Q: Would you date someone who had health problems- if you didn't find out till later?

[Steeve Urkel]

I was debating this question with one of my friends and just want to know people's opinions.

Would you date someone who has health problems like Cancer, liver problems or Epilepsy?
Like if they were pretty young and you met someone at a club...and they looked "normal" but then a week or 2 later you find out the person is really sick.
But not with anything contagious?

I'm just wondering about this as I know this girl who is single , but has Epilepsy and has to go to the doctors all the time.
If she did meet someone, what should she say to this person?

Any suggestions on what my friend could say?
or should she just not mention anything at all for like a few months?

[technut]

Back in my dating days (about 30 years ago) if I was into someone then no health problem could stop me from wanting to be with that person and continuing the relationship. If you really fall for someone, you just want to spend time together and you try to help that person deal with any issues they have (health or otherwise).

I think if someone would call off a relationship because of something like you describe, then they really weren't that into you to start with.

[shad0w*]

well said technut.

[eelfliw]

It really depends on the problem.

Cancer, Liver etc. I'm fine with.

AIDS, smoking, STD, narcotics or alcohol dependency, anorexia etc. I will not accept.

Epilepsy is a maybe. There are different types of epilepsy. It depends on how drugged they are.

[Nemodigital]

It really depends how far along in the relationship I was before I found out. Most likely I would continue dating the person but I think I would have to be in that situation to make that call.

[random1]

Its important to be honest when the relationship gets serious. Otherwise things just fall apart. Should probably just be honest from the get-go. Would be awful if you have a seizure and your date doesn't know what the hell is going on and things just sorta go downhill from there.

In general, if your disease/condition is gonna affect the relationship somehow, you should tell the person.

i.e. Perhaps you've got allergies...you go to a restaurant, eat something that contains what you're allergic to and go into anaphylactic shock. Your date doesn't know what to do while your brain becomes permanently damaged due to lack of oxygen and your epipen is right there in your purse.

[webdoctors]

i;m in between, that was a factor in one of my relationships....rite now sorta worried cause her parents had health problems, so hope not genetic...

it really depends where u r in da relationship

[enforcerviper]

It really depends on the problem.

Cancer, Liver etc. I'm fine with.

AIDS, smoking, STD, narcotics or alcohol dependency, anorexia etc. I will not accept.

Epilepsy is a maybe. There are different types of epilepsy. It depends on how drugged they are.

I agree with this, well put.

[Anessa]

I'd expect honesty about it. First and foremost. I think if the person was in the terminal stages of cancer then probably not.

[Steeve Urkel]

I agree with this, well put.

Yeah,
I wasn't talking about any contagious diseases- just like what if the person had a "chronic" health problem or something that never went away.
Like one of my friends/aquaintances has kidney problems and he has had these problems for 15 years already.
He also had to go to the hospital 2 times a week for the rest of his life....so I really feel bad for him.
He's not that old either, in his 40's about. >:(

[UrbanPoet]

It really depends on the problem.

Cancer, Liver etc. I'm fine with.

AIDS, smoking, STD, narcotics or alcohol dependency, anorexia etc. I will not accept.

Epilepsy is a maybe. There are different types of epilepsy. It depends on how drugged they are.

:(
I have this... but i was born with it. I hope u dont think all ppl that have epilepsy have it b/c they did too much crack...
And the drugs you take to prevent seizures dont make u act weird. Ive lived a very fufilling and fruitful life with it. (im 21 yrs old)

[dalinxz]

its all about the love people havent any of you seen 50 first dates?

[Steeve Urkel]

:(
I have this... but i was born with it. I hope u dont think all ppl that have epilepsy have it b/c they did too much crack...
And the drugs you take to prevent seizures dont make u act weird. Ive lived a very fufilling and fruitful life with it. (im 21 yrs old)

I know a couple people who have epilepsy and they are somewhat normal.(well like most other pple that is.... :lol:
One of my former best friends has epilepsy and I don't think the drugs did anything bad to her.
I'm not friends with her anymore because she bacame a ***** for no reason, she bacame super rude because i am in school and she is not...

