Getting baby to sleep at night...

[AnnaBanana]

A few night-time questions...

1) Anyone have any tips on getting a new baby to sleep at night? At what age should i expect my baby (she's 6 weeks now) to start sleeping longer stretches overnight, and how can i encourage it?

2) When do people recommend putting the baby into their own room?

3) How do people feel about "letting the baby cry themselves to sleep"?? I know that some people swear that it is horrible for two days but by the third night the baby is fine...??

4) How can i ensure that my baby isn't completely awake following a night-time feeding? I find that i feed her, and then she is wide awake and it is often difficult to get her back to sleep even though it's 4am...

[mrcantrell]

I can only offer you what we read recently for your number 4. Most nurses/hospitals suggest that you strip the kid to the diaper for feeding, what we read said not to do that at night so the child stays warm and is more likely to fall asleep.

That being said ours won't sleep unless she's on my wife or I :lol:

[fireguy9]

A few night-time questions...

1) Anyone have any tips on getting a new baby to sleep at night? At what age should i expect my baby (she's 6 weeks now) to start sleeping longer stretches overnight, and how can i encourage it?

2) When do people recommend putting the baby into their own room?

3) How do people feel about "letting the baby cry themselves to sleep"?? I know that some people swear that it is horrible for two days but by the third night the baby is fine...??

4) How can i ensure that my baby isn't completely awake following a night-time feeding? I find that i feed her, and then she is wide awake and it is often difficult to get her back to sleep even though it's 4am...

My daughter slept right thruogh the night from 6wks on
my son was about 10wks

Were in there own rooms from day 1 at home

[yyz2hkg]

My daughter slept right thruogh the night from 6wks on
my son was about 10wks

Were in there own rooms from day 1 at home

+1 Best method... is what fireguy9 stated. I did the same in keeping my child inher own room from day 2.

[sdm242]

I don't think there are definitive answers for any of your questions. A lot depends on your personal parenting style. For our family, we used a lot of attachment parenting principles. It's what we were comfortable with and worked for us, but everyone must do what's best for their own family.

1. My girls (now 6 and 4 years old) both slept for 6+ hour stretches around 10 weeks or so.

2. We coslept with them for quite awhile. I breastfed both of them and cosleeping just made everything easier for us. They never slept in their own rooms until around age 2.5 years but for awhile before that they would sleep on a mattress beside our bed. And for anyone that's wondering, both my girls sleep great at nighttime now and go to bed with no problems at all. In fact, if they're feeling extra tired, they'll even ask to go to bed.

3. I don't believe in crying-it-out, especially for infants. A baby cries for a reason, whether it's physical discomfort, hunger or just a need to be held. I feel that it's my responsibility as a parent to respond to that cry. I might consider it for an older child though.

4. We always did nighttime feeds in bed with the lights off and never had any troubles with them waking up too much.

[3weddings]

1) Anyone have any tips on getting a new baby to sleep at night? At what age should i expect my baby (she's 6 weeks now) to start sleeping longer stretches overnight, and how can i encourage it?
What time are you settling her in? and how? Mine all slept from 8pm until about 3am nursed for about 20 minutes in a rocking chair, and then slept again until about 7am

2) When do people recommend putting the baby into their own room? We made the mistake for us to chose to co-sleep with #1. Big mistake on our part, but I had an emergency C and wasn't totally mobile at night. The other two were in their rooms from the day they came home

3) How do people feel about "letting the baby cry themselves to sleep"?? I know that some people swear that it is horrible for two days but by the third night the baby is fine...?? Many will claim that CYO (cry it out) is cruel. For us it worked, by night #2 the babies no longer did it, but consistency is key. This can become a very heated discussion for many parent, as will breastfeeding versus formula. You have to choose what works for you. Presently my stepsister has a baby, and my mother refers to her as a BRAT....she will NOT sleep unless it's on her parents. If that is what you choose and works with your lifestyle then go for it, however don't expect a night alone for a LONG time!!!

