Rate The Joke Above You

[→ElectroLux←]

An atheist scientist challenged God telling him that he could create life too, so being "god" was nothing out of the ordinary. God told him "Oh yeah? I'll take your bet, let's do it". The scientist then said "Alright, I'll need water, a flask, proteins, minerals and amino acids".

God said to him: "F*ck off, get your own stuff!". :D

[wanted]

Your Face !!!
6/10

[→ElectroLux←]

1/10 for being a lame attack attempt, your attempt at being funny earning you the "1" :razz:

[wanted]

1/10 for being a lame attack attempt, your attempt at being funny earning you the "1" :razz:


kk, heres a good joke. Make sure you've all been to the washroom (in case you pee your pants)...alright you guys ready...make sure....last check to go the washroom.....make sure not a lot of people around, you might burst out laughing....which may seem very strange......ok....are you ready....i'll give a couple more seconds......last of the last check to go to the washrooom.....ok here it is....kk, one more second......















JOKING. :lol: :lol: :lol:

[kornstar369]

*rate the joke above you*

so here we go...rate this cheeeesey one:

jo mama's so PHat that when she sits around the house...........she actually sits...AROOOOOUND....the house :)

[UrbanPoet]

yo madda is so fat
when she jump for joy.
she got STUCK!

[wanted]

*rate the joke above you*

so here we go...rate this cheeeesey one:

jo mama's so PHat that when she sits around the house...........she actually sits...AROOOOOUND....the house :)


9/10...that was good. :lol:
First time hearing this too.

[kornstar369]

yo madda is so fat
when she jump for joy.
she got STUCK!
haha russel.....haha...ok...now back on track

[yatko]

A lawyer named Strange died, and his friend asked the tombstone maker to inscribe on his tombstone, "Here lies Strange, an honest man, and a lawyer." The stone-carver insisted that such an inscription would be confusing, for passersby would tend to think that three men were buried beneath the stone. However he suggested an alternative. He would inscribe:
"Here lies a man who was both honest and a lawyer."
That way, whenever anyone walked by the tombstone and read it, they would be certain to remark:
"That's Strange!"

[MizTEcK]

A lawyer named Strange died, and his friend asked the tombstone maker to inscribe on his tombstone, "Here lies Strange, an honest man, and a lawyer." The stone-carver insisted that such an inscription would be confusing, for passersby would tend to think that three men were buried beneath the stone. However he suggested an alternative. He would inscribe:
"Here lies a man who was both honest and a lawyer."
That way, whenever anyone walked by the tombstone and read it, they would be certain to remark:
"That's Strange!"
are there limits to the type of jokes? i know a whole loads of racist jokes but someone might find them offensive

[Likestuff4free]

Whats the diff between a pick pocket and a peeping tom?

One snatches watches............

[squall458]

Whats the diff between a pick pocket and a peeping tom?

One snatches watches............
hahaha 10/10! i never heard of that one!!!

[MizTEcK]

a rabbit and a bear taking ***** in the woods. The bear turns to the rabbit and asks: "hey arent u bothered when ***** sticks to your fur?" the rabbit replies: "not really, no"

so the bear whipped his ass with the rabbit

[kornstar369]

a rabbit and a bear taking ***** in the woods. The bear turns to the rabbit and asks: "hey arent u bothered when ***** sticks to your fur?" the rabbit replies: "not really, no"

so the bear whipped his ass with the rabbit
hahahaaa...so simple yet so effective...i luv it A++++ buyer! excellent trader...hook me up with your heatware mon! ;)


ok...um...


jo mamas like pepsi........EVERYONE gets a taste test

[CSR]

Yo mama's pussy is so hairy that she gave u a rug burn wen u were born,,,,

[andrewemilio]

Three gay men are in a bar, one of them farts, but it's silent and nobody notices. Everybody keeps talking. A few minutes later, the second one farts, it's not quite as silent, but nobody notices. A few more minutes go by, and the third gay man really let's one rip, the other two gay men look over and shout, "VIRGIN!"

