Don't you just hate it when relatives come over to live+eat for free for 2 months?

[pinkbaby]

I have 2 relatives over at my house and that 8 year old is just driving me crazy. They got here in June and won't go back to their country until the end of Aug. I am ok with them living and eating at my house for free but not with that crazy attitude the 8 year old has. He isn't my kid so I can't really say anything to the father. He isn't just rude but he wouldn't listen to anything I tell him not do. He loves eating in front of the TV and he drips all over the rugs. He doesn't understand he talks way too loud and it hurts my ears. Not only that, he wakes up my brother and I every single morning at 8am because his dad goes out for a walk and that 8 year old brat is too scared to be in the room by himself. He cries if he isn't the one deciding what to watch on the TV and he refuses to use the TV in the basement to watch cartoon when I want to watch DVDs (only one dvd player in my house). I don't know how much longer I can stand this...

[MrDisco]

how old are you? its two months...suck it up.

[CanadaBoy]

I have 2 relatives over at my house and that 8 year old is just driving me crazy. They got here in June and won't go back to their country until the end of Aug. I am ok with them living and eating at my house for free but not with that crazy attitude the 8 year old has. He isn't my kid so I can't really say anything to the father. He isn't just rude but he wouldn't listen to anything I tell him not do. He loves eating in front of the TV and he drips all over the rugs. He doesn't understand he talks way too loud and it hurts my ears. Not only that, he wakes up my brother and I every single morning at 8am because his dad goes out for a walk and that 8 year old brat is too scared to be in the room by himself. He cries if he isn't the one deciding what to watch on the TV and he refuses to use the TV in the basement to watch cartoon when I want to watch DVDs (only one dvd player in my house). I don't know how much longer I can stand this...

Can you move the DVD player ?

[sexpuppet6000]

how old are you? its two months...suck it up.

be nice

[konfusion666]

Show that 8-year-old who's boss.

[UrbanPoet]

lock him in the basement. that'll give him a scare. >=D

[Paranoidandroid]

http://www.metalgearsolid.cz/images/games/zbrane/mgs2/4.jpg

[i6s1]

This is why you should never be nice to anyone.

[MrDisco]

be nice

I'm totally nice. He sounds like a young guy who's whining because he can't watch his dvds. boo-hoo.

[Odysseus_Maximus]

Hide the remote for the tv upstairs, that will get him downstairs in no time and "Break" the dvd player.

[3weddings]

Um....I am obviously the only parent responding so far...

I personally would appreciate it if my children were told by their hosts that their behaviour is unacceptable (however, mine live by very strict rules at home, and I would be shocked to hear they didn't treat their friends' homes the same way!). This child obviously thinks his parents are pushovers, but he needs to be reminded, your house (or your parents' house) your rules!

Just today two neighbourhood kids came in during the rain and when provided with a snack, proceeded into my family room....not going to happen at my house. It was pointed out to them, and they ate at the kitchen table.
Simple.

It may be a little late now, but it doesn't hurt to try.

[ItemFinder]

Just curious, but what ethnicity are you and your relatives?

[M@rk]

How old are you?

If you're a teenager, then suck it up.

But if the house is yours, you should scold the kid. If he doesn't respect his elders, especially while living under their roof, than that's one screwed up kid!

[tet8suo]

You are a RFDer and you don't have more than one DVD players:D

[cmge]

Just curious, but what ethnicity are you and your relatives?
probably asian.. like the majority of th posters in this forum...

and y dont u talk to ur parents about this?

[TapemanPL]

give him a backhand and tell him that he doesn't own the place, and if it keeps acting like a little **** he can go home

[ginabobolee]

how old are you? its two months...suck it up.

doesn't matter how old is he/she. I can understand the frustration. Thank God my relatives left already. (they only stayed for a month)

but in this one month, I was sick twice. Usually, I averagely only get sick once a year......

What I don't like is that when people come over for a vacation, they think it's "my responsibility" to look after them...they don't consider that I got a full time job to go to :(

[MtX]

How do you know they're eating for free?

2 months is a lot of $.

Whenever my family stays at another person's house for a long period of time (friends or relatives), we always reimburse them back with some $ or we buy our own groceries. Same thing when someone lives at our place.

