Do you find it difficult to forgive others.

[DGSYS]

Do you find it difficult to forgive others?

[Kommander_KornFlakes]

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Not if they haven't done anything to me.

[perplexed_one]

this is a really good topic.

it depends for me. im somewhat religious and I do feel a need to forgive ppl as it is human nature to err. however I do get very pissed when someone does something hurtful. but i dont think id be able to forgive someone for embarassing me (cept my mom:) )

[gman]

Do you find it difficult to forgive others?

Not really. You just need to remember the good and forget the bad.

[JaGWiRE]

Not really. You just need to remember the good and forget the bad.


Ditto.

[ZenOps]

Forget about them not doing anything to me. Ala *Bush & Tony Blair* if you're not helping me, you are my enemy. Big corporate business is the exact same way, if your not helping then you are direct competition.

Standard British upbringing (and many other cultures) will always make people think this way. Its very progressive, but also very brutal - and may be the reason why WWI, WWII, and eventually WWIII will probably be mostly European in scope.

Canadian upbringing is most definitely live and let live however..

But thats probably a little deeper than you wanted to hear...

[kingfencer]

i can forgive the driver that swirve into me and almost killed me, cause i don't know him, i can't forgive a friend who dosn't pay me my 5 bucks back.:mad:

[plucky duck]

I think I messed things up real bad. Forgiving someone for their mistake I find is much easier than it is trying to forgive myself for something I did. It seems every time I'm at a crossroad I choose the wrong path, whether it be education, work, or relationships. Whether it is the right path I don't know, but all I know is I feel MUCH more miserable than I did prior speaking from my heart. Some things said and done really can't be reversed. The damage is done and I don't know how to go about making things better for all involved.

Should I or should I not try? How does it matter whether I do or not? I really don't know. Part of my problem is I don't know how to approach the problem. My previous attempt at communication (although some may say text and email is lame and weak) went unanswered and not sure if I should make a final attempt and simply call (which I feel is really what I should've done in the first place but was way too much of a wuss.) and whatever the outocme is at least I got an answer whether I like it or not. But then I fear calling cause I fear the answer I get is not the answer I hope for.

I don't want to think about it but I can't stop thinking about it. I really do suck at life.

[gman]

My purpose to forgive another person is to help my own self instead of helping that person. Most of the time, it is painful not to forgive.

Forgiving myself is also easy since you are talking about decision. What I need to do is to ask myself if I go back in time, will I make the same decision (without knowing what had happened)? Most of the time, the answer is yes. In other words, I did not make a mistake. It is just the way it is.

If that still can't help, then I would think if I did not make that decison, would any good things disappear? Most of the time, the answer is yes.

[Tijuana]

it all depends on the magnitude. What event do you consider requires forgiveness. And are you talking about actual forgiveness, not jsut a sorry for forgetting to get soemthing

[stevethewheel]

For most things it's not difficult to me. The odd time I feel really burned and that makes it a lot harder but I eventually get my mind around it.

[AudiDude]

I'll have to try it once and get back to you...

[bubble.tea]

My purpose to forgive another person is to help my own self instead of helping that person. ....

very true.

Along the same lines is holding a grudge.

Be it a co-worker., friend., acquaintance...I have a seemingly infinite amount of forgiveness that I give to close friends., and professionally when I know that doing so will only play into MY advantage by doing it...EVEN if it means APPEARING to swallow my pride, and accepting the results of the incident.

It's a hard game. Ultimately you're letting yourself eat yourself inside out by holding a grudge. BUT DAMMIT...SOMETIMES IT'S SO HARD.

I was thinking of starting a thread about friendship and this sorta thing? Would people be interested in that? I don't want to thread-jack...but I'm more interested in friendship dynamics., this thread kind of is more open to more than just forgiveness within friendship.

ne1? Bueller? Bueller?

[sans]

yes, extremely difficult. i keep tabs on it though cause one day i will exact my revenge on these people and it's not gonna be pretty. :twisted:

[bubble.tea]

Here's a good point from myself anyway.

I can honestly say that if I get an apology., I WILL forgive-almost instantaneously, wipe the slate clean, and basically water-under-the-bridge. It is those incidents, and occasions where the party invovled DOESN'T offer the apology that I begin to consider NOT forgiving, and keeping the grudge (VERy few of these in my lifetime Thank God).

[UrbanPoet]

i forgive everyone... I know they are gonna get it in the End :mad:
But yah... If something happens like my gf fcuks some other guy ill forgive her.. i just wont ever be with her anymore, itll hurt... but ill start the cycle of letting go and healing...

thats my philosophy on life.

[hyperion]

I'm a very forgiving person.

[bubble.tea]

I'm a very forgiving person.

you too eh?

are we 'week' for forgiving people?

[MizTEcK]

good question... that's some food for thought through the christmas break... thanks :)

[cookiejunkie]

i think it all depends on the situation

[deep]

Here's a good point from myself anyway...
Well, I'm glad we can be certain that you're making a good point, as you've....told us...that you're making a good point.

...I can honestly say...
As soon as I read that, I know someone is lying.

are we 'week' for forgiving people?
You're an entire month for forgiving people.

There is no true forgiveness without complete forgetfulness....and I never forget.

[bubble.tea]

Well, I'm glad we can be certain that you're making a good point, as you've....told us...that you're making a good point.


