I complain to if the food and drinks are bad. And people should give what they can afford.

It seems like there is a lot of generous RFDs here - at $100 - 150 per person at that rate most of these weddings will show a profit.

[Kerby]

$100 pp is satisfactory

It costs approx.$75 pp for the food and drink at a "standard" Chinese banquet, so giving $100 covers your plate and leaves them an extra something too.

But $150 per couple is also satisfactory, depending on your income.

[Jumbotron]

What's the protocol if you don't aren't going to the reception? Parents say I still need to buck-up, I don't think I need to since I'm not going to cost them anything.

I'm not being cheap - it's an invite from the parents of someone I don't know very or well, which I haven't seen in almost 15 years.

[lost~user]

What's the protocol if you don't aren't going to the reception? Parents say I still need to buck-up, I don't think I need to since I'm not going to cost them anything.

I'm not being cheap - it's an invite from the parents of someone I don't know very or well, which I haven't seen in almost 15 years.

I'd say buy them a gift instead.....

[Jumbotron]

I'd say buy them a gift instead.....

They were married a year ago and not registered anywhere - not knowing them, makes gift buying difficult. stumped.

[UrbanPoet]

I thought the point of the wedding was to celebrate - not to break even or try for a profit.

In my opinion don't spend more on the wedding than you can afford - gifts are a bonus. Do you invite people that you like or do you get those that will pay. If anyone expects a certain amount (i.e $100 - 200 per person) then who do I complain to if the food and drinks are bad. And people should give what they can afford.

It seems like there is a lot of generous RFDs here - at $100 - 150 per person at that rate most of these weddings will show a profit.

I think $100 will cause people to break even...
I see "table" prices for weddings @ Chinese restaurants. Its usually about $750\table for your basic stuff. Assuming theres 7 people sitting @ a table comfortably, you break even if people are giving $100 per person...

Theres always going to be cheap people paying $50-$80
You also have to factor in the cost of having an open Bar.

[profguy]

I think $100 will cause people to break even...
I see "table" prices for weddings @ Chinese restaurants. Its usually about $750\table for your basic stuff. Assuming theres 7 people sitting @ a table comfortably, you break even if people are giving $100 per person...

Theres always going to be cheap people paying $50-$80
You also have to factor in the cost of having an open Bar.

You missed my point, nobody is disputing the cost here - heck some cost way more than $750/table. My point - are the guests paying for the wedding that the couple want - ie if it is $1000/table plus other cost then it is $200/person? My point is that it is poor taste to expect guest to pay the cost after all they invited you to a celebration not to a paid dinner. That doesn't meen you don't provide a gift - just not a set amount and only what you can afford. Otherwise why stop at $750/table and be "cheap" according to the RFD's and go all out for $1500/table after all you can pass on the cost to your guests.

What is your definition of a wedding guest? For me "Cheap" is a guy who puts on a wedding and then expects to recoup the cost from the guest.

[Kranberry]

I think $100 will cause people to break even...
I see "table" prices for weddings @ Chinese restaurants. Its usually about $750\table for your basic stuff. Assuming theres 7 people sitting @ a table comfortably, you break even if people are giving $100 per person...

Theres always going to be cheap people paying $50-$80
You also have to factor in the cost of having an open Bar.

$80 does not necessarily mean cheap. So what if I give $80.01 I'm no longer cheap? I agree with profguy, inviting someone to your banquet does not mean you should expect people to pay for your banquet costs.

You missed my point, nobody is disputing the cost here - heck some cost way more than $750/table. My point - are the guests paying for the wedding that the couple want - ie if it is $1000/table plus other cost then it is $200/person? My point is that it is poor taste to expect guest to pay the cost after all they invited you to a celebration not to a paid dinner. That doesn't meen you don't provide a gift - just not a set amount and only what you can afford. Otherwise why stop at $750/table and be "cheap" according to the RFD's and go all out for $1500/table after all you can pass on the cost to your guests.

What is your definition of a wedding guest? For me "Cheap" is a guy who puts on a wedding and then expects to recoup the cost from the guest.

+1 I couldn't have set it better myself.