[StarStrike]

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWW........These jokes are starting to get really sick.

[kornstar369]

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWW........These jokes are starting to get really sick.
..."jokes"...

:) smile...cant you feel the RfD luuuuuuuuuuuuuuv ;)

[deadlee]

a rabbit and a bear taking ***** in the woods. The bear turns to the rabbit and asks: "hey arent u bothered when ***** sticks to your fur?" the rabbit replies: "not really, no"

so the bear whipped his ass with the rabbit

i'm SOO "delirious" after reading that joke :twisted:

[ainsane]

Three gay men are in a bar, one of them farts, but it's silent and nobody notices. Everybody keeps talking. A few minutes later, the second one farts, it's not quite as silent, but nobody notices. A few more minutes go by, and the third gay man really let's one rip, the other two gay men look over and shout, "VIRGIN!"

Hahah 8.5/10.

And you people are supposed to rate a joke and tell your own. You're just giving comments like "ewww"! :o

Anyway here's mine:

How do you fit 4 gay guys on 1 bar stool?
....
....
Flip the stool upsidedown!

[→ElectroLux←]

How do you fit 4 gay guys on 1 bar stool?
....
....
Flip the stool upsidedown!


hahaha, 8/10


----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Here's another joke:


One time there was this stingy and I mean stingy guy in this town and his car had broken down in the highway. He got out and saw he had a flat tire. He then started to motion other cars to stop so they would lend him a jack but nobody stopped because he was well-known around town to be a tightwad. From 9:00am in the morning till 8:00pm at night he was motioning cars to stop to no avail, it then started to rain so he finally said "Aww f*ck this, I'll use my own jack then even if it wears out a little" and proceeded to take out his jack from the trunk. :razz:

[mrmoe]

whats brown and sticky?
a stick.

[BladeX]

^ -5/10



your so dumb you went to sleep with a ruler to see how long you slept

[peterbrowne]

^ -5/10



your so dumb you went to sleep with a ruler to see how long you slept
2.5/3
works but its not the best

two people are climbing down a ladder when one falls the other climbs back up. the fallen one asks for help and the other replies 'why, you jumped down'

[computer01]

So... this pirate walks into a bar and he's got a steering wheel stuck down the front of his pants.

The barkeep looks up and sees him. Confused, he asks the pirate, "Do you know that you've got a steering wheel in your pants?"

The pirate replies, "Arrrr.... it's driving me nuts."

[P__S__2]

^lol 8/10

Why did the chicken cross the road...?


TO go to KFC...





(my joke= not really funny)

[Montecore]

hahaha, 8/10


----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Here's another joke:


One time there was this stingy and I mean stingy guy in this town and his car had broken down in the highway. He got out and saw he had a flat tire. He then started to motion other cars to stop so they would lend him a jack but nobody stopped because he was well-known around town to be a tightwad. From 9:00am in the morning till 8:00pm at night he was motioning cars to stop to no avail, it then started to rain so he finally said "Aww f*ck this, I'll use my own jack then even if it wears out a little" and proceeded to take out his jack from the trunk. :razz:
* yawn*....... 2/10

[MizTEcK]

i'm SOO "delirious" after reading that joke :twisted:
u know whats sad? that joke was the best part of the whole show ;)

[kornstar369]

u know whats sad? that joke was the best part of the whole show ;)
yea, that WAS funny eh...i like this thread....lets go...more more more...none come to mind right now except those awesome mama jokes i posted earlier...lol



Your know you're Portuguese if.................