[shawn99]

looks like the relatives from hell, reminds me the movie Christmas Vacation with Chevy Chase and Randy Quaid.

[UrbanPoet]

i have relatives like that... they are worst...
They'd use our house as a personal hotel! go out all day with the kids, come back and have dinner/sleep...

Then they would wake up have breakfast and go out without even inviting my parents out.
they are the worst type of guest you can have.
I remember going on a trip with them to Montreal, and they would encourage my family to mooch off their friends... they would stay @ friends houses and eat all their food!!! They even went as far as drinking all their supply of homo milk (which they use to feed their 3 babies!).

[UncleSteve]

I'm with 3weddings on this one. I'm reminded of the time a good friend of our family had some relatives staying at his place from overseas. The youngest one was quite a brat, until our friend pulled him aside, and told the youngster, in no uncertain terms, that it was his house, and his rules. The young one was an angel for the rest of the time.

Remember, as Ann Landers used to say, "No-one can take advantage of you without your permission".

[billdozer]

don't you just hate it when crybabies like the OP use RFD as their personal blog?

[flypretty]

You are a RFDer and you don't have more than one DVD players:D

+1..hehehe:lol:

[Bunkhouse]

They even went as far as drinking all their supply of homo milkCleaning out someone of their homo milk is definatly going too far!

Just cut back on your food supply, smaller portions for meals, ect.. If they are still hungry they can fend for themselves. Let them know that your running low on $$ for food and see if they'd mind buying some groceries on their own.

[pinkbaby]

1. I'm way older than being just teens.
2. I live with my parents right now since university hasn't begun for me. If my parents feel that it's wrong to say anything to the kid and the dad then I have to shut up according to my parents. They think it's WRONG to tell them off since they are the guests. So I would yell at the kid to tell him to eat in the kitchen but he would be laughing at me cuz he knows my mom won't say a word.
3. They do not only live and eat for free, my parents pay for them when we all go shopping in the mall. The kid also comes home asking for money just because he speaks Eng in the day camp. (The dad tells the kid that "your aunt will give you$1 per sentence of Eng that you speak at camp".)
4. They think it's our responsibility to take care of them so I have to wake up at 8am everyday to drive that brat to summer camp cuz my parents are busy and my brother is taking summer school.
5. I have already told the kid to go home if he doesn't behave after having to put up with him for a month. However, it didn't seem to work cuz he just started crying saying I am a freak and all. (my dad had to take his dad to fishing today for 12h so he was home with the rest of us)

[ben_liu]

1. I'm way older than being just teens.
2. I live with my parents right now since university hasn't begun for me. If my parents feel that it's wrong to say anything to the kid and the dad then I have to shut up according to my parents. They think it's WRONG to tell them off since they are the guests. So I would yell at the kid to tell him to eat in the kitchen but he would be laughing at me cuz he knows my mom won't say a word.
3. They do not only live and eat for free, my parents pay for them when we all go shopping in the mall. The kid also comes home asking for money just because he speaks Eng in the day camp. (The dad tells the kid that "your aunt will give you$1 per sentence of Eng that you speak at camp".)
4. They think it's our responsibility to take care of them so I have to wake up at 8am everyday to drive that brat to summer camp cuz my parents are busy and my brother is taking summer school.
5. I have already told the kid to go home if he doesn't behave after having to put up with him for a month. However, it didn't seem to work cuz he just started crying saying I am a freak and all. (my dad had to take his dad to fishing today for 12h so he was home with the rest of us)

damn tell them straight up, dipset ;) that sucks man, when i went on a trip last summer to china, i stayed at my aunts/uncles, i don't think we paid em. :( but i can assure you i wasn't an annoying brat.

[Starkicker]

I'm not a parent, but I recently got married into a family with a lot of little kids - bratty little demonic kids.

Maybe I'm going against the grain here, but I tried to discipline one of the brattier of the kids to not run around MY house with chocolate covered fingers when his mom came down on me like a Texan on a steak about how I shouldn't be disciplining her kids and how she'll teach them right from wrong, etc.