[always]

with all thats said... i really dont think its a matter of being cheap or not. when it comes down to deciding the money gift, just go about it logically and put yourself in the newly weds shoes. consider the amount you would like to be given and go from there.

most chinese weddings dont go by the number of people, its always by the number of tables. each table has about 8 - 12 people, it varies from restaurant to restaurant, and averages around $1200 per table. now it differs greatly for each wedding, but i'd say the average would be around 150 - 200 people. now lets say the worst case scenario is that all 200 people came and gave the newly weds 200 toasters. but i guess thats cool and all right because its their celebration and hey, its free food. who cares if the bride and groom have to pay for everything out of their own pocket. (in all honesty though, the wedding is usually paid for by the parents of the bride and groom, although thats not always the case).

with that said... if you cant afford to, no ones going to hold it against you for not giving anything. being there is going to be enough for them. however, if you can afford it, i'd recommend being considerate enough to pay for your dinner and a decent wedding gift.

[profguy]

[QUOTE=always;5389066]with all thats said... i really dont think its a matter of being cheap or not. when it comes down to deciding the money gift, just go about it logically and put yourself in the newly weds shoes. consider the amount you would like to be given and go from there.

most chinese weddings dont go by the number of people, its always by the number of tables. each table has about 8 - 12 people, it varies from restaurant to restaurant, and averages around $1200 per table. now it differs greatly for each wedding, but i'd say the average would be around 150 - 200 people. now lets say the worst case scenario is that all 200 people came and gave the newly weds 200 toasters. but i guess thats cool and all right because its their celebration and hey, its free food. who cares if the bride and groom have to pay for everything out of their own pocket. (in all honesty though, the wedding is usually paid for by the parents of the bride and groom, although thats not always the case).


You sound like a guy who is getting married. My question to is are you inviting guests or customers?

Free food is that how you think? You invited them - why thow a party you can't obviously afford. To much reality tv - everyone wants to be a big shot.

I don't understand the logic here - you have a big wedding that you can't afford but hope those show up (invitees) will pay the costs. If the parents pay - who gets the money? Well then go all out - have the wedding of the year and do more then once and maybe you can get a house out of it.

[ferkel]

moral of the story is.. lmit the invites of RFD members to your wedding hahaha.. Average loss for a wedding banquet these days is $30 to 50k.

[Kranberry]

with all thats said... i really dont think its a matter of being cheap or not. when it comes down to deciding the money gift, just go about it logically and put yourself in the newly weds shoes. consider the amount you would like to be given and go from there.

most chinese weddings dont go by the number of people, its always by the number of tables. each table has about 8 - 12 people, it varies from restaurant to restaurant, and averages around $1200 per table. now it differs greatly for each wedding, but i'd say the average would be around 150 - 200 people. now lets say the worst case scenario is that all 200 people came and gave the newly weds 200 toasters. but i guess thats cool and all right because its their celebration and hey, its free food. who cares if the bride and groom have to pay for everything out of their own pocket. (in all honesty though, the wedding is usually paid for by the parents of the bride and groom, although thats not always the case).

with that said... if you cant afford to, no ones going to hold it against you for not giving anything. being there is going to be enough for them. however, if you can afford it, i'd recommend being considerate enough to pay for your dinner and a decent wedding gift.

What? So you are saying it's okay if you don't give anything? What if all your guests did that in your scenario, and at the same time, what if the parents didn't pay for the wedding. Say you invited 200 guests, then you'd be stuck with the bill. :lol:

You are also saying, if you can pay, pay for the dinner and then a gift? So using your example of $1200 a table, let's say 8 at the table, you'd have to give about $150 + gift? WTF? The cost of the wedding should not in any way correlate to the gift. You give the gift regardless of the venue or cost.

Plus what banquet do you go to that the average is $1200. My sis-in-law is getting married and even Lee Wai Heen doesn't go much over $1200. Regular restaurants can be had for easily $800. Course your not going to get Swallow's Nest and Abalone with that.

If I were the groom, the amount I would expect be given, would not cover the cost of the banquet, yet not so cheap as to be ridiculous. For example, when I did get married, friends of the family (my mom's friends) came and they brought their kids (all 14+ in age) and they paid $100 for the 5 mouths. Now that is cheap. By having a banquet, I think the bride and groom should go with the idea, that they will have to pay for everything and nobody will have gifts (although I think everyone should have at least a gift). That way no surprises and no expectations.