1. Your mother's name is Maria something
2. Christmas Eve is much more important than Christmas
3. Several people in your family are named "Joao"
4. Your father is...yup...you guessed it...a construction
worker...wait-no...maybe a carpenter
6. Your house is fully equipped with two stoves...(one is in the kitchen
downstairs, which your uncle, father, and/or grandpa(built)
7. You earned over $10,000 for your first communion.
8. The hell with Turkey and roast Beef!! Christmas dinner is Bacalhau
baby!
9. A BBQ does not consist of Burgers on the grill...Hello! can you say
sardinhas???
10. Your parents own 9 houses in Portugal, but complain "O dinheiro e
pouco"
11. You've had your license for a month, but your $20,000 car has been
"hooked up" for a year. I'm talking Rims, tints, a system...
12. A wooden spoon = discipline
13. Your parents anticipate that you marry your first long-term
boyfriend/girlfriend
14. You try and do the "messy backstreet boy hair" thing, but you just
end up looking like every other "chop"
15. Every women cleans the house on Saturday
16. Someone in your family plays the accordion
17. Going to Portugal involves buying gifts for every person in your 100
member family
18. Peneleiro (***) is definitely NOT a pot-maker
19. Nothing beats a buttered Portuguese roll
20. You've got the annoying "P" on the corner of
your windshield (as if we didn't know you were a chop already by the car
that you drive)
21. you talk with your hands while you're on the phone...or just in
general
22. you have grape vines, favas, or couves growing in your back yard
23. you eat "cozido" at least once a month
24. you drink wine with everything.... I MEAN EVERYTHING
25. you walk in religious parades carrying a flag, or dressed up in a red
cloak
26. you have a "tia Maria" and/or "tio Jose"
27. you say "the continent" referring to main land Portugal
28. your house has more plants in it than outside of
29. you decorate your walls with plates
30. your house is a mini church with just as may statues of saints and
Jesus as your church itself
31. you have to stay up till 12:00am on Christmas eve to open your gifts
32. you know what Bacalhau or a Malassada is
33. your Vavo comes to your house, and spends 75% of the day cleaning
34. your live-in kitchen is in your basement
35. people call you "pork and cheese" and you're not offended by it
36. You have a room in your house where everyone is forbidden to go to
or be in...you know... the room with your first communion picture
37. your idea of a good lunch is a "papeseco" a portuguese bun
38. you have crocheted doilies on your kitchen counters, dinning room,
living room, bedroom...oh fuk...on all your tables
39. your barbecue has grilled more fish than any other meat known to man
40. you can hold more than one beer in your hand, plus a shot of Aniz in
the other
41. you have a rooster napkin holder

[yatko]

A lawyer named Strange died, and his friend asked the tombstone maker to inscribe on his tombstone, "Here lies Strange, an honest man, and a lawyer." The stone-carver insisted that such an inscription would be confusing, for passersby would tend to think that three men were buried beneath the stone. However he suggested an alternative. He would inscribe:
"Here lies a man who was both honest and a lawyer."
That way, whenever anyone walked by the tombstone and read it, they would be certain to remark:
"That's Strange!"

^^^Someone vote for my joke now!

[coolpc]

A lawyer named Strange died, and his friend asked the tombstone maker to inscribe on his tombstone, "Here lies Strange, an honest man, and a lawyer." The stone-carver insisted that such an inscription would be confusing, for passersby would tend to think that three men were buried beneath the stone. However he suggested an alternative. He would inscribe:
"Here lies a man who was both honest and a lawyer."
That way, whenever anyone walked by the tombstone and read it, they would be certain to remark:
"That's Strange!"

^^^Someone vote for my joke now!

i think it is worth a 5/10 since im in lecture and pretty much anything can entertain me better than my prof talking about the number system!

[sumosoma]

Why did Micheal Jackson call Boyz2Men???....................................... .










Because he thought it was a delivery service!!!!!!

[→ElectroLux←]

Your know you're Portuguese if.................


4. Your father is...yup...you guessed it...a construction
worker...wait-no...maybe a carpenter

9. A BBQ does not consist of Burgers on the grill...Hello! can you say
sardinhas???

11. You've had your license for a month, but your $20,000 car has been
"hooked up" for a year. I'm talking Rims, tints, a system...

41. you have a rooster napkin holder


8/10


Hahahaha! and you cruise around with the Brasileiros at College and Dufferin :D