4) How can i ensure that my baby isn't completely awake following a night-time feeding? I find that i feed her, and then she is wide awake and it is often difficult to get her back to sleep even though it's 4am... How are you feeding her? I nursed mine in a glider for no more then 10 minutes per breast gently replaced them in their crib and left the room. They have to learn to put themselves to sleep.


Also,don't be afraid of the pacifier, it's not as difficult as we think to get rid of.

[nalababe]

Don't like the idea of putting them in their own room from day 1....sorry, just not the way nature intended.

Son was in a cosleeper (armsreach.com) from the day we brought him home until he was ready for a crib. Stayed in the crib, in our room until he could actually step out on to the rad and then run around the room.

Then moved him to his own room...and kept a baby monitor which we could use to trigger music or projection of stars.

We have never had a problem with him sleeping. Addtionally, I believe that due to the cosleeper, human contact could quickly settle him down, even in the worst of nights. When very little, if he would cry, we could simply put a hand out and he would stop very quickly...and we did not have to really "wake up"...better sleep for us...

Now, what did this do for him...what is in the genes, what is in the environment, but his is one of the most loving, social and empethetic 3 year olds that I know

[fireguy9]

not having them sleep in your room is probably what helped get both my kids to sleep through the night (8hrs min) at a very early age. Other thing is to not respond to every little sound they make. They will sleep;)

Baby monitors help too

[skanji]

Guys - thanks for the posts. I think we are going to have a lot of different opinions and it's cool that everyone has different ideas.

For a first time parent to be, it's really good to read up on the options we have and how it works for you all.

Thanks guys!!

[AnnaBanana]

Thanks so far for the responses...!

Here is part of the problem. The baby wakes up for a feed, i feed her (in the room, it's dark, i don't strip her down and keep movements to a minimum...) - but then i burp her and put her back in the bassinet and she either wakes up RIGHT AWAY or sleeps for 5 minutes, then wakes up completely... And if i let her cry it just gets more and more intense... So then i pick her up, rock her for a while, and try it all over again...

Any tips??

[poedua]

A few night-time questions...

1) Anyone have any tips on getting a new baby to sleep at night? At what age should i expect my baby (she's 6 weeks now) to start sleeping longer stretches overnight, and how can i encourage it?

2) When do people recommend putting the baby into their own room?

3) How do people feel about "letting the baby cry themselves to sleep"?? I know that some people swear that it is horrible for two days but by the third night the baby is fine...??

4) How can i ensure that my baby isn't completely awake following a night-time feeding? I find that i feed her, and then she is wide awake and it is often difficult to get her back to sleep even though it's 4am...

All these questions are answered in Ferbers' " classic " book....


" Solve Your Child’s Sleep Problems " , by Richard Ferber, M.D.


Bookcloseouts ( ships out of St. Catherines Ont. ) has it to order on-line for $5.99 U.S....much cheaper than $16 CDN for Indigo's on-line price ( $21 in store ) for the same book.

http://www.bookcloseouts.com/default.asp?Ntk1=Default&Ntt1=richard+ferber&Ntx1=matchall&Nsl=0&Ix=1&R=9780671620998B&Rt=2&Nty1=1

I highly recommend it, as did our pediatrician and mid-wives years back....you may also want to check out the reviews other parents gave this book ( over 300 of them ) on Amazon.com to get an idea of what a good book it really is and how it wil solve virtually any kids' sleep problems.

[shoppingmama]

Another attachment parent here. My kids co-slept until they were 2-3 years old and went to sleep in their own beds. Since I breasfed and never gave formula my kids never slept in really long stretchs but that was fine for me. I would highly advise against "BabyWise" and I'm not a fan of Ferber. I never allowed my kids to "cry it out"...I meet their needs every time. I would highly recommend Dr. Sears books, he has many and they are all wonderful!