[501]

just stuff the red pocket with papers then couple 20's on the outside. JK!

but yea usually it's 100...if relatives...i give 200+.

[always]

If I were the groom, the amount I would expect be given, would not cover the cost of the banquet, yet not so cheap as to be ridiculous. For example, when I did get married, friends of the family (my mom's friends) came and they brought their kids (all 14+ in age) and they paid $100 for the 5 mouths. Now that is cheap. By having a banquet, I think the bride and groom should go with the idea, that they will have to pay for everything and nobody will have gifts (although I think everyone should have at least a gift). That way no surprises and no expectations.

Thats exactly the way you should be thinking if you were their place. But lets say you were my good friend and you invited me to your wedding. What would be going through my mind is, I understand you've invited all these people, you're paying for the ceremony, dinner, and the last thing you're expecting is to break even after all the dust has settled. Whats the least I can do for you, as a friend, to help you out. And now you're telling me what I've been doing all these years is wrong? That I shouldn't correlate the cost of the wedding to the gift? Some friend I am then I guess.

@profguy In quite a few cases, I've seen parents who've lost sight of their children's best interest and turned their wedding into a money making scheme. ie. They invite only wealthy guests and take advantage of their generosity. From what I've heard, they've shamelessly bragged about how much money they've made afterwards and couldn't wait for their other kids to get married.

[a88888888a]

$100 pp is satisfactory

It costs approx.$75 pp for the food and drink at a "standard" Chinese banquet, so giving $100 covers your plate and leaves them an extra something too.

But $150 per couple is also satisfactory, depending on your income.

A close friend of mine, this Chinese guy said that at $75 per person, the couple is losing. Losing money probably is not a big deal, but you shouldn't be thinking your generosity is giving them anything 'extra'.

[a88888888a]

I think $100 will cause people to break even...
I see "table" prices for weddings @ Chinese restaurants. Its usually about $750\table for your basic stuff. Assuming theres 7 people sitting @ a table comfortably, you break even if people are giving $100 per person...

Theres always going to be cheap people paying $50-$80
You also have to factor in the cost of having an open Bar.

The sad truth is that cheap people are the ones that drink the most and want people to give them plenty of red pocket when their time comes, but don't want to give any significant red pockets themselves.

[a88888888a]

You missed my point, nobody is disputing the cost here - heck some cost way more than $750/table. My point - are the guests paying for the wedding that the couple want - ie if it is $1000/table plus other cost then it is $200/person? My point is that it is poor taste to expect guest to pay the cost after all they invited you to a celebration not to a paid dinner. That doesn't meen you don't provide a gift - just not a set amount and only what you can afford. Otherwise why stop at $750/table and be "cheap" according to the RFD's and go all out for $1500/table after all you can pass on the cost to your guests.

What is your definition of a wedding guest? For me "Cheap" is a guy who puts on a wedding and then expects to recoup the cost from the guest.

I believe that for asian people it's a cultural thing. And the way the restaurants figure out how much to charge is based on what they think the average red pocket amount will be. So if they think the average amount is 80, they would make the tables 800 + 10 to 15 percent. If you just went into the restaurant to eat the dishes on an ordinary day, it wouldn't cost more than $450 per table. It's just how the culture works (from what I know). You can celebrate all you want, just know that when in rome do as the romans do. Apply your own logic to your own cultural events.

[Muncher]

I guess people who only earn minimum wage will not be able to attend a Chinese wedding ... $200 is a month's groceries!

It sadly reinforces that one should only be friends with people of a similar income level, if the premise is to recoup costs at a wedding. Perhaps that rule applies to all parties - oh well, time to ignore your poor relatives as the wedding approaches, hey? You won't profit from them.

$100 per person wedding gift = $200
$150x2 per person new clothes (1 set for lunch and 1 set for dinner) = $600
$70 per person bridal shower/stag party = $140

A thousand dollars??!!

[sixer]

Money should be given on two things

1. What you can afford
2. How well you know the person

Extra money should NOT be given to cover an expensive wedding because that's what the couple or their parents want.