As soon as I read that, I know someone is lying.


You're an entire month for forgiving people.

There is no true forgiveness without complete forgetfulness....and I never forget.

mmmmm., I forgive your sincerity strewn with sarcasm midnight post tonight.

feel free to reiterate using less subtle humour...it's getting late, and you lost me at "hello".

[hyperion]

you too eh?

are we 'week' for forgiving people?

Sometimes I felt like I shouldn't have, or it came back to bite me in the ass. But screw it, you can't change who you are.

[bubble.tea]

........you can't change who you are.

lolz...well technically you can...IT JUST FEELS REAL FRIKKIN' WEIRD.

[junglebass]

if they didnt try to fk me up, it just happend, then yes(might of been some of my fault...)

BUT people who fked me up, NEVER! someday ill come back to canada just to get revenge

yes i know im a difficult person

[PrinceMS]

Forgive But never forget (the lesson)
Forgive an honest mistake, but not a habit


and for who have problem of choosing wrong decidsion:
- Take your sweet time deciding!
- Think of someone (successful) , what / how would they deal with this situation
- Try baby steps for the solution (to test if its a good solution), before whole heartdly getting into it.

[dougi3000]

I do not forgive people that take advantage of my good will.

I am an electronic junkie and overall nice guy. I give my friends the benefit of the doubt the first time. If they take advantage of that, then screw you.

examples.
I lend out a video game to my friend. He can borrow it for one week. One week passes, I ask for it back. I don't get it back for another 2 weeks. No more games for him.

I lend out my car to my friend, he said he will be back at 10pm and will fill the tank. Ok so the plan is he returns it at 10pm, i go to bed. 11pm rolls by, i am dead tired need to wake up early for work the next day, no call, he doesnt have a cell, I don't know where he is. He returns at 11:20pm, tank is empty "I thought it would be ok if i took it a bit longer, I didn't have time to fill the tank." BZZZzzz WRONG ANSWER (of course there isn't a right answer). "Can you drive me home?" OMGWTFBBQ?! it is almost 11:30! I was a nice guy and drove him home. GRRRrr.. he is never getting the car again, no matter how much he whines. "I don't understand, if your other friends take advantage of you, why would that apply to me?" DURRRRrrrrrrrrr.........


And the most annoying and most often occuring situations is, lending something to someone and they are picking it up. I agree to him picking up something at let's say 11am. 11am rolls by, no one around, 12pm rolls by, no one there. I call, "I'm still at home, I'll come by now" GRRRRrrrrrr..... 1pm rolls by, I call again, "I had to go drive someone to some place, coming now" GRrrrrrrrrrrrrr............ 2pm rolls by, "I'll be right there", 3pm rolls by "I was eating lunch with my friend", 4 pm rolls by "I had to go to someplace and pick up something." 5pm, He arrrives, picks up his junk. And i am frustrated, waste my entire day.

Next time, if he doesn't come on time, no one is going to answer the door, or he isnt getting anything. Because I have plans, if they are late, tough luck i am gone.

When they want to borrow something, I'd expect them to not show up. If they do show up it will be at LEAST 3 hours late, then I wont be around. I now refuse to meet someone at some place because they will be late or not show up. No lunch plans, no dinner plans, no movie plans. If you want to meet up, meet me at the place I am going to be at, if you are late, I will not wait for you. :D

[bubble.tea]

DANG., dougi...you're friends....cough acquaintances have trouble with punctualimity.

[TenzoR]

I'm too lazy to keep a grudge, but it doesn't mean I forget

[nini1204]

i think this really depends on what aspect of life you're referring to & what exactly was done that may offended me...for example:

1) family - i don't think my parents could ever do something that i won't be able to forgive...because i know they have nothing but the best intention at heart for me, so even if the result may not always reflect the intent, i'll be able to over look the end result...& to be fair, initial reaction may not be as logical as how i'm saying it now, but i know that with bit of time i won't hold grudge.

2) relationship - depending on the level of commitment & trust, i think many will react differently...personally speaking, it heavily depend on what happened...ie: cheating is a death certificate to a relationship imo...tho sadly some may be able to over look it, but i'm not sure if i can ever do that...i think i have too much respect for myself...most importantly, if it can happens, even if it's only once, i think i would lose trust completely (i'm quite cautious to begin with & takes quite abit of time to earn my trust)...lastly, i don't know if i would be able to see the person the same way & have the same respect for the person...so to answer the question if it's difficult to forgive, for many it'll depend on what actually happend of course, but overall i think would be a challenge to forgive if it's a black&white issue with no misunderstanding from my part.

3) social circle - overall i don't have high expectation from my close frds, to me they are here for me emotionally if i'm ever in need...i don't know if there are too much they can do to really tick me off since i dont' expect alot to begin with.

[kcorscadden]

I think it all depends on the situation and how severe it was.

If a friend of mine started a rumor about me in high school and I got picked on and that and then found that that friend had started the rumor, ya I would be mad but I would forgive them

If someone killed my parents and was sentenced to life in prison and then the prison randomly called you and asked that you come to the prison as the killer would like to seek forgiveness from you. Would you forgive them? Probably not as that person took your parents from you and you will never see them again.

So as you can see it is simply 2 sceneros that have one that is more extreme than the other. All comes down to the situation and how severe it was.