Now I'll admit, I don't like kids. I know I'll have kids given time, but the lack of parenting I see nowadays is astounding. When I was a kid, my dad would summarily beat me if I did something wrong. Not that I condone beating kids, but looking back it must have been harder for him than it was on me. I used to hate him for that, but again, looking back I thank him for it.

Back to my extended family; the parents are all my age or slightly older, but they're not ready to be parents in my eyes. I know the "he's just a kid" explanation, I get it from my wife when I complain about them, but I just wish their parents would step up.

I have a great amount of respect for some of the parents on this board, specifically 3Weddings and Bullseye. I just hope I'm ready when my time comes.

[ricoboxing]

start being the host from hell. walk around naked, play loud music when theyre sleeping, do anything to piss them off. they'll be at the super 8 motel in no time!

[GBA]

just sounds like the 8 year old is spoilt beyond belief...walking all over his parents, he knows therefore he can walk all over your house as well!

if he's only 8, and you're past your teens, you must show grit. he won't take his food back into the kitchen? take it back in there FOR him, out of his hands. he don't like it? cuff him one! Punish him within your means, take away the tv remotes, dvds, starve his entertainment. If he goes to his parents, tell him WHY. And make sure they don't bribe YOU into doing what they want too, if the moral of the whole situation is really bothering you (look, I know you don't like my 8 year old, but if you let him do what he wants, I'll give you 100$)

freakin'...i know I was a pain in the ass for my parents, but when i was outta line, they delivered. What you have to make clear to this 8 year old is make him understand who owns this house. (the only reason why your parents might be bending over backwards for them is because they are rich beyond belief and could buy you out? just an afterthought)

Anyways...gotta look at the light at the end of the tunnel. it's only for a few months, tops. make him show that whatever he does, he is RESPONSIBLE for it.

Maybe look at him as an 8 year old companion? take him places with day care or out, so then he messes your house up less? it is more work on your part, but this is an alternative to going at it hammer and tongs at your house the entire time. Maybe his disposition will change if you view him as less of an enemy and more as a friend. Just another suggestion.

regardless....hang in there!

[whampoa]

Act like Chef Ramsey from Hell's Kitchen. Every words and actions will either curse or belittle those demons.

Those brats will get the idea sooner rather than later.

[vladislav]

Beat your kids, it's the only way if you have no parenting skills. Good luck to the op, we had a similar (probably much 'lighter') situation many years ago and tough love worked wonders.

[cmge]

i sorta understand ur parents pov but cmon there is a boiling point for everything.. something similar happened to me where relatives came over and they brought over this friend of thiers who has a 7yr old who was such a brat... long story short i ended up embarassing the kid and he was on his best behaviour afterwards...

so i think its time to fight fire with fire only when parents or relatives arent around... :twisted: .. just do things that irritate the kid.. u mention u drive him to some day camp right?... well buckle up and make some hard stops... :twisted: ... putting the seatbelt on the kid is optional... :lol: ... it sux that ur parents give that brat 1$ for every eng sentence but make him look like a fool while in the process... i hope he isnt using the same sentence over andover... -_- ... and if he whines and cries.. just step out for a while and leave him alone.. c what he doesn.. if he ends up breaking **** then thats not ur fault.. make an excuse where u had to do some errand or something..

it irritates me how ppl use the excuse "oh they're just kids"... gimme a break... thats just the lazy way out of disciplining their kids...

[whampoa]

I don't understand why some people want to stay at someone's else home during a vacation. That's why I either stay at a hotel or don't go at all.

Always dependent on other people generosity for living accomodation, food and, if needed, transportation.

I don't see that as the best way to spend your precious vacation time.

[afong56]

the op is complaining to the wrong people. you are wasting your time confronting the guests and especially posting on a public board.

your parents own the house. they make the rules. if you don't like the way guests of your parents (not your guests, btw) are behaving, complain to your parents. they are the only ones that can make changes, since they were the ones that extended the invitation.

everything else is just palaver.

[pinkbaby]

the op is complaining to the wrong people. you are wasting your time confronting the guests and especially posting on a public board.

your parents own the house. they make the rules. if you don't like the way guests of your parents (not your guests, btw) are behaving, complain to your parents. they are the only ones that can make changes, since they were the ones that extended the invitation.

everything else is just palaver.