Nor should you judge what to give based on the fact it's going to be at a banquet hall compared to backyard wedding.

Either way money is given for the couple as a gift to help them in their future life together.

$150 is the normal amount to give for a middle income household.

[azn_dan]

I come from a vietnamese background, but this is how we deal with going to weddings:

1. You give $100 for each person going

Or

2. Say your son had a wedding and the family in question came and only gave $50 per person. When their kids or what not get married you return the favour by only giving $50 per person.

Everyone usually gives $100/person but sometimes it can differ. Also you may be wondering how they remember what everyone gave? Well since we had the guestbook, my parents decided to write everyones value down beside their names for future reference.

[afici0nad0]

$100 seems to be the default, and anything over would be dependent on the relationship between the guest and the wedding party.

[scan]

just donate $200 in their name to the Human Fund

[kailan50]

In my opinion, it's not a requirement to give money for Chinese weddings or any wedding, everyone is different, therefore, it is completely at each guest's discretion what to give for the wedding, whether it's gift or money, it's all good! After all, it's the thought that counts!

[a88888888a]

In my opinion, it's not a requirement to give money for Chinese weddings or any wedding, everyone is different, therefore, it is completely at each guest's discretion what to give for the wedding, whether it's gift or money, it's all good! After all, it's the thought that counts!

I hope you get a lot of gifts on your wedding day. Gift regs't are the biggest wedding scam placed on couples by corporate america. It helps no entity more than the corporate domain - so wake up and smell the coffee. For couples that really need something important - a plasma tv or what not, go ahead and buy them the plasma tv, but other little things that make little sense....it's a joke to even bother with it. I had one relative that said their sig'n other only wanted a gift registry and did not want to accept cash. She said she didn't really want any thing on the registry, but she still needed to put things on the list so others could pick from it. She said she already has everything she needs (and so does the guy). So what a big joke, I guess at the end of the day on Macy's or some big corporate department store wins.

In the end gifts and money is okay, if the amount it the same and people aren't hiding behind their cheapness with low value gifts.

We live in a material world and that is the sad truth of it all. 'It's the thought that counts' sound all warm and considerate, but at the end of the day people remember the gift, and your consideration is nothing more than the gift. Don't kid yourself if you think otherwise (there could be exceptions to the rule, but not too many)

[HP_John]

I have talked to tons of friends about this, the consensus is that it's $100 minimum for 1 person. Anything less is considered stingy.

[frankyflwrs]

Minimum gift of $100.00/pp. If it's a good friend, then the sky's the limit. Even a cheap chinese banquet now, is approx. $90-$120 (including the booze).

If you're married, and they attended your wedding, then give them back what they gave you (if it was cash).

The couple will have three reactions to their gifts:
1) WOW That's a Generous gift!
2) Yeah, that's about right.
3) WTH!!

[sixer]

Last two posters, I don't think so. If I have a family of four I'm not giving $400 or $100 per person.

Like I said earlier, Money should be given on two things

1. What you can afford
2. How well you know the person

Extra money should NOT be given to cover an expensive wedding because that's what the couple or their parents want OR it's open bar or fancy place!

$150 is the normal for two people. Period. You are not paying for their decision to have open bar, 7 course meal, etc. They are throwing the party.

If you have money and not large debt load, for example, more mature 45+, fine give $200 for two people. But you can't expect your younger friends who are just starting off in life and have big mortgage, line of credit, etc to pay for your decision to have a fancy wedding!!!

[ssainani]

as someone who was married almost a year ago (on 7/7/7) i'll give one thing of advice (i'm not chinese tho...neither is my wife)

give what you can afford....if you can't give 100....give less.
we had many envelopes with $100 per person in them (most were these)
but a lot of $150's for 2 people (or $300 for 4 ppl)
but we had a few $250 per person also which balanced it out


and now...looking back a year - i don't remember who gave what.

[SwiZz]

Yup order of most expensive:

1) Immediate Family
2) Family
3) Friends
4) Co-workers, etc.

I'm 23 but me and my brother gave my sister $2500 each last year for her wedding. It hurts emptying out your pocket like that, but hey, its family.