[eelfliw]

:(
I have this... but i was born with it. I hope u dont think all ppl that have epilepsy have it b/c they did too much crack...
And the drugs you take to prevent seizures dont make u act weird. Ive lived a very fufilling and fruitful life with it. (im 21 yrs old)
Yes. Like Cancer, Epilepsy is not something you can catch from someone and are usually born with. Many epileptic ppl can function perfectly normal. One of my close friends has it and there's no way anyone can tell.

However, when the doctor found out, he prescribed medication that turned her into a zombie. So, instead of having a seizure once every 3 month, she lives in a daze daily.

She quickly stopped taking the drug and everything's back to normal again. She tried alternative medicine (meditation) plus changing her lifestyle (less stress) and it has been working well. It's been 4 years and no recurrance.

Hope this info helps.

[CodecX81]

My fiancee had cancer for the first 2 years of our relationship. As did her grandmother & grandfather (who have since both passed)

But, we stuck thru it and she's been in remission for the last 4 years. It was tough on both of us, the strain of university, therapy and the emotional element was extremely painful to get through, but it turned out alright ;)

(We're getting married afterall.) lol

[danfromwaterloo]

I was debating this question with one of my friends and just want to know people's opinions.

Would you date someone who has health problems like Cancer, liver problems or Epilepsy?
Like if they were pretty young and you met someone at a club...and they looked "normal" but then a week or 2 later you find out the person is really sick.
But not with anything contagious?

I'm just wondering about this as I know this girl who is single , but has Epilepsy and has to go to the doctors all the time.
If she did meet someone, what should she say to this person?

Any suggestions on what my friend could say?
or should she just not mention anything at all for like a few months?

lol...oh my god.

No way...I prefer my women eugenically pure. Arian if possible.

I'm epileptic. 1% of the population is epileptic. It doesn't mean you're ill or sick...it's very similar to a person who faints a lot. That's it. She may or may not have to avoid certain smells or flashing lights...she probably doesn't drink.

What would a person with epilepsy say? Hi, my name is __________. Nice to meet you.

Everybody has something wrong with them. Some people are born with tails. Some people have one foot longer than the other, some have epilepsy.

[effie]

How would you feel if you had some disease like you're describing in this thread, and somebody you cared deeply about no longer wanted to see you (on an intimate basis) because you suffered from an affliction? How would this feel to you?

Do you realize that this rules out, for example: Paula Abdul (panic disorder); Drew Barrymore (substance abuse, depression); Kim Basinger (panic disorder); Ned Beatty (bipolar disorder); Jim Carey (clinical depression); Sheryl Crow (clinical depression)....

And this represents just a few grains of sand in the Desert of Disease....why would anybody deny themselves the chance to know somebody intimately & deeply just because the other person is sick?

How many women would turn away Tom Cruise simply because he has dyslexia? How many men would have turned down Princess Diana simply because she had an eating disorder?

[tinlunlau]

if it was terminal cancer....sure...why not?
at least, grant the person some love before she goes. i won't feel guilty..

some of you should read or watch "Scorates in Love" (aka "Sekai no Chuushin de, Ai wo Sakebu" or as translated into English "Crying out Love in the centre of the world"). it's about a man who reminisces his teenage years when he had a girlfriend who was suffering from leukemia in 1987. and if anybody knew better, leukemia was incureable up until 1991. powerful, powerful literature here!

[enforcerviper]

Yeah,
I wasn't talking about any contagious diseases- just like what if the person had a "chronic" health problem or something that never went away.
Like one of my friends/aquaintances has kidney problems and he has had these problems for 15 years already.
He also had to go to the hospital 2 times a week for the rest of his life....so I really feel bad for him.
He's not that old either, in his 40's about. >:(

I'm 25 and already past my doctors and sugeon's "life expectantcy". I already know what I'm SUPPOSED to die from, but that doesn't matter to me, neither MOST of the girlfriends I had in the past.

We can all die from anything at anytime, so what's the big deal? Date and have fun.

[Yaowsers]

Yes if she's rich and no prenup

[FastFokker]

Health is important to me, I wouldn't want to be with someone who is going to have an early departing on this life.

If I was with someone and later they developed health issues, that's a different story, but I wouldn't seek out someone with health problems.