You are totally right. I talked to my mom about it but she kept saying she can't do anything to the kid cuz they are her guests. She yelled at me for an hour because I told the brat that he better behaves or he should just go home. I did what I can last night but it didn't work with my mom's idea of that she will "loose face" if she says anything to them.

[cmge]

I did what I can last night but it didn't work with my mom's idea of that she will "loose face" if she says anything to them.
thats true in so many levels... one's pride is always on the lien... -_- .. and its not like u can do the same to them if the situation is reversed... u staying at ur relatives and being a total jerk...

[YnD]

Whoop that trick.

[spm24]

i was about to say Man up and take matters into your own hands . but with a user-name like pink baby i am guessing your female.


Since it seems your losing the war on a 8 year old. move your DVD player downstairs . why be hostile to the little brat ask your parents for money to take the kid out and don't do anything with him , just drive around take him to the park and do your own thing just making sure the kid is out of trouble.

or you could do what we found out by accident , bring a foreign kid to something like chuck-e cheese . one of my cousins learned his lesson really quickly to be nice to other since she couldn't ask for anything or help for that matter unless she came to the people who brought em .

[Rosico]

wow, some cultural hangups are simply amazing to me...

'lose face'? They should be the one's who are losing face by being such freeloaders.

speak your mind - what's the worst thing that will happen? You can blame it all on pre-uni stress if you need to afterwards ....;)

[kitbor]

Do you plan to visit their country and stay with them? If not, let the hell loose. Refuse to clean the kid mess, let your mom do it. Talk to him as loud as possible, even yell in normal conversation, to let them all (your mom/dad/his dad) know your displeasure, etc .... Don't forget to prepare to move out of your parent house.

Seriously, they are your parents guess and so do you. It's your parent territory and you just temporary live there same as them; you just stay longer. If your parent put up with it then you have no much choices. You can still act up and display your irritation they cause you. But the final word is up to your parent.

[Stunt_101]

give him a backhand and tell him that he doesn't own the place, and if it keeps acting like a little **** he can go home

foreals.

this lil kid (friend's lil bro whos fam spoil him like fcuk), i went camping with kept pissing me off, so the first day i gave him two punches to the stomach and he shut up for a day, and when he talked crap again, i took him to the pool and threw him in (he didnn't know how to swim, and the pool wasn't deep at all) i got him up after 10 seconds, after that he left me alone and actually listen to me

show them who's boss, kids these days think too highly of themselves

[Lone_Prodigy]

foreals.

this lil kid (friend's lil bro whos fam spoil him like fcuk), i went camping with kept pissing me off, so the first day i gave him two punches to the stomach and he shut up for a day, and when he talked crap again, i took him to the pool and threw him in (he didnn't know how to swim, and the pool wasn't deep at all) i got him up after 10 seconds, after that he left me alone and actually listen to me

show them who's boss, kids these days think too highly of themselves

To which the kid will complain to his parents and they will confront your parents and basically shame you all.

Has the OP tried talking to the kid's parents?

[cmge]

Has the OP tried talking to the kid's parents?
OP cant... since OP's parents would lose face... :S

[aidzhsiah]

Don't you love old fashioned Chinese values ? It's all about pride and face. You don't want the relatives to spread the word you're not good hosts. I think the problem with old Chinese rules for acting as hosts though kind of assumed that people would be gracious guests.

In this case, these guys are violating the other side of the equation.

And unfortunately anything done by OP in retaliation simply reflects badly on the parents... because they've failed to raise a 'well-mannered child'.

[Flyer]

I hear that with the right spices and prepared/cooked properly, children can be quite the delicacy....

[haowong]

OP, consider yourself lucky that there is only a kid and his dad....