[HP_John]

Last two posters, I don't think so. If I have a family of four I'm not giving $400 or $100 per person.

Like I said earlier, Money should be given on two things

1. What you can afford
2. How well you know the person

Extra money should NOT be given to cover an expensive wedding because that's what the couple or their parents want OR it's open bar or fancy place!

$150 is the normal for two people. Period. You are not paying for their decision to have open bar, 7 course meal, etc. They are throwing the party.

If you have money and not large debt load, for example, more mature 45+, fine give $200 for two people. But you can't expect your younger friends who are just starting off in life and have big mortgage, line of credit, etc to pay for your decision to have a fancy wedding!!!

Of course if you don't have the money to, then there's nothing to force you to give $100 per person. But that is clearly the established minimum for a Chinese wedding, I've talked about this with literally dozens of people, everyone agrees that unless you're poor, the minimum is $100 per person. People who are middle class or rich & whom give less than $100 per person are often labelled stingy. The wedding party will tell people about certain people who were really stingy. It's not necessarily fair but that's the way it works.

[sixer]

Of course if you don't have the money to, then there's nothing to force you to give $100 per person. But that is clearly the established minimum for a Chinese wedding, I've talked about this with literally dozens of people, everyone agrees that unless you're poor, the minimum is $100 per person. People who are middle class or rich & whom give less than $100 per person are often labelled stingy. The wedding party will tell people about certain people who were really stingy. It's not necessarily fair but that's the way it works.

lol, so unless your dirt poor, you have to give $100 pp or they'll call you stingy and tell others what you gave.

Ya, that's when you get new friends. I highly doubt all chinese people think like this.

[tlamm]

In my opinion, it's not a requirement to give money for Chinese weddings or any wedding, everyone is different, therefore, it is completely at each guest's discretion what to give for the wedding, whether it's gift or money, it's all good! After all, it's the thought that counts!


+1

If it matters, don't invite people it you don't think they will donate to your cause.

We invited people that we wanted at our wedding. Some gave cash, some didn't. You dont invite people to make money, you invite them to make memories.

[mic2074]

Of course if you don't have the money to, then there's nothing to force you to give $100 per person. But that is clearly the established minimum for a Chinese wedding, I've talked about this with literally dozens of people, everyone agrees that unless you're poor, the minimum is $100 per person. People who are middle class or rich & whom give less than $100 per person are often labelled stingy. The wedding party will tell people about certain people who were really stingy. It's not necessarily fair but that's the way it works.

from what I understand - the wedding party don't open the red envelopes... so unless the bride and groom tells them later, they shouldn't know who gave what... and if these bride and groom tells ppl, then you know what, they desire the stingy gift.

granted, there are some ppl who are just so insanely cheap that it's hard not to talk about them sometimes. Friend's sister got a wedding gift from a group of the groom's friends (like 3 - 4 ppl) - it was a fruit platter plate or something... and not the expensive crytal or whatever from like Birks, but cheap stuff from Kitchen Stuff or Benix... these friends were all professionals, so they're not on welfare or something... while at those friends weddings, the groom was always generous and give more than $100 in $$ or gifts.

[whiskeykat]

Hahah.. the best story I ever heard was a family of 5 attending a wedding and the parents gave the bride 2 religious prayer type cards fitted into one of those plastic collector card sleeves. I guess so no matter which side they look at there's something inspiration to see and that's just priceless.

[CSIFan29]

$100 pp sounds about average to me.

Funny story here too. My parents got a penny for a family of four when they got married - that's stingy!

My dad said whoever gave that (he won't tell us who) that when their kids get married they are getting the penny back, cut in half. :lol:

[kailan50]

I really do not believe in “peer pressure”, just because other guests who are attending the wedding are giving money, it doesn't mean that I have to give out money as well. I give what I feel is reasonable for any particular wedding; it completely depends on my relationship with the wedding couple, and how well I know them.

For the weddings I've been to, I've given one or the other (money / gift). If it's for my close family relatives or my close friends, I'd lean towards giving money, not because I have to, but because I want to. However, if it's for distant relatives, general friends, or acquaintance, then I'd definitively give gift (not money).