The most important thing is to relax and listen to your gut...enjoy these snuggling moments...you are not spoiling her by picking her up and meeting her needs :)

[sixer]

People! Infants don't start learning bad habits until they're 5 and 6 months old. You CANNOT spoil an infant until that time. As result, do NOT let them cry!
If they want to be comforted, held in your arms, sleep with you, do it, because you shouldn't let them be crying.

The WHO (World Health Organization) actually changed there recommendation for infants to state "they should be kept with you in your bedroom until around 6 months."

That said, we're planning at 2-3 months to have our daughter in her own room, but prior to that our daughter will be in our bedroom either in our bed or her bassinet, whatever it takes for her to sleep.

Past 6 months, you should not sleep with your kids!

In terms of getting a baby to sleep, after feeding them, wrap them up tighly making sure their warm, then hold them until they fall asleep and then lay them in their bassinet or crib. Ovol drops work well if they have digestive problems.

Also, most people do see sleeping improvements around 6 week mark or so because the child's digestive system is now fully developed and functioning. That's why you see them crying more earlier on and having more gas.
If you had a preemie on your hands, compensate for the difference. For example, if 3 weeks early, you'll be looking at the 9 week mark.

:)

[Bullseye]

As you've noticed, there are two very distinct camps, the Sears people, and the Ferber people. Both swear their method works, and that the other will ruin your child. ;)

We had our son in a bassinet in our room for the first three months, then moved him to his own room. He started sleeping through the night (6+ hours) at 4 weeks. When he woke at night, my wife brought him into bed, put him on the breast, and then she fell back asleep. He would usually feed until he dozed off, and at some point, she would put him back in the bassinet. This worked well for us.

I also believe that you don't let infants cry it out before 3 months minimum. After that, I believe you should just use your judgement. Is the cry a needy cry, or a fussy cry? You will learn before too long to differentiate.

[kellya]

Another attachment parenting person here...and I completely agree with sdm242 and shoppingmamma :cheesygri

Kelly

edited to add - Bullseye is right - there is the Sears camp and the Feber camp - I'm in the Sears camp (highly recommend his books to everyone) and well about Feber.....let's just say, I'm not a fan.

[NorthYorker]

Thanks so far for the responses...!

Here is part of the problem. The baby wakes up for a feed, i feed her (in the room, it's dark, i don't strip her down and keep movements to a minimum...) - but then i burp her and put her back in the bassinet and she either wakes up RIGHT AWAY or sleeps for 5 minutes, then wakes up completely... And if i let her cry it just gets more and more intense... So then i pick her up, rock her for a while, and try it all over again...

Any tips?? I got a feeling she might be cold when you put her back in the bassinet. Their thermoregulation system is undeveloped in 1st weeks (or even months) of their lives, she get very warm from your body heat and then you abruptly put her into cold bed. She wakes up from cold and, since she actually wants to sleep, you have all the fun from cranky person (and she's a person). My wife did what Bullseye described (left kids in our beds after night feeding) with our kids. It did the trick, although I have to admit that babies have natural talent create lot of trouble rolling from side to side :) They slept in their own cribs in our room until sometime around 2 years old.

[g0f15h]

Just ask your babies doctor. Sleeping through the night without feeding an newborn infant is abuse in my opinion. Its tough being a parent but it does get easier. Try having dad do the midnight and 6am feeding and mom can do the 3am one. Dad willl manage with broken sleep and moms learn to nap when baby does. Infants clocks are all wonky and it takes time to get them into a day/night rythm of sorts.

Look for baby wellness clinics where you can go for regular weighings to confirms your doing things right. There is no right or wrong way as long as baby is gaining weight. Some bottle fed may sleep 8hrs while breast fed ones go only a few. Trust your instincts, ask grandma or older sisters.

Don't feel weird wearing earplugs if ya have to get through those intense cries your first infant lays upon you. Baby has no idea your muffelling her cries while your with her and if it makes you feel a bit more corfortable its all well.