Whenever my "relatives" come over, its always in groups of min. 10

Then they eat all your food, (and have the nerve to ask you to go buy more) don't pay when we go to restaurants (my dad being a good host and all), don't bring gifts (which is common Chinese courtesy when going someones house and spend the night there...could be simply a handful of oranges, its the thought that counts)


When we go to their place, we bring gifts (like a box of lytchee), my dad pays for the meals we eat at the restaurant (my dad being a good guess and all, and no, he doesn't have to fight for the bill, those relative all become quiet when the bill comes). One of our hosts even had the nerve to say: "Let's have breakfast at a restaurant" and brings us to a McDonalds... (My parents hate McDonalds)



All in all, I know how you feel and believe me, these guys will not be welcomed to stay at MY place in the future...

[pinkbaby]

OP, consider yourself lucky that there is only a kid and his dad....

Whenever my "relatives" come over, its always in groups of min. 10

Then they eat all your food, (and have the nerve to ask you to go buy more) don't pay when we go to restaurants (my dad being a good host and all), don't bring gifts (which is common Chinese courtesy when going someones house and spend the night there...could be simply a handful of oranges, its the thought that counts)

When we go to their place, we bring gifts (like a box of lytchee), my dad pays for the meals we eat at the restaurant (my dad being a good guess and all, and no, he doesn't have to fight for the bill, those relative all become quiet when the bill comes). One of our hosts even had the nerve to say: "Let's have breakfast at a restaurant" and brings us to a McDonalds... (My parents hate McDonalds)

All in all, I know how you feel and believe me, these guys will not be welcomed to stay at MY place in the future...

I feel for you...do they stay with you for 2 months as well? I'm fine if they are only here for a week but not 2 months. The 8 year old brat just broke my Wii 2 days ago and I am the one who has to get it fixed when I never touched it for 2 weeks now...ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH Now I tell him to be at least 3 steps away from me cuz I just don't wanna be close with him just in case that I lose my temper and beat him up.

[haowong]

In Canada, people have privacy...
living at someones house is in a way, an invasion of privacy, which is ok if they ask you for permission to stay there.


Most of the time, they just announce that they'll show they come....

I've actually had a 17 year old coming to live in our house for France for 2 month....

He pissed us off real bad!

He pissed off my parents by
- Not being polite
- Not observing curfew
- Eating our food selfishly (ex. We had a bag of sliced bread, but he didn't know and bought some for himself. Seing that our bag was already opened, he used our bread, which is fine. When our bag was finished (3 days later), he started eating his bread like he was starving or something... he'd eat toasts right after supper and all... his bag, to our amazement, was gone in less than a day, and none of my family members ever took any...



He pissed me off by
- Using my computer without permission
- Using my computer to surf the web without permission
- Using my computer to surf porn without permission
- Using my computer to surf GAY porn without permission
so when other friends would come over to use my comp (with permission), whenever they typed "www.hot" for www.hotmail.com, the autocomplete feature come fill in "www.hotgayvideos.com" !

The explorer History showed 50+ gay website visit per day... those sites were filled with spyware and stuff so whenever I would surf the web, GAY website adds would pop up...

[ktan09]

In Canada, people have privacy...
living at someones house is in a way, an invasion of privacy, which is ok if they ask you for permission to stay there.


Most of the time, they just announce that they'll show they come....

I've actually had a 17 year old coming to live in our house for France for 2 month....

He pissed us off real bad!

He pissed off my parents by
- Not being polite
- Not observing curfew
- Eating our food selfishly (ex. We had a bag of sliced bread, but he didn't know and bought some for himself. Seing that our bag was already opened, he used our bread, which is fine. When our bag was finished (3 days later), he started eating his bread like he was starving or something... he'd eat toasts right after supper and all... his bag, to our amazement, was gone in less than a day, and none of my family members ever took any...



He pissed me off by
- Using my computer without permission
- Using my computer to surf the web without permission
- Using my computer to surf porn without permission
- Using my computer to surf GAY porn without permission
so when other friends would come over to use my comp (with permission), whenever they typed "www.hot" for www.hotmail.com, the autocomplete feature come fill in "www.hotgayvideos.com" !

The explorer History showed 50+ gay website visit per day... those sites were filled with spyware and stuff so whenever I would surf the web, GAY website adds would pop up...

As much as that must suck, to hear that is quite comedic. :lol: But I do have a cousin from HK staying with me right now, yeah he gets on my nerves for a bit. I do believe in smacking him sometimes but I don't and swallow my pride for the sake of the family. One wrong gesture could lead to a sour relationship. OP I feel for you, you can do something about it but personally with mine. I'm not.

[spm24]

He pissed me off by
- Using my computer without permission
- Using my computer to surf the web without permission
- Using my computer to surf porn without permission
- Using my computer to surf GAY porn without permission
so when other friends would come over to use my comp (with permission), whenever they typed "www.hot" for www.hotmail.com, the autocomplete feature come fill in "www.hotgayvideos.com" !

The explorer History showed 50+ gay website visit per day... those sites were filled with spyware and stuff so whenever I would surf the web, GAY website adds would pop up...

So if he asked for Permission to surf for gay porn , you would have granted him it ?

i guess i am lucky never having people stay at my house longer then 2 week , and they usally are pretty good about buying there own food and when we go out taking care of themselves.

i once stayed with a friends family in flordia , right from day 1 we bought our own stuff would cook it and invite the family we were stay at to eat with us or co-ordinate some sort fo meal plan. Only thing that pissed me off is as soon as something was considered a "left over" there stoner son would eat all of it up at like 3 in the morning. this happened so much we made a meatloaf , and after the dinner was done cooked a Cat food meat loaf and wraped it up so he would eat it.

[YnD]

OP, consider yourself lucky that there is only a kid and his dad....

Whenever my "relatives" come over, its always in groups of min. 10

Then they eat all your food, (and have the nerve to ask you to go buy more) don't pay when we go to restaurants (my dad being a good host and all), don't bring gifts (which is common Chinese courtesy when going someones house and spend the night there...could be simply a handful of oranges, its the thought that counts)


When we go to their place, we bring gifts (like a box of lytchee), my dad pays for the meals we eat at the restaurant (my dad being a good guess and all, and no, he doesn't have to fight for the bill, those relative all become quiet when the bill comes). One of our hosts even had the nerve to say: "Let's have breakfast at a restaurant" and brings us to a McDonalds... (My parents hate McDonalds)



All in all, I know how you feel and believe me, these guys will not be welcomed to stay at MY place in the future...

Being silent when the bill comes...
Thats an asian tradition...

Reminds me of times when the "friends" of friends eat eat with you... they get lets say a 9.99 meal and a drink (extra)... when the bill comes...they just chip in a $10 bill not considering tax, tip, and the drink.

In my experiences.. only noticed the fobs that do this...

[aidzhsiah]

Being silent when the bill comes...
Thats an asian tradition...

Reminds me of times when the "friends" of friends eat eat with you... they get lets say a 9.99 meal and a drink (extra)... when the bill comes...they just chip in a $10 bill not considering tax, tip, and the drink.

In my experiences.. only noticed the fobs that do this...Really? All the Chinese people I know fight to the death for the bill. One time I almost thought my parents were going to come to blows with one of their friends because neither of them would let go of the bill.

[kuqdew]

haha, that 8-year-old's gonna be a super RFD'er someday

[Mike_wang]

Just confine yourself in the computer room. You can watch DVDs with your computer.

OR

Give the kid the silent treatment.

OR

Bully the kid into a submissive state.

OR

Make the kid your follower. He'll do anything you say because he'll think your cool and everything you do is right.

Kids at his age can only mimic and follow others. Use that as an advantage.

[YnD]

Really? All the Chinese people I know fight to the death for the bill. One time I almost thought my parents were going to come to blows with one of their friends because neither of them would let go of the bill.

I didn't mean adults and families... I meant when your young...I'm chinese myself and this is what I noticed in those days :)

[boonjaca]

This is a tough situation the OP is in and this happened to me awhile ago, I had a guest that stayed for a month and it was really, really painful. If a guest stays over then they should obey the rules of the house and not disturb the normal operations of the house meaning don't bring any of their existing drama from where they came from into the home.

Basically, it was a real pain in the ass as she was being rude to everyone and making up lies and bringing her problems from home over. Pissed everyone else in the house off but my parents refused to say anything. Your home should be a place you go there to chill out and not somewhere where you dread going home and have to confine yourself to your room.