[dmdsoftware2]

I don't mind giving $$ when it is right to do so, but a couple getting married should not EXPECT the guests to cover their wedding costs. The way you are saying is they should sell tickets to their wedding so they can make a profit! :lol:

If they want to have a venue/food that is expensive, don't expect me to give $$$ just because you chose that place, that is the couples decision not mine, I give $$ in relation to how I know the person, not the venue.

So for coworkers I'd give $50-$100 depending on how close, friends $100, relatives more...

I completely agree. Maybe it's a cultural thing or maybe marriage doesn't mean what it used to, but the groom and bride should pay for the event. They shouldn't expect the guests to pay, and should definitely not seek to profit from the wedding.

[sillysimms]

I've never been to a Chinese wedding, but after marrying into an Italian family I've been to several Italian weddings and generally it is the same idea. On average, people tend to give $100/per person, often a little more. But that is just on average. At my wedding, I couldn't care less and wouldn't hold it against someone at all that gave less. A wedding is a time for celebration and I've invited the people I want to share the day with me there.

People give what they can afford. Sometimes people have to attend numerous weddings during one summer season. No one knows what another person's financial situation is. I wouldn't want anyone attending my wedding to feel bad or uncomfortable because they couldn't afford to give what is considered "average". I've invited them to share the day. Any gift they choose to give is a bonus and I'd never call anyone stingy for not giving a set amount but would be appreciative of anything, big or small, that I was given. A gift really shouldn't be expected although it is by many.

What is more important to me is having a memorable day surrounding by friends and loved ones and the amount of someone's gift doesn't factor in to how I feel about them.

[ruby5]

I really do not believe in “peer pressure”, just because other guests who are attending the wedding are giving money, it doesn't mean that I have to give out money as well. I give what I feel is reasonable for any particular wedding; it completely depends on my relationship with the wedding couple, and how well I know them.

For the weddings I've been to, I've given one or the other (money / gift). If it's for my close family relatives or my close friends, I'd lean towards giving money, not because I have to, but because I want to. However, if it's for distant relatives, general friends, or acquaintance, then I'd definitively give gift (not money).


I completely agree!

[cgtlky]

Why not just eat and run no need to gave any money since they will not know or remember you even you attended the wedding since there is too many guest.:cheesygri :D

[HP_John]

I don't know who is Asian or not, but trust me, Asian people do expect $100 for 1 person. It's not necessarily right, but Asian culture unfortunately does have an emphasis on "face", that is, don't lose "face" by being perceived as cheap for example.

[LegiT]

Why not just eat and run no need to gave any money since they will not know or remember you even you attended the wedding since there is too many guest.:cheesygri :D

Lol...that's an excellent idea. However, how are you going to get past the guest-book signing process?

[Pochacco]

not get married you return the favour by only giving $50 per person.

. Also you may be wondering how they remember what everyone gave? Well since we had the guestbook, my parents decided to write everyones value down beside their names for future reference.

LOL.. this is a good one :) and yeap, I do agree with you.. if they only choose to give that amount, return them the favour and give them back that amount when their kids gets married....

[Pochacco]

I have a question... What if you were invited to the wedding as a guest, meaning what if the person who got invited to the wedding asked you to go with her or him (the person is your friend or you're dating the dating the person) but you never saw the bride's and groom's before or you barely know them? What do you do in this case? Buy them a gift? Still give them cash but give... said $50 instead? or the person who is bringing you should cover the cost instead?

[mayfly]

I have a question... What if you were invited to the wedding as a guest, meaning what if the person who got invited to the wedding asked you to go with her or him (the person is your friend or you're dating the dating the person) but you never saw the bride's and groom's before or you barely know them? What do you do in this case? Buy them a gift? Still give them cash but give... said $50 instead? or the person who is bringing you should cover the cost instead?

$50 won't even cover the costs of your dinner. I would go for $100 rather than being remembered as "cheappo".