No one can describe how those first few months of life are like. Its really hard but worth it and you'll want it again soon enough go figure.

[fireguy9]

Just ask your babies doctor. Sleeping through the night without feeding an newborn infant is abuse in my opinion.


You consider a baby sleeping through the night without feeding, abuse? what age? Rethink that statement!!

My 2 kids as mentioned,, right through the night age 6 wks and 10wks,,, plenty of weight gain on formula from pretty much 2nd week.

[canadiankorean]

I have a newborn (5 weeks) and I find my baby also tends to be wide awake after feeding.. especially around 1am...

What I usually do is...
1. Bounce/Rock her in my arms while gently slapping her butt for abour 10minutes...
2. If that doesn't work.. I lay her in a bassinet and give her visual stimulation like a black and white toy that makes scrunchy noises for 10minutes.
3. Swaddle her and rock her for 10minutes while talking about anything outloud.
4. Finally I will put on white noise (water running for me) and rock her. Sometimes I'll use a soother.

Usually after 20-30 minutes she'll get sleepy and fall asleep.
It doesn't always work.. but I think I have a 80% success rate.
After this method, she usually sleeps for a good 1.5-2 hours.

Also my wife puts her to sleep by leaving her in the bed after a lying down breastfeeding session.

My 5 week old still wakes up every 3 hours or so every night for breastfeeding. We always pick her up when she cries and try to sooth her. It doesn't always work immediately but like people said, it's better to comfort them immediately. I always try to exercise her senses, visually with high contrast toys, audibly with talking and music and touch with infant massages and moving her limbs. But I'm no expert....

[torontodragon]

People! Infants don't start learning bad habits until they're 5 and 6 months old. You CANNOT spoil an infant until that time. As result, do NOT let them cry!
If they want to be comforted, held in your arms, sleep with you, do it, because you shouldn't let them be crying.:)

Agree. Some babies will stop crying when no attention, but some will even get worse. If they do not get the comfort they want, you'll learn the hard way in the future.

Believe it or not babies have their own characters, some can sleep overnight very easily but some can drag you for a long time.

My experience is to work on yourself rather than working on the baby. Get enough sleep time yourself together with him/her so when the baby woke up at night without getting back to sleep quick, you will still be comfortable. But don't play with the baby to keep her awake.

I found also feeding her full on her last meal do help her sleep longer. And sometimes if you do need to feed her in middle of night, try doing it one later than the other. They will learn to sleep longer.

Just my 2 cents.

[g0f15h]

[QUOTE=g0f15h;4722174]Just ask your babies doctor. Sleeping through the night without feeding an newborn infant is abuse in my opinion.QUOTE]


You consider a baby sleeping through the night without feeding, abuse? what age? Rethink that statement!!

My 2 kids as mentioned,, right through the night age 6 wks and 10wks,,, plenty of weight gain on formula from pretty much 2nd week.

I used the age "newborn infant". Hard to be more specific than that as all babes are different. Most are not considered "newborn infants" at 10 weeks as is your case. Abuse is putting your needs for sleep first. A 2 week old is being abused if there is no weight gain and parents are snoozing all night.

She will get into a sleep rythm in time and will walk and potty train on her own schedule also with a bit of support. If not, her husband will soon fix that.

[Bullseye]

I forgot to mention our best tip for getting babies to sleep through the night! We never let our son nap after 6pm, that was our rule. This way he would always be good and tired by bedtime, which started around 1am at first, then slowly moved back to 8-9pm as he put on weight and was able to sleep longer without needing feeding. If he got dozy in the evenings, we would just stimulate him to keep him up longer.

Nowadays, our son is almost 2, and the nap rule is 4pm. If we let him sleep any later than that, he won't be tired when we put him to bed at 7-8pm.

[Gaffer]

Sleeping throught the night is a concept that babies dont really get, especially when they are young. In the first months, they really need to be fed since they dont have the reserves to carry themselves though the night.

We have been lucky and our 9mo has been sleeping through the night since about 3 months, but before that he would be up once, pound an entire bottle, and go back down. Obviously he was hungry.

We went away for 4 nights, and he stayed with Grandparents who would pick him up at every peep and groan, and feed him. We got him back, and we knew that he could make it through the night so we let him cry it out. It is not as horrible as it sounds. We used the 3 minutes cry, comfort him but not pick him up for a minute, and then 5 minutes of crying.

That was all it took for us to get him sleeping through the night. I will not lie, listenting to him cry was tough on my wife and I, but we knew he could sleep through the night.

Parenting is such a personal thing, trust your gut and do what is best for you, your wife and your baby.

Gaf

[The Rochester Mirkins]

Good luck, my baby is colicky. If anyone has use for a very cute air raid siren/opera singer let me know. Gripe water, oval, chiropractor, voodoo princess who slaughtered a chicken, all to no avail. I guess I will get plenty of sleep when I am dead.

[tomincanada]

Good luck, my baby is colicky. If anyone has use for a very cute air raid siren/opera singer let me know. Gripe water, oval, chiropractor, voodoo princess who slaughtered a chicken, all to no avail. I guess I will get plenty of sleep when I am dead.

My heart goes out to you :) I think with colicky babies the only way to deal with it is alcohol (for the parents of course).

The only advice I have for any that are listening is routine. Make sure you can get the baby into a routine as soon as possible. I guarantee when they are 1 or 2 the babies who have a routine for the most part sleep better than those that don't.

[Drthorne]

our 16month old has always gone to sleep around 7pm since she was 2 months old, we wake her up around 11pm to change her diaper and she has a bottle, then back to sleep 10 minutes later. she then sleeps until 7 or 8am in the morning

[pfbmgd]

From day one we started a routine of bath,bottle(breast)then bed.Our daughter has slept on her own since 3 months .We continue with our routine 20 months later .In fact our daughter asks for baths at night when she gets tired .

[Shawness]

another Sears fan here:
"“Science tells us that when babies cry alone and unattended, they experience panic and anxiety. Their bodies and brains are flooded with adrenaline and cortisol stress hormones. Science has also found that when developing brain tissue is exposed to these hormones for prolonged periods these nerves won’t form connections to other nerves and will degenerate.”

“One study (at Harvard) showed infants who experienced persistent crying episodes were 10 times more likely to have ADHD as a child, along with poor school performance and antisocial behavior. The researchers concluded these findings may be due to the lack of responsive attitude of the parents toward their babies.”

[Trooper8111]

Wives' tale: Flip the baby over gently on your arm if the baby sleeps during the day but is awake at night.

[getmail99]

Another attachment parenting person here...and I completely agree with sdm242 and shoppingmamma :cheesygri

Kelly


another one. :)

[llbgal]

another one. :)

Me too! I think you also have to realize that thosebabies that are formula fed may sleep longer since it is not as easily digested as breastmilk.

With baby #1 -- he became quite colicky (later diagnosed with a sensitivity to barley/malt... which is in an insanely large number of things and was likely getting passed to him through my milk....) we had him diagnosed by a naturopath who was able to do NON-invasive food sensitivity testing... learned a lot... cut out the offending foods and life was happier.

Also, I don't think that necessarily asking your family doc. is the way to go... read the different views (Sears, Ferber)... and see what feels right for you. It is a VERY personal choice. All I know is that I do not believe in CIO -- as babies my children did not have to cry (other than my son when he was colicky which was resolved)... their needs are/were met and people always comment/ed on how calm my babies are/were.

If you opt for attachment parenting and co-sleeping... just make sure it is done safely.

Also, it is interesting to note from Sears and others that babies sleeping in their own rooms is largely a North American phenomenon!