[Siefer999]

I have a question... What if you were invited to the wedding as a guest, meaning what if the person who got invited to the wedding asked you to go with her or him (the person is your friend or you're dating the dating the person) but you never saw the bride's and groom's before or you barely know them? What do you do in this case? Buy them a gift? Still give them cash but give... said $50 instead? or the person who is bringing you should cover the cost instead?

thats what i would do

[mic2074]

I have a question... What if you were invited to the wedding as a guest, meaning what if the person who got invited to the wedding asked you to go with her or him (the person is your friend or you're dating the dating the person) but you never saw the bride's and groom's before or you barely know them? What do you do in this case? Buy them a gift? Still give them cash but give... said $50 instead? or the person who is bringing you should cover the cost instead?

do as the person taking you do... I mean it all depends on the relationship of this person to the bride/groom... and the person taking your should cover the costs.

[xNoOd1eS]

I remember my aunt saying she got "Canadian Tire" money in some of the red pockets at her wedding.

[thisislalala]

I usually give $88 as it's good number in chinese as everyone knows :cheesygri
Sometimes I give $99 for closer friends as 99 means "wishing them a forever relationship"

[molala]

I usually give $88 as it's good number in chinese as everyone knows :cheesygri
Sometimes I give $99 for closer friends as 99 means "wishing them a forever relationship"

$99 is not a good idea...in chinese culture..you only give odd number os money for funeral..because odd sounds like single in chinese..which signify as happened only once for such events...

whereas for happy events like weddings, birthdays, etc. you will give even number..because even sounds like multiple in chinese...which signify as happens more than once...

so no more $99!!.....seriously!

[mic2074]

$99 is not a good idea...in chinese culture..you only give odd number os money for funeral..because odd sounds like single in chinese..which signify as happened only once for such events...

whereas for happy events like weddings, birthdays, etc. you will give even number..because even sounds like multiple in chinese...which signify as happens more than once...

so no more $99!!.....seriously!

but wouldn't you want a wedding to happen only once ? :D

I think with 9's could an exception because 9 sounds like longivity - that's why more 9's the better for weddings... that's why when they ask for the "open door red envelope", they ask for a number filled with 9's.

[mic2074]

I remember my aunt saying she got "Canadian Tire" money in some of the red pockets at her wedding.

OH DAMN, that is cheap... then again, guess you could look at it as getting CT gift cards.

[GeneralCho]

I usually just give $100/person

[molala]

OH DAMN, that is cheap... then again, guess you could look at it as getting CT gift cards.

let's say the guest gives $50...that's a heck lots of CT bills in one red pocket...LOL

[jglkitty25]

If it is my close friend I usually give them $150 per person that attends the wedding because I've been through it and know how much it costs for a wedding (and I was very frugal with things)

As for cheap people, I had invited 2 people who invited 2 guests themselves and ended up giving me a bounced cheque. I also got a $20 US bill and some US coins in of my red envelopes. Who the heck gives you change? Those are the most memorable ones. I can always get a good laugh about it now.

[Nukey]

My sister got a mug from someone... or was it two mugs...

[hightech]

Just wanted to find out what number values are good? Is $600 a good number?

[Billwill]

Just wanted to find out what number values are good? Is $600 a good number?

Go for 588 and you'll be appreciated.

[hightech]

Go for 588 and you'll be appreciated.

what is the significance of that number, and won't change look odd in a red envelope?

[Billwill]

I speak many languages and have lived in many different nations.

Why 588?

8 has been explained.

5 will translate as "wo" meaning "me" meaning "you give them luck and success."

It should go over very well.

Have a GREAT TIME and enjoy the wine!:)

[hightech]

I speak many languages and have lived in many different nations.

Why 588?

8 has been explained.

5 will translate as "wo" meaning "me" meaning "you give them luck and success."

It should go over very well.

Have a GREAT TIME and enjoy the wine!:)


what does the number 598 mean?

[Billwill]

what does the number 598 mean?

"You'll have lots of money and success"

Perhaps even better than 588!

[mic2074]

I speak many languages and have lived in many different nations.

Why 588?

8 has been explained.

5 will translate as "wo" meaning "me" meaning "you give them luck and success."

It should go over very well.

Have a GREAT TIME and enjoy the wine!:)

I don't know what language it is you're referring too... but 5 for Chinese is not good - as, in Cantonese, 5 sounds like "not".

[molala]

i would just stick with $600...u can